A new dawn

Are you ok Murlo x 

Hi Stephen, 

thank you so much for asking, that means a lot. I am much better for chatting to an advisor. I am not alone at home and will wake hubby if I need to. Just needed to talk some things through. 

Glad your ok.

Thank you for making me welcome in chat tonight.

I enjoyed the interaction.

Nite nite sweet dreams

Stephen x 

Morning. I feel shattered today, not as much sleep as I had hoped for. Off to work, hope to pop into chat later. 

have a good day all x

Dearest murlo.. Sorry to read of your disturbed sleep.. But you reached out to the right people and you know we are here too.. 

Hope today is kind to you 

Boo and Aberdeen boo ❤️

Thank you Boo and Aberdeen Boo❤️ ?

All is well this morning. It is a new week and it will be a good one. Got some great tips from netline last night so some new strategies to try. 

Enjoy your day xx

Dear Diary,

Today has been pretty routine. Thank you Netline for helping me through a difficult moment last night. It is hard to explain what went on. Sparing the detail, I had some thoughts (not so good ones) and normally when that happens I get agitated. Last night I felt serenely calm. I don’t know if that is good or bad. Maybe it is neither, just a new experience. Anyhow, I got through it and it is good to be here to reflect on day 43 gamble free.

I didn't get much sleep last night but that is ok, I have never really been a great sleeper. I had a shortish day at work today. It was a good day all things considered. I took my swimming cozzie with me and went for an unwind in the pool and jacuzzi on the way home. It was heavenly. I went for physio after that and my leg is making good progress. It might not ever function as it used to but the fact that I can use it at all is a small miracle and one that I am really grateful for. I am worrying less and less about how my leg looks and choosing to wear things that I want to wear and not just to hide it away. That feels good.

I am going to do some of the things that the GamCare advisor suggested to help with my mood and sleep this evening. Such simple things but it worked for me last night.  Not sure my hubby appreciated me having a bath at 1am but it was good for me ?.

Tomorrow I have counselling so I can do a bit more reflecting there. When I think about it, I am recovering more quickly from my bad moments so there is progress. I will keep reminding myself of that. I have to finish the book that my counsellor suggested tonight. I am nearly there. It didn't feel right to pay it any attention last night but no excuses tonight.

So there it is, a normal day and I am very thankful for that.

Wishing everyone a lovely evening x

Sleep well.. You deserve too.. Our minds are still in turmoil.. The road is still windy.. Things will settle.. I know they will 

Sweet dreams xxx

Boo and scottie boo ❤️

Thank you Boo, I have just finished reading the book that my counsellor recommended so I am feeling ready for sleep ? 

Good morning, time fro get up for work. The weather is actually ok this morning so I might have a little time for a short walk. It is counselling say so I will finish a bit early.

have a good day all x

Murlo is a braveheart getting ready for the day

A loving tranquil smile to guide her on her way

She always speaks with clarity and is not one to babble

I've heard it said this lady is a charming whizz at scrabble

Dear Diary. Day 44 gamble free.

I didn’t get the early night that I had planned last night but it was because my friend called wanting to talk about the treatment options that she has been given. It is a really confusing time for her and I am glad that I could be there to listen and help her through her thought process. She will be starting some new treatment next Monday and that is tough, so close to Christmas. She will still be coming to stay with us over the festive period and I am so glad of that. The physical and emotional toll for her must be huge. We can hopefully ease that a little for her next week.

Work was fine today, I left early to go for my counselling.

Counselling was tough but productive. I put something else in room 101 today (thank you Boo ?). It feels good. It’s something I am very definitely not proud of and has burdened me a little. Maybe one day I can share what it is but for today, it is something just for me and my counsellor to know. I have more homework from my session today and I will pay it some attention later this evening.

I went for a swim to unwind after counselling and that was lovely.  I am really at peace with myself in the pool.

All in all I have felt fine today. No thoughts of gambling or anything else bad. I am happy with that.

When I look back I can see that I have had many more good days than bad. That wasn’t the case before I reached out to GamCare.

Wishing everyone a good evening and sending my heartfelt gratitude for your support x

Tonight I need to find a way to relax and unwind. Coiled spring at the moment ?   I will try the hot drink and warm bath..

So lovely to see you back in chat at tonight Drama x

Chatted on Netline for a while and feeling calmer. Fiona, you are a star thank you x

Morning,

Another night of limited sleep. Sooner or later I will have the mother of all sleeps. 

I told my hubby this morning that I had contacted netline while he was snoring last night and why I had contacted them. The poor man nearly choked on his breakfast. Lesson learned - I had support to process my issues, he didn’t.  I will think much more carefully about how I share things in the future. I don’t ever want to keep anything from him again but there is a right way tell him.

In my counselling session yesterday I was asked to describe how I was feeling about myself. All thoughts turned to your jigsaw Boo, mostly complete but with the last few tricky bits to do, they don’t seem like they quite fit yet. Now that you have finished your jigsaw Boo, I will have do the  same for me ?.

I am not at work today so may try to catch up on some sleep...