A richer life in more ways than one part 2 (02/24)

Hello lids, Stace and Fiona......  Thank you for popping by......yes lids these obstacles hurdles of life however hard they become make us stronger .....Stace I know u also struggle with reality at times and I'm glad to see you get thru it each time stronger .....Fiona thanks for the support just read it back and there is a lot of positivity that could of been such a negative post had I not fought my way thru this problem.

Went back to my flat last night and tonight with my mum for support......crises team came round today and I'm looking to go back to work next week on a phased return

I'm thankful today for a friend I spoke to yesturday that made me see once again that the voices aren't real and it brought me relief from them and grounded me 

I'm also thankful for my family they really are strong and get me thru these times.

I'm thankful for my garden and being with nature.

I'm thankful for my comfy bed and music to listen to.

The voices tonight say they will never go which was tough to hear after an afternoon with a clear empty mind...... But I know that from experience the voices lie about all sorts and what they say generally doesn't equal the truth.

I'll stick to a plan for health.

I'll stick to my strength in my head which is never lying or acting.....it's got me where I am today.

I'm sticking to an exercise regime.....done 7000 steps today...... Which is the least I've done over the period I've been ill.

I'm thankful for my job I know is secure whilst I'm ill..    I'll be back and altho voices some of which are colleagues are saying they don't want me back and will poison me etc I know that is not real and they will be happy to see me in real life.

Onwards I go thru this tough time.

I'm looking forward to many things this summer and nothing is going to stop me getting there......gambling no way....smoking no way....mental health no way......

I'll get to summer and will be looking after myself, family and friends no. One priority.

Hello Adam123,

Well done for continuing to share so honestly and openly about your journey in your online diary.

I am glad that you have continued peer support here on the Forum. Despite everything you describe going through yesterday the tone of your post seems mostly hopeful which is a testament to your determination and ongoing hard work. I am glad to hear that you were able to speak to your mother, you feel that your job is secure, and you even managed to walk 7,000 steps for your mental and physical health yesterday.

The Helpline Advisors are here as always on 0808 8020 133 (or through webchat) if you need further support 24/7.

Take care,

Louise

Forum Admin

Hello Adam123,

Well done for continuing to share so honestly and openly about your journey in your online diary.

I am glad that you have continued peer support here on the Forum. Despite everything you describe going through yesterday the tone of your post seems mostly hopeful which is a testament to your determination and ongoing hard work. I am glad to hear that you were able to speak to your mother, you feel that your job is secure, and you even managed to walk 7,000 steps for your mental and physical health yesterday.

The Helpline Advisors are here as always on 0808 8020 133 (or through webchat) if you need further support 24/7.

Take care,

Louise

Forum Admin

Thank you Louise xx

Well here I am had a pretty good day..... Went to national trust place first thing.....slept pretty well .... No voices in my head today thankfully ..... I'm hoping this is the start of a proper recovery.  Brought my mum some flowers to say thank you for support.

These last few weeks have really shown what a healthy place I've been in the last few years and I'm hopeful now that I can get back to that.

Just watched Wales get knocked out euros ....feel for them.

A nice sleep tonight then a few things to do tomo.

Going to put up blinds in kitchen.

Clean flat a bit more.

Got engineer coming out to sort internet.

Also got crisses team coming at nine am.

Onwards I go 

I'm in a fragile state but am hopeful for a full recovery.

Thanks for the support on here as always Adam xx

Here's post 2790odd haha can't believe I've posted that many times however each one has helped me or aimed to help another so they are all very worthwhile.

Had a lovely weekend...... Clean flat......very clean flat......blinds up in kitchen now.... Couple more slats to put in then that's my flat complete ....... Just need a few more bits like lampshades (better things to spend a total of hundred odd pounds on tbh) but needs must.....then a couple of frames and more pictures .......to complete the flat.

Very proud of my flat been working Soo hard to get it all paid for and looking good and all mod cons in order for me to live comfortably.

Been looking at finances again old habits die hard ... Saved four k this financial year and spent three k on flat so 7k all to good cause...... If the 13k I earnt.

This year I'm going to look at my spending even more deeply..... I'll look to reduce my food spending and altho I'll be spending on alcohol this year..... My aim will be to put 9k up 2k on last year towards either the flat (re pointing this year) or my debt ( 38k).....

