A new beginning

Hi westbrook0

Welcome to the forum.

You mention a few key points like the anxiety of not being able to provide and a lifestyle you aspire to. This can be clouded thinking and with the help in recovery you will think about life and money in a new way.

Most people have these fears and worries in life but gambling is not the answer. It never was and its not an income scheme as you have seen. Unfortunately the addiction creeps in and takes over leaving you racked with secrets and bailouts for debts.

You must now use the help and advice here to stop. Im afraid that includes not hanging out with gambling friends who havent seen the light.

Its a born again moment where you dont gamble and learn to enjoy living within your means.Counselling helps taking a look at you so dont worry about jobs and a false notion that you have to be superman in providing

A gambling addiction is complex and a lack of self esteem is part of it.

For now you need to fully focus that a gambling addiction will ruin you. It will help if you can reach out to someone close you can talk to.

You must shut down access to the payday loan cycle as soon as possible. Its all part of a false lifestyle that was coupled with the gambling.

Keep an open mind because you can change your life and become gamble free

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

thank you for your response joy divider.

so today I've woken up feeling fresh, got a driving lesson in 10 minutes to keep me focused.

Saturday has always been a struggle when I've tried to do this before but this time feels different. All the self exclusions and blocks are in place so that if I feel myself slipping I know I can't.

I also had a message back from a local cognitive behavioural therapist, going to see her next week, again another first for me.

we will see how the day goes and again thank you for your welcome .

have a good day everyone.

morning,

bit worse for wear this morning after a few beers yesterday.

stayed away from all types of betting though which is good, never quite realised how impossible it is to do anything without seeing something that reminds me of gambling. every advert every billboard every person I interact with seems to be a constant reminder.

so not being able to hide from it means it's me who has to change.

today is another day and I will beat this.

not said anything to anyone about this yet but like others have mentioned it can't work being a secret.

hope everyone is having a good Sunday morning......

Hi westbrook0

Yes the adverts are a reminder that they want your money and you know the result of a gambling addiction.

In recovery you will become calm and begin to wonder why you ever did it. The adverts will be like water off a ducks back.

Its natural in the early days to have thoughts as you come to terms with it. Dont do this alone and with the right blocks you will have better things to do while your mind heals.

Best wishes

morning all,

got through my first full weekend without a bet.

feel pretty pleased with myself.

I am an enormous sports fan, anything and everything I have a favourite team/ player.

one of my hopes for the future is that I can sit and watch all the sport without being bothered about the outcome from a money point of view.

I got into this horrible pattern of betting on the American sports over night, if I'd wake up with a win in my account i'd be really up and ready for the day, if it lost it would ruin my mood for the day.

this morning I woke up knowing I hadn't lost anything so that was great.

like I said earlier I am going to go and see a CBT this afternoon, slightly apprehensive because I know they are paid to be non judgemental but I still would be.

tonight will be a big test for me, I'm playing sport with the group of friends that are big gamblers, the game will be fine but the drinks afterwards the conversation consists mainly of sports/odds etc.

I thought I would feel really deflated not gambling, the intense high I got from winning a bet was better than winning when I play sport myself. But I feel hopeful. I feel like I know others have the same feeling I do it means I'm not alone in this.

thanks for listening.....

Westbrook

Hey, people talk a lot of the gambling hangover, it really does screw your day up and more. It has taken me a long time to realise if you don't gamble your not messing with your head and potentially being in an awful cycle of guilt, shame and self loathing. Stay strong and GF 🙂

hey sharon41,

thanks for the comment, I know what your saying, my head feels very level today. not too high from a win and not too low from a loss.

I feel like I will get back to caring about other things again now my mind isn't clogged up with odds etc.

my next big thing is to get a new job, my work is very monotonous and the fact that I can do it on autopilot allows me to gamble. I need a new challenge.

I will read your diary so hopefully I can offer a comment in return.

hope you're having a good day.

