A new dawn

Day 67 gamble free. 

I went back to work today after a bit of time off. It was nice to get out and about again and see my colleagues and some patients. 

I got a text from my counsellor this afternoon asking me to go and see her today. She'd had some feedback from a couple of sources about my wellbeing. I went to see her and it was definitely worth it. I really let everything go today (with a bit of persuasion). I can talk to her in a way  that I cannot talk to anyone else. It was really nice of her to make me go. I had postponed this week's session due to all that has been going on but in hindsight that probably wasn't wise. 

Made paella for tea and now just settling down for the evening. I have some things to reflect on.

Didn't say goodnight to you on chat.. 

Sleep and rest well.. 

The two boos... ???

Thank you boo xxx busy chat tonight?

Sweet dreams to the BR household ?

Take care.. Yes I thought chat was busy and some tender reading ?

Very heart rendering.. 

Boo ?

Hi Murlo.

I am feeling quite excited and full of hope.

At midnight I will be on day seventy  and far away from that last episode of madness when I gave a chunk of my pension to a machine in a betting shop. So stupid and irresponsible of me to do that.

Many people on the diaries have helped me, for which I am thankful and you have always given me your support and a little shove when it was needed.

Many thanks.

Stephen x 

I am counting down to midnight with you Stephen! I will be certain to celebrate the same milestone in a few days. 

You bring a lot of joy to many of us on this forum Stephen and it is just wonderful to share in your journey. 

Make sure you have that foot spa at the ready for a post celebration pamper x

I am wide awake thinking about my impromptu counselling session that I had this afternoon. I guess I was taken by surprise at the request to attend because I am feeling better than I was. It still amazes me how much information my counsellor has about me and what has been going on. I am grateful for that though because I would not think to ring her to ask for help. 

What I don't think I had realised is that I am still a long way from being on top form. I am not particularly resilient and still a bit vulnerable around the edges. Today helped me understand that all of that. 

I really do not know where I would be without this community and GamCare. 

Picture that GamCare is a large treasure chest full of gemstones, jewels and other precious treasures.

Right there in the middle is the sparkling, radiant, mysterious beauty that is Murlo.

Thank you for posting on my diary when I reached 70 Day GF. It meant a lot for someone to share that moment with me.

Stephen x 

This morning I have been able to get my wedding ring back on, that has made my day already. 

My work today is in a secure establishment so I will have to leave all of my devices at the front door. Because I will miss 1pm chat I just want to say congratulations to Boo on 90 days and to everyone else who has chalked up another gamble free day. Have a good one all x

No words murlo for that one just double love 

Boo and scottie ?

Day 68 gamble free.

What a beautiful full moon on my drive home from work.

I didn't sleep well last night. Mainly because I was thinking about my impromptu counselling session and the task that my counsellor has set me. As always she is right about what I have to address. It's just never as easy as it seems when I am actually in the room with her.

Every day since I got my wedding ring back from the jewellers I have been trying to slip it back onto my finger but it wouldn't quite get over the joint that I dislocated. This morning my hubby gently placed the ring on my finger and it slid on beautifully. It may sound really daft to say this but I felt like I had lost some of my strength without it. It has also been a bit awkward with people noticing I wasn't wearing it and not daring to ask why. I got bored of telling the story or my injuries. Anyway, it is back where it belongs now and I am feeling more whole again.

Been to work today. It is really nice to be back. Worked at a prison today so it has been a rewarding day and one with absolutely no outside distractions. For me, it was nice to have just a few hours without my phones. I am really happy to be saying that. When I was gambling, a day in a secure institution would have been really stressful because I would not have been able to bet. I would have literally have been desperate to finish my shift and clock watching all day.

For the men who are currently calling the prison I visited their home, the lack of meaningful distraction day in day out is really tough. I had the pleasure of spending a long time with one particular gentleman today. Learning all about his life and loves. He had so much to tell and I felt privileged that he chose to share things with me. It was lovely to see his eyes sparkle when we chatted. I am so pleased to have been able to give him a good deal of my time and attention. He said it was the longest conversation he had had in probably 15 years. That was sobering.

Back home now, time for some food and relaxing. It hasn't been a physically challenging day but I feel pretty tired. Hopefully I will drift off quickly tonight.

Howdy Dear Lady.

I've spent the last 24 hours in a nice little town called 70 Days GF.

The locals are real friendly and when I told them Mrs Murlo would be passing through on Sunday they said they will have a parade to celebrate your arrival.

At least I think that is what they said but I nodded off on my settee and may have been dreaming!

Stephen x 

Thank you Stephen, that is lovely ?

Day 69 gamble free. 

This morning I woke up a little later which was great. Hubby and I went out for coffee and breakfast with our neighbours. I had a stunning eggs Benedict. Came home and I cooked all morning. Soup, stuff for the freezer and stuff for the cat. Hubby has been really cuddly today so if has been hard to concentrate on the cooking ?

I am out with a couple of friends. Sampled some gins in a new bar and now settling in watching football somewhere else. 

Tomorrow will be my 10th week gamble free. Full day of things planned but most important is the rugby match at Headingly. It will be quite some day. 

Have a good evening all ?

So I am meant to be one of those high functioning people with MH problems. Maybe I am not. 

I said too much in chat tonight about my current state of mind  and I'm sorry. My issues should not be anyone eles's concern. This is about your recovery. I am not giving mine up btw.