Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning Duncan

Thanks for the support , echo a little of what Andy says its hard to find the words when ur so consistent in ur recovery , in my eyes ur the one who sets the benchmark for us all to follow and thats meant at the fullest compliment as it could be paid , the inspiration u give to so many others to follow in their own recoveries can only give them hope and belief

Got nothing but praise for u, in my own recovery I take all the positivity u bring to this site and make full use of it , behaviour breeds behaviour in my eyes and u lead the way on that front

What u do is truly amazing I hope just for one day u do take a step back and let the realisation of what u av achieved and the many many other people u av helped sink in

Its something to be so proud of as u chose to do it

Castle2

Morning Duncs, hope life is treating you well. I could never eat a Rock Dove, they're quite streamlined and somewhat slender. No sir, I only have eyes for a wood pigeon, every time I see one I lick my lips and whisper 'butterball' which is strange because I don't even know what a butterball is. I don't know what it is about them apart from the fact they look so round and plump. Probably an evolutionary throwback kicking in inside my brain. Likewise, put an elephant in a fur coat and I'll probably feel like throwing spears at it.

Anyway, have a good day and keep doing what you do best, abstaining, inspiring and motivating.

Steve

Morning diary.

Thanks for the kind words, today i do something i believe in I can see all the good that can come from abstinence. Nice to see my wife post(under my moniker) on the family and friends page, again i hope it helps.

This morning i have been lectured by my neighbour. I have in his mind ruined the integrity of all the houses in my street!!

Why??

Because i put my green wheelie bin outside my garage door, attached to a cable lock. Now by my neighbours thinking we await every burglar in pompey to climb over and scale the garage roofs and rob us blind.

My reply "morning would they not just use the gate next to it, the one without the lock??"

No answer given he just walked off.

The reason i put the bin outside is simple, we don't own a car and don't access our garage through the big door, we use the gate. We have a twenty foot square garden out back and the dogs have taken a liking to peeing up the bin.

So using our threshold i enhanced my garden.

My neighbours way is to shout and hollar as its his way or the highway, over the nine yrs living here he has fallen out with everyone, except us.

we have felt his rath over many things from bbq smoke to how i planted my tomatoes but he has never had a reaction.

today he won't get one either.

just another lesson for life, funny before i would have gone running indignant to the bookies to right the wrong.

through my learnings i feel more tolerant, rather than rant why could he not just discuss things.

i used to be an empty vessel too, full of steam!!!

wonder if the milk tray man might knock the window later,hope so we can get him to wash the gutters out lol.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning Dunc.

"Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours...."

Maybe he should accept the things he cannot change..ie where you put YOUR wheelie bin!!!

gazza

Afternoon diary.

Well no milk tray man yet, maybe all the burglars are having an extended bank holiday!! lol

Gazza great to see you about the forum and giving out some wise words, that is what we are all here for, to find away to live a better life without gambling what we have.

Me I understand total abstinence is the way forward for me.

In reading around another gambling addiction forum today, the name NT came up alot in the margin and that raised a great big smile:)))))))))

Just for today

stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

Hope your doing well, maybe bake some cookies for your neighbor, that would surely confuse him. Great to have incidences that occur in our lives remind us of past behavioral actions we would of taken, but today we choose the number 1 action, abstinence. Enjoy the rest of your week, and thanks again for you support and kind words.

Chicagoguy

Thanks for your continued support Duncs.

It is great to know that you are rooting for me.

All the best and stay strong yourself my friend.

Cheers

Ade

Hi Duncs, I'd get rid or the wheelie bin and leave a few unchained ladders there instead, oh and alongside a crow bar too. If that doesn't annoy him then set the whippets onto him whilst holding a street barbecue/carnival. He sounds like a right ars*hole, don't let ''em ruin your day.

Steve

evening diary.

been feeling a bit of angst today, not for me for other folk on this forum, they arrive broken, pour out there hearts then a couple of days in gone, they slide down the pages into the abiss, never to be seen again.

in one of my GA booklets it speaks of intervening in anothers gambling issues to show them the path to recovery and how it can have the adverse affect on the addict and drive them deeper into there addiction.

in this i see the answer is to try and find balance in offering support, a lesson i learnt from both sides of the forum.

to be non judgmental comes to me through my experience through abstinence, to think i used to be the most self opinionated fella on earth, my way or the highway.

but then gambling does give you a one track mind.

the solution to whatever life threw my way.

good bad or ugly was a Punt.

so today i think of all those absent posters who have fallen from the forum, my hope is folk from both sides of the fence, that simply life treats them well and with respect.

me i made a choice today.

the most important choice of my life

No bet today.

tomorrow i hope to do the same and enjoy the rewards,i hope the same for all of you.

duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary fella.