If I can get near or below the 30 k mark then happy days.....

I'm buying ten ciders for a friend at work.....bought my mum some flowers......I'll buy friends some beers for if they pop over ....... I'll buy some jd for special occassions and my holiday.....I've spent 140 pounds on lodge for June for my annual holiday..... I'll be spending all this summer in my garden getting a tan....

Happy happy happy days to look forward to.

Adam

Well done  great to spend money on your family  and yourself keep up the good work.im early days I hope I can get more patience  and less panicked  when cones to finance 

Hi Conor thanks for popping by..... and for the positivity....

Had a lovely day today....woke up midday....then a friend came over for a steak.....peppercorn sauce....chips..... lovely...then listened to the football a couple of good results for me come on spurs thats all ill say....then had some crumpets for tea....then looked at my finances....... all in all a good day.

I spoke to my bosses boss about my starting to drink again....and deep down i was thinknig quite a lot about it....and tbf i dont think its a good idea to start again.....im better health wise if i dont start again...and also reseting the 6 year mark again for a few drinks then changing my mind would start the clock over again.... and i like to keep going with my non vice commitment.

|So i took back the bottle of jd i bought and it gives me 19 pounds more to spend on food and means that i havent reset the clock....

Finanaces wise just looked at my energy usage and i think no its starting to get warmer im going to attempt to not turn my heating on from now on...... soo far this month ive not turned it on and its not been too cold so hopefully we wont have another cold snap? we will see.....but soo far this month ive spent 4 pounds on electricity.... so ive allocated 35 pounds next month for my energy.....

The last two months ive been saving really well..... this is the second motnh where 800 will go towards debts.... out of the 1100 i earn.....also my wages should go up 90 pounds a month from this month which will go a hell of a long ay towards bills.... excellent.

Looks like the gym will open soon in town.....not sure whether ill join we will c.

Works going pretty well im settling back in nice to see everyone again and getting good feedback currently.....nothing i need to change so thats really good.

All the best Adam

I feel like im ready to go now in the next six months of summer..... i feel like im ready to get fir and healthy more now..... i ave looked at gym options today....... one is the leisure centre i was at before....... its got sports, swimming, health suite and gym a long with classes for 55 pounds a month including my discount concession rate.....bit pricey.....then theres the pure gym that opens in town soon...... its 14.99 month (much better) but is only a gym so would be just weights and treadmill etc.... then theres the budget option of doing neither and just going for walks around town when the weather is nice and using the weights that are free atr the park......

All in all i think ill go for the 14.99 a month approach for a few months and see how that goes....

The good thing is i finnish work at three pm so can got to the gym for four and make use of non peak exercise.

Think im going to look to loose some weight and increase my fitness levels......

It's the start of a good summer six months worth of being active i hope.

Another day done.....another fifty pounds in the back burner...... Had a good day bought some donuts for work collegues today........ custard and jam ones......they enjoyed......  Went and had my monthly injection.....then dinner round folks....then bac kto watch the footy and gamcare chat......will have an early ish night tonight like last night.......

Pretty happy with how everythings going lately after the episode.....comfortably back in control of my mind.

All the best adam

Another two days done.....I kind of take for granted days without much stress now due to the length of time ive been without gambling...... but i do know that im one step away from disaster.....

Going to join the gym again tomo hopefully...... Theres not a deal on but im thinking id like to be bit more healthy over summerand my mum wants to play some sports again with me. 

So with nhs card its 55 a month which includes all sports courts, swimming, health suite and gym.

Its 48 without the heath suite but thats half the pleasure for me as i like to unwind in there.

So tthink i will join up tomo.......

Going to try an use plenty of times if im not using ill cancel.

Think ill try lots of sports over summer months then lots of tv and early nights over winter months.

Self care at its best.

Another few days have paased..... im on the health kick of the century for me..... i will get into shape if i continue at this rate.....walked 18500, 10000, 10000, 20000 so on average 14k a day...... Tomo im playing table tennis with mum and dad.....will look to walk plenty at work tomo.....health kick is where its at.

Operation Health Kick..... 

All my focus is on this kick at the mo...... Im not eating amazing.......As ive build up a lot of freezer food in my freezer and my parents im spending this month getting thru it all so it doesnt go out of date....its good as i dont have to spend much money on food just bread and milk really plus the odd steak at weekends......