Westbrook

Good to hear from you Westbrook, having a clear head will give you a chance to think about what you realy want job wise. ..go for it!!! I'm starting to feel so much more like a 'normal person' as I am not either on a mega high from a win (which I would then lose ), Torturing myself over what I've just lost or thinking about my next opportunity to gamble. All good here ta, U 2 S

Hi Westbrook,

Well done for getting as far as you have.

American sports were my achilles heel, followed Indian Premier League, Australian sports and everything in between.

You are still early in recovery. Not gambling will feel strange and you will feel left out not discussing odds with your friends.

Remember, your desire to gamble and any feeling of being left out or incomplete without a bet is purely addiction talking. Just ignore these feelings and once you get over the hill these feelings will subside. The hill is bigger for some than for others.

Unless you live life as a hermit you will never be able to escape talk of odds or be reminded of gambling in the adverts. This is where common sense and good old fashioned will power kick in. You need to be able to think to yourself (and believe) "more fool them" as you will ultimately be the one with money left in your pocket.

I have to endure talk of betting every week when I take my son to football. The talk now just goes over my head.

Just smile and waive.

As for watching sports without a bet, this is something that will take time but it can be done. If you watch sports, you will have to change your way of thinking and make it become normal for you watch sport "au naturelle."

I am currently following the IPL from my desk and cannot wait to watch Bayern play Real on Wednesday night.

My thoughts are with nothing more that a great game of footie (which Bayern will hopefully win), a nice cup of tea and a pot noodle. These little things make me happy.

You can learn to love sport again for what is it is.

Try and remember what made you happy before you started gambling and embrace these once more. You may find they offer a nice distraction and you may learn to appreciate them even more - I know I do.

Good luck and enjoy your recovery.

Markman

hey,

so I made it through the evening that I knew I would struggle with, me and my friends talked odds and accas all night. for a second it bothered me as I'm the guy they go to for tips. but then it clicked I've saved all this money over the weekend. being so competitive it felt great, hopefully I can be the best at not gambling.

marksman, appreciate your long post, I've seen your comments on others diaries, always very insightful and caring but never afraid to say what needs to be said. thank you.

good night all, take care.

Westbrook

in work today feeling really positive, long may it last.

all about changing my mindset, previously my happiness, plans for the month, attitude towards my partner/ kids and pretty much everything else would hinge on me winning bets.

now I'm absolutely buzzing for my holiday in a month or so knowing exactly how much money I have to take and not try to win spending money like I did last year, literally ruined my holiday!

I know there will be difficult days in the future but for the moment everything seems so positive.

the only thing I cannot shake is the stupidity and the time I've wasted being unhappy. that feeling will go over time and will be blocked out by the smart decision to stop gambling and the new memories I will make with my family.

it's also my birthday soon and that ties in with a new beginning.

I spent about an hour reading through old diaries on here this morning, something to aspire to.

have a good day all.

Westbrook

Hi Westbrook, feel exactly the same ref guilt and wasting time/money. The only thing we can do is look forward and like you say be glad you've made the decision to stop gambling. Onwards we go and thing how much you'love enjoy your holiday, take care S 🙂

hi Sharon,

very much looking forward. you take care too :).

strange day for me today, not in a gambling sense.

was in a minor car accident with my other half. thankfully kids weren't in the car and neither of us are hurt. always told her she can't drive haha

massive distraction from gambling but not an ideal one.

anyway moving on made a nice meal with a glass of red and sat watching the footy.

hope everyone has had a good day.

Westbrook

Keep going mate! Sounds like you're making a really positive start.

See those constant gambling adverts, heaps of high street bookies, etc, that constantly remind us about gambling. OUR hard earned wages put the shops there, and we gave them the money to pay for the advertising. That's because the bookies always end up beating us, no matter how many times we might have a win!!

It's a real change of mindset, to stop only paying for things if you can win the money gambling first. I used to only buy expensive things for myself if I could win the money first.. rather than staying in my means and saving up for stuff!!!

Crazy when you think they can afford staff, shops, adverts etc - but we go into it thinking we can beat them.. we can't!!!!

Keep going, keep notching up the days and enjoy not having the anxiety of gambling !!!!