A fresh start

Hi Rick,

o*g, if only we all possessed hindsight we would never have started this evil addictive behaviour.

Like you I am in thousands of pounds in debt but there is light at the end of the tunnel after speaking with my debt co. yesterday I can be debt free in 3 years if I do not gamble.

We have to stop lining the pockets of these thieving, evil, low life yobs (and that includes the pay day lenders) who mesmerise with a miniscule chance of a big win.

This is a vulnerable time for us all when we are daunted by having to lead a life not to the same standard that we are used to. But it could get worse and there are places lower than the gutter if we continue to fund/fuel the greedy, vile individuals who sap us of all of our hard earned money.

Whats gone is gone and cannot be recovered. Take one day at a time and promise yourself you will not gamble just for that day.

Its not easy as I know only too well, get help to deal with the urges, got to GA its brilliant for support and encouragement and you will learn to appreciate everything that is precious and live a gamble free life again.

I wish you well in your recovery and will continue to read your diary.

Best wishes

Hope x

Hi hopeless.

I know, I just wish I would have stopped before it came to this. I can't believe I could be so stupid to let it get this bad.

I wish the payday lenders didn't exist. I'm sure that a lot of their customers are desperate gamblers like myself, desperate to get their hands on some money to chase losses when they're not thinking straight. I must have had about 50k worth of these things at least. Don't even want to work out how much money I've given them in interest.

Anyway, on a more positive note, ive got through a week gamble free for the first time in memory. I feel good about that. Thursday is my hardest day as I'm obsessed with betting on golf and thats when the tournament starts. Today, I had forgotten it was even on. I feel like I've made remarkable progress with the way I'm thinking about things, even after such a short time gamble free. My mindset has been messed up for so long. I never stopped long enough to think about what I was doing. I've lived for the last week on 20 only and it gas given me an appreciation of the value of money again. I had lost my grip on reality. I look back now and can't believe I was throwing a few hundred quid on low level tennis matches between unknown players. I was out of my mind. I can see that now.

I don't think GA is for me to be honest. I am going to see how I get on just doing what I'm doing, using this forum seems to be helping me. Reading everybodies stories and how this addiction has ruined so many lives, seems to be helping me to avoid temptation. As do all the kind and encouraging words I'm receiving from people like yourself.

All the best

Rick x

Thats good Rick that you have a good appreciation of life and starting to think more rationally about what is good and bad for you.

Yes the pay day lenders are probably all in tally with the on line sites / bookies etc, just another filthy industry for them to get their grubby little hands on our money.

Thursday is nearly over so continue to resist that impulse and congratulate yourself at midnight that you made it through.

Dont want to force the GA issue as it is all individual but I thought the same way that it wasnt for me but even today I have had such fantastic texts from members who are there for you 24/7. Just remember it is an anonymous organisation and is well respected for that, nobody knows my real name at GA, my job etc.

Keep up the good work and stay positive.

Best wishes and take one day at a time.

Hope x

Hi rick

Very well done on 7 days

It's hard but when we abstain from gambling we have to pay up so not only have we totally lost our money to gambling we have to pay back what we owe to who we borrowed from to gamble in the first place that is the madness that gambling has done to us and I still say to myself what was that all about

You have done a whole week now keep doing one day at a time keep going and keep strong

Suzanne xx

Day 10 done. Was tempted today. Probably the only reason I didn't gamble was because I'm so skint.

Payday on Friday so next weekend will be my first real test.

Hi rick

Well done on 10 days and today is day 11 for you

Payday for me too on Friday

Just think do I want to waste my hard earned cash on something that I can't win on cos I can't stop and then be skint for the next month of course you don't

So you can pass your first test if you really want to

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Thanks for the support Suzanne.

I've spent the last 3 weeks with no money at all. It's been pretty horrible. I don't want every month to be like this. Can't even afford yo pay my rent on time. So no, I will not gamble my wages. It's like working for free when you gamble away your wages. I'm not prepared to do that anymore.

Day 13 almost done. Getting harder not easier unfortunately.

Well the last 5 days have been a disaster.

Been gambling. Non stop.

When people say that we can't win because we can't stop, they couldn't be more right. No matter how much I won, it was never enough. Kept reversing the withdrawals to put more on.

Now I'm absolutely screwed. Sitting at work feeling at rock bottom. No money to get through until next pay day. Thousands owed out before then.

The reason I gambled again was because I knew I didn't have enough money. Thought my only chance was to win some.

I think if it wasn't for my situation, I wouldn't even want to gamble anymore but I can't see a way out.

I can really understand why people resort to suicide ehen they're in debt. The stress is unbearable. My phone rings all day with calls about missed payments. Post comes through the door about more debts that I can't pay. I just don't know what to do. I can't go on living like this. I'm so desperately unhappy and it's starting to scare me. Because I feel like I'm giving up. Can't think positively anymore and can't see a way out of this mess I've created. I hate myself so much for doing this.

So gutted to hear this mate,i am sat on my holidays in my house right now with wife and kids with nothing to do because I blew 1500 from thur to sun on golf 2 balls and football.join me today and put it behind you mate.together we can beat this horrible illness. Goodluck hope to hear from you staying bet free

Scottyboy

Hi Rick

This is what gambling does it's so subtle in the way it works. It is constantly there waiting for it's moment to return. Start again get the head clear and work out what you do next. Gambling always makes it look like there is no way out bar gambling but if you face your problems only then can you begin to recover.

Good Luck

Michael

Hi rick

We have to really want to committ to abstain from gambling and it's not easy but using every barrier we have to not gamble that is a good start

Ok you have slipped but you have learnt from this so remember how you feel

Use the triangle it really works if you take one away it's impossible to play

Take one day at a time you can't fix all this in one day

Sort your debts out one at a time if it's too much

Do a payment plan with them if you can

I always gambled online so after my debts and bills are paid I leave 8 in bank and take the rest out and use cash because 10 is not enough for me to deposit

CGs are one step away from betting we have to do everything we can to stop us from playing

Take one day at a time with everything and things will fall into place

We cannot win because we cannot stop,

Take care Suzanne x

Overall I didn't even lose any money this time. I just lost winnings. I haven't lost money on gambling for about 3 weeks now. Yet I have no money in the world and only got paid over 5500 last Friday. The damage has already been done I'm afraid. And it's left a legacy of thousands of pounds in payday loans and 5 maxed out credit cards. Not forgetting the 22k owed to friends and family.

The payday loans are the thing that's crippling me. I had 5k in payday loans due to be paid on the same day. So each month I end up taking them out again. It's a cycle I can't get out of. So that's when the thoughts of gambling come again. That one big win that would help me get back on track. I honestly think the debts are the only thing driving me to gambling these days. I have no other way out of this hell.

Rick.

Fella there is one option to stop the cycle, honesty, pure and simple honesty.

Be 100% honest. Make a re payment schedule that doesn't include chance and move on.

there is a wealth of help from the cab to step change.

I understand the compulsion to gamble makes you gamble on, f**k I walked in those shoes for twenty plus years.

There is another way, it requires balls and won't be easy, but it will long term reward you.

abstain and maintain

duncs stepping forward never back.

I would set up payment plans but my credit rating is important to my work. Can't afford to ruin it.

I'm at rock bottom again. So many times I've been here before. So many times I've thought to myself, turn it around now, you don't wanna ever feel like this again. Yet I always end up back here. Wasted so many years of my life, aswell as the money. The situation just keeps getting worse and worse. If it wasn't for the love of my girlfriend and parents, I would just want to give up. I can't cope with this life anymore. I constantly feel ill from stress, I'm constantly battling to just get through the days.