So even though I started realising a few days ago what utter mess I'm in (See previous posts) I've decided to start a diary. Note: Most of this will be general rambling, probably just going to use to to write whatever is on my mind that day. I don't work at the moment per se, and don't go out much at all, so most days I guess will just be mainly playing games, chilling and general ramblings (some of which I imagine won't be specifically related to gambling, hope that's not a problem?)
So yeah, Day 1: I admit I had a little relapse, decided to put £20 in slots this morning as the blocker doesn't work on casinos that have standalone clients already downloaded. Well, after losing the £20 as expected, I;ve uninstalled said client and now thankfully can't redownload it. With the block I got my Dad to put a password on which I won't remember, and it's worked a charm so far apart from the obvious standalone client issue. So here's to the start of a good journey...
Day 2: Well not much to say today really. Checked my emails today and had about 6 sites giving me free spins, had to resist the urge to go on my phone and use them, decided to go out for a walk and after coming back the urge went. So far so good, hardest part is yet to come though I assume.
Hello Kebo,
You need to find a way to get them emails out of your main folder as a minimum. Any sites you have self excluded from should not send them, though i know they do come through from all kinds of places at times (had them myself). You need to ask yourself if you are really ready to tackle this problem head on with everything you have or if all you want is to stop losing. Its hard to admit defeat even to something we know is so destructive. Its good that you have put some blockers in place but if you want this to be the time you stop you need to make them strong and after some time out of the madness of gambling you can start to work on recovery. The "why" you feel the need to gamble. We all have our reasons and triggers and its about understanding them and improving ourselves and our lives to make gambling remain to be seen as the bad choice it is for us compulsive gamblers.
You need to accept any money as lost as i know myself we get fixated on that loss and anything less than that number (and anything more too tbh) isn't enough and we just go on and on like we always did. It can get worse if you carry on but it will get better if you choose to stop. Its not instant and its not easy but its a better choice from whatever point we currently find ourselves in.
Get your time, self worth and awareness back and enjoy being the real you again. Take the help you need and be honest, theres no shame is being drawn into this. Its a HUGE money spinner, we aren't the only ones to have fallen into the trap.
All the best mate, take care.
Thanks sjw, i've already accepted that I will never see the money again. I;ve self excluded from all casinos I can think of 🙂
bit of a late update on this: Day 8: Doing well, managed to keep myself distracted due to things going on in life so hopefully can continue on track.
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