Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Ouch, the dreaded discs. I still have a dreaded fear when it comes to sneezing just in case it causes damage. A deuce of tramadol and diazepam, I'd be lying in the sun now in my pyjamas laughing at the leaves in the trees as they sing the chorus line from 'cabaret.' I love and hate those tablets in equal measure and I can fully understand how people become addicted to them. I know you're too sensible for that though Duncs. I haven't taken any now for many weeks, so I've stopped itching and smiling all the time.

It sounded like you had a lovely day yesterday. I have a clinical, rational side to my character but I also have a sentimental, romantic side too. It warms my heart to witness and see couples, young or old in love, doing nothing more than spending time with one another, happy in each others company. True love, with the right person is special, all the money and possessions in the world doesn't come close and I'm glad that you've been blessed with this happiness. Cycling, walking, restoration, all together, all good. You don't need money to buy you this only values like, trust, respect, compromise and care. Gambling, I suppose could have denied both of you the simple joys of yesterday but it didn't because you saw sense and changed and because your partner believed in you and stood by you through thick and thin.

All of us travel similar but different paths, it doesn't help to carry around bitterness, regret or guilt. For these emotions destroy everything, yet all you carry is appreciation which is a joy to read and inspires, motivates others.

Many thanks

Keep peddling forward Duncs never backwards and keep enjoying your recovery.

Steve

afternoon diary.

i am now prostrate on my living room floor. Sarah wanted to call an ambulance, me i said call the doctor. they phoned and said i should go for an appointment lol i ain't going anywhere soon. now waiting for triage to phone back. i picked up a bin bag and boom""!!!!!!!@#&&*"!!!!ouch i remember that pain prolapse !!!

i await the call

oh and i have a fat lip!!! hovis thought it was play time

went in with the head lol.

may be physically still for a bit!! not mentally

stepping forward never back.

duncs

Jeez Duncs hate the thought of you being in that kind of pain! Don't screw around with it. If your wife thinks you need some immediate medical maybe it's cause you do. Just saying.. Anyway, hope you get relief pronto. Also, thank you for the image of wearing Ed's dog tags. That is exactly what it feels like. You hit the nail right on the head. Thanks for "seeing me" even thru cyber space. Something my poor old mom cannot do even when sitting in the chair directly across from me.. -joanxxx

thanks guys for your support.

got myself comfortable on the floor, spoke to a doctor on the phone who faxed a prescription to a pharmacy which was closed lol. my Joe fixed it by finding an open chemist, bless the nhs.

so pain relief for tonight sorted and docs or a and e in the morning for me.

oh happy days, still can now witness England getting a football lesson later lol. well i guess with the meds i am shovelling in it may be a lot bit cloudy lol.

duncs.

Hey Duncs

So sorry to hear you are in the wars and in pain. hope the medication kicks in soon and you are able to enjoy the football.

Look after yourself and take it easy.

Lady Feb.

Hey Duncs,

Hope you feel better, take care of that back. Thanks for the post of encouragement on my diary.

Chicagoguy

Yo,

Just logged on to find that you had just been posting .

I have an excuse for being awake at 1am, I am really hoping that yours is not that the pain from your back is keeping you wake .

Thank you for your post earlier .

Take care mate !

Shiny xxxxx

thanks shiny, Mr c and Feb.

Oh this could be a long hard night for sure, I have dozed for an hour at best, then a movement and such@#%&***!!!!!

With honesty my pain thresholds amazingly high but this is on another level. Still just re dosed up more diazapan and some of the codene i got gifted earlier.

I will self assess in the morning as to were i will seek help as tonight i know i need it.

bless Mr. blue one of my whippets has sat curled up on the edge of the couch since i hit the floor watching over me. maybe he thinks I'm a giant rabbit lol. i'll know when he gnaws my leg lol.

duncs. sorry for those suffering my dribble but it takes my mind away from the ripping sensation i have.

Morning Duncan

Wincing whilst reading sounds very painful

Physical pain and mental pain something u av both experienced , recovering physically is certainly well hopefully for u right now is easier than the mental pain gambling brought into ur life , the damage that did to everything in ur life leading to u nearly losing the lot , so maybe now ur mentally strong ur endurance levels are much higher and will put u in good order for a quick recovery

Look after urself health is everything

Castle2

Bringing back painful memories Dunc. Codeine won't do much I suspect. Hope it can get sorted quickly.

Grapes on the way

Steve

Thanks for post Duncs and sorry to read that you havent been well, hope you feel better soon.

Glad that for you abstinence doesnt make your life boring and pleased that for you and many others you have a better life without gambling.

Agree recovery is not a competition, didnt mean to imply as such, just feel recovery is easier for some than others.

Can only speak from experience and my periods of abstinence have just been dull and lifeless with the financial side and debt reducing being the only plus. Also I'd say I do appreciate the simpler things in life more during abstinence but I dont feel alive and life becomes a continuous routine cycle with not a lot to look forward to.

Yo,

Just read what you wrote on Captains thread , you have this amazing way of creating balance through your posts . If that makes sense , I have learnt so much from you in the last year . And today I just wanted to thank you for that .

Hope your pain has started to subside , and today you are feeling a bit better .

Shiny xxxxx

Hello Duncan,

All my regards and my wishes of good health to you...i am 1 week old on this forum and 3 weeks gambling free,your journal is a great source of inspiration, i read everyday 2or 3 pages! do you still feell the need of following sports odds and results?can you watch a soccer match without thinking at the odds?any tips for overcoming this problems? again all my admiration for your dedication and all the health and the strenght in the world! From Bulgaria,Ivan

afternoon diary.

thanks for the support, shiny i believe we both took in equal measures, funny i read about folk posting to the other s*x and the problems it would have brought, in honesty I think my Sarah has first and foremost seen us as addicts who need help and support before our gender, so like me she takes the threads for there content before the author.

I managed to scrape myself off the floor and get to my gp.

he has dealt with my back problems for many a year, the diagnosis is i have a herniated disc, for this i have been referred to pyhsio were they will carry out a scan to assess the damage, that will take a day or two for the referral, in the mean time i will alternate between the tramadol, diazapan, ibroprofin in a bid to keep the pain manageable.

long term i will just need to be aware that it will deteriorate with age.

Got me thinking my life has been about excess and my body bares the scars, like the other things sent to try me i got the doc to print of as much info as he could and will look to gift myself the best opportunity.

to add i have a lovely bruised mouth from my hovis whacking it yesterday. blue bless him looks bewildered at my presence upon the floor lol.

Sarah went back to work today after her half term break so she will come home worn out.

today i will task callum our youngest to cook supper, he has all the makings of a great cook, so he can make a pasta dish for the herd, me i will enjoy the aroma!! like yesterdays bean chilli that smelt great too!! me i will live on jelly and pills !! as through experience toilet will not be an option for a few days ! lol.

enough of my waffle i can feel the latest batch of pills calling.

duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi mate, hope the body is holding up better today and well done on your continued progress with not gambling, hope you've had a good day

Andy