Make sure you do keep moving forward this weekend and concentrate fully on your golfballs my friend!

All the best

Ade

Morning Duncan.

Hope this post finds you well and looking forward to a productive weekend. All good at my end. Work and decorating has consumed my time this week and I've barely been on the site but it's good to be doing things other than thinking about gambling. Best wishes.

G

Hey Duncs

Just wanted to say, hope you are well and add that I thought that was a really good post on 31st May - well said. I have not been feeling myself for the past week and so have not really used my diary or those of others. I do agree though, that it is important to keep posting and I am happy to say that I have made an effort today even though I have had a bad week. It definitely makes you feel a whole lot better writing in your own and others diaries.

Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Take care.

Lady Feb.

Mornin Duncs, the sun is out and I'm wishing you well

morning diary.

thanks all my spirits are lifted by your kind words.

well yesterday i enjoyed a wonderful day with my beautiful wife, a rare day were we worked hard to accomplish everything in the morning, washing, gardening, supper, food shopping. then off just the two of us after walking the hounds a good few miles, well they chased alot of rabbits then found the stinking newt pond again!! we then cycled pretty much all of pompey, searching the charity shops, second hand shops for a dining table project, we would like to find a big old wooden table that needs a great deal of love and six different chairs to complement it. We stopped a couple of times for refreshment and by the time we got home re walked the dogs Showered them!!! and had supper it was dark.

at three this morning i woke, well my back woke me in huge spasm, so dosed up on my trusty tramadol and diazapam i now lay prostrate in agony.

work later which should be fun lol.

I have had back problems since my twenties when i had an accident in a kitchen with a huge pan and a fat grate to which i am left with disc damage. I have a pretty good pain threshold and have through many years learnt to cope.

I gave thought over the past few days to the thoughts on the forum of levels of compulsion/ addiction. In asking myself is my compulsion to gamble the reason for the sh#t in my life.

Not entirely but a great deal of my troubles had stemmed through there lack of attention as that would have meant sacrificing gambling time.

now todays relevant question. Did arresting my addiction fix the problems in my life. No not entirely but for sure my life has improved many fold through abstinence.

Many aspects, time management, accountability, honesty, focus and drive and determination to see things through have all been gifted the opportunity to flourish.

I attempt things today which before abstinence i simply would have thought not worthy, or more to the point i thought myself not worthy.

I had an amazing chat with a young hotel owner this week on the amount of establishments who plainly underwhelm on so many levels. leaving customers walking away saying " I could have done better myself"

we both share the mantra of " I won't serve it if i really wouldn't eat it myself" lol makes for some interesting services, i wonder what guests would think of half eaten plates arriving, the hostess just looking bemused and saying

"oh its delicious"

no bet today, why would you.

my name is Duncan i am a compulsive gambler. no bet since 23/01/2012.

stepping forward never back.

Hope the tabs have sorted your pain, mine just 'scrambles' my brain sometimes (check out the food reference). Had to sell my Le Creuset pans just couldn't lift them any more so don't envy you working in food, so much lifting and carrying.

Loving the idea of adding 'potatoes' to my life's pot to dilute the salt but trouble is mine are all so 'mashed' at the moment doesn't seem to be helping much. Thinking I just need a bit more 'spice' in my life to distract me from 'vegging' out when I am fed up and tired.

Used to have a big old house with lead lights etc that we spent years renovating when I was first married, really enjoyed it and your table hunting reminded me of that time. I used an old pew out of a local church to make my kitchen seats and loved recycling stuff that way. A bit different living on the houseboat but have a big kitchen so still have a seven seater table but have used a big old garden table with benches and scrubbed it up which is great for the grandchildren. Have you any auctions locally, used to get lots from them too only risky as tempting to over buy and end up with a house full of stuff that then needs to go to auction.

Sorry nattering on a bit but does help me get things into perspective again. Bizarre but it also helps to hear you still get demon urges sometimes and overcome them, as drives me nuts when I see posts that day after day say no urges at all however wonderful that may be for them. Just 'sour grapes' I guess.

Just take care weilding that knife when you have been taking tramadol or Sarah may well be stitching 'fingers' back on tonight.

xxx