79th Day

Doing so well Al keep up the good work buddy

Thanks Liam your support means a lot. Good luck with your recovery.

Went to a staunch catholic school when i was little and taught by nuns in infant years.Cant remember the gospel according to who or what chapter or verse, but quotation keeps ringing in my ears. LORD FORGIVE US FOR WE KNOW NOT WHAT WE DO. Definitely true in my case oblivious to the pain ive caused to my loved ones with each broken promise saying ive stopped. Told that lie so many times even i started to believe it.

Hi Al

you're doing brilliantly. I hope that you are proud of what you have acheived. Every day gf is a step forward into a new future and a step away from all the destructive behaviour of when we gambled. Its been great to talk with you on chat. Keep going, you can do it, one day at a time.

Hi Al,

Huge congratulations on your 100 days.

It’s a massive achievement and I’m sure you will stick with it.

Ken

Hi Stu & Ken

Thanks for your kind support. Couldnt have done it without Gamcare and the people like you guys who make it what it is.

Stay Strong

AL

Well done Alwalm - keep going.

TEMPTATION NEVER FAR AWAY

Christmas day fast approaching and no doubt my wife will spoil me rotten as shes always done. Recovery going ok but its Friday 30th November shes gone out for a bite to eat with her mother and sister for a nice meal and im home alone thinking about cringing with embarrassment on the 25th recieving wonderful gifts and ive barely got the money to buy her a small bottle of perfume. Theres football coming up on TV and im thinking surely Cardiff are due a win at last. Then im thinking to myself behave AL you shouldnt be having these thoughts.

Then im thinking just 1 bet not to start gambling again just 1 win enough to buy my wife something nice for xmas then thats it clean again. Fortunately i came to my senses and didnt even watch the game. On tuesday i told my counsellor all about my thoughts and she told me to ask my wife not to spoil me and maybe buy me 1 small gift as guilt can become a trigger point for a CG so im gonna have to talk to her.

I know shes a giving lovely person who expects little in return ( other than me ridding myself of this wretched addiction ). In fact a few weeks ago she said if i can achieve this it would be the best xmas present she could wish for.

Just goes to show how hard recovery is sometimes. The urges get easier every day but when times like xmas come along Satan is always there lurking in the back ground looking to find the smallest chink in your armour. I think some people can never honestly say IVE CRACKED IT and mean it. But at least i know its good advice when people tell me to take it one day at a time.

Stay Strong

AL

Morning AL

Just seeing how you are getting on.

Stay strong over Xmas.

Hi Ken,

Thanks for posting your support means a lot. Still gf for 133 days but over xmas dealing with not having money to buy nice gifts for my wife was as hard as the dealing with my addiction. Got those 1 more bet, just 1 little win for xmas kind of thoughts into my head. Talked it over with her and we agreed to set a budget on how much we spend on each other this year which helped cos shes always ruined me in the past. But fortunately all the urges resisted and still clean thank god. Hope you and youre family are well and have a fantastic xmas.

Best Wishes and Stay Strong

AL

Great to hear you are still doing well.

I think that you once said that your wife’s best gift would be you not gambling.

I’m looking forward to going out for a long walk on Boxing Day. It will be the first time in decades when the racing hasn’t dominated my thoughts.

Have a lovely Xmas with your family, don’t forget that the grandkids will grow up fast.

I’d never invest in anyone else’s recovery as we are the most selfish people, but I’d be gutted for you if you ever lapsed.

All the best & stay strong.

Ken

Hey Ken,

Still gf havent heard from you hows it going mate.Keep in touch your strength is mine.

Stay Strong Stay In Touch

AL

Hi Stace,

Thanks for your post, the fact that you can find the time to ask about me whilst struggling with your own problems speaks volumes about you. What a kind young lady you are. ll get over my problems its just these wretched feelings of guilt torturing me lately but i suppose its what i deserve for my sins of the past. I hope & pray this move goes ahead for you and the 6 of yous find joy happiness and security in a nice new home.

Stay Strong

AL