Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

evening diary.

well this forum will never cease to astound me, folk who have piles of sh#t to shovel but still find the humility to hold that all important olive branch for another to *****, Rachel has again shown even though her life throws more sh#t her way and not of her own making, she is willing to help folk from both sides of the fence those affected with some sound words with true humility and an amazing compassion.

if i could make my lifes work to be half as compassionate i will live a proud man.

tonight i felt the need for a crutch, something to focus my drug induced mind on, as through previous experience i know my judgements seriously affected by the necessary medication to find some comfort. so many of you have contributed to my restored healthy mindset tonight i salute you one and all.

there has been an amazing presence of some truly outstanding posts on many sections of the forum, once again i am humbled and honoured to belong.

its a wonderful feeling when your feeling like without this presence that addiction would be using your weakness to its gain.

well not tonight fella.

we are united in our crusade.

there are many battles being fought, together our army will win the war.

thankyou gamcare i salute you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

I know that pain all to well. I had back surgery in 2002 for a herniated L-4 L-5 disc. Had a procedure done called a hemi laminectomy. Best thing I ever did to alleviate the pain running down my left leg. The disc had herniated onto my L-4 L-5 nerve root going down my left leg. If you end up needing surgery, have a nuro surgeon do it, I heard the recovery time is much quicker then having an orthopedic surgeon do it like I did. I did the injections also, but it just masked the pain for a short time. Make sure you try therapy first, lots of different options these days. I hurt mine at work doing concrete, thats what I do for a living, and ended up getting a full release back to work with no restrictions. From surgery to release to full duty, about 6 months. Hopefully therapy will help you out, take care and thanks for the kind words on my diary.

Chicagoguy

Hi Duncan

Your commitment to commenting in peoples diaries is one of the most remarkable things I've seen in the forums and in recovery from addiction. You put others first and in doing so personify quite the opposite of a gambler (a gambler being someone who can only think of their own problems). In many ways our journeys are the same but also very different and it is only through the support network that we can realise our shared goal of abstinence.

Hope that you are well

Myles

P.S. I'm happy to be on the same side of the fight as you!

Hi Duncs... you have my commiserations with your back problems and the resulting pain, which I can imagine must be blumin awful at times. My recent health problems were all self-inficted and have now passed. Ive been a right moaning Minnie lol

I remember years ago when my dad had prolapsed disc. he was in a a lot of pain for a long time. The way you cope is truly admirable. I also echo the recent thoughts from others.

Here's wishing you a speedy recovery to being pain free. Regards... S.A 🙂

Hiya Duncs

Wow ...owch and wow ...good grief the pain you must be in ...Im amazed you still manage to keep your spirits so high and keep the folks on GC motivated even though you must be in agony!

Thank you for the shout out my friend.....I hope folks have worked out now that when my demonic alter ego comes out I go to ground on my diary and try and plough through til I come out again on ther side ....

I skim over posts to check if everyones ok then carry on with the exorcism of trash dumping ..lol

Been reading some great posts on f and f and great to see Sarah on there too ....I sometimes wish the people would all swap emails and phone numbers to be able to support each other especially with children...it must be hard getting time to go to meetings with small children..

Wishing you well and wondering if you are sleeping with a door or hardwood under the mattress as they reckon that can help..my pal had a lower disc problem in his 30s believe it or not from sitting on a kitchen bar stool thing and switching channels on a tv set!!! No word of a lie.

Keep posting Duncs ...get well soon

R and D xx

Evening diary.

Tonight i feel like gamcare gave me a great big hug.

Feels like i lost a penny and found a twenty pound note.

Today through immense back ache i have done little but gingerly walk the block a few times and lay prostrate on the floor.

Intermittently taking a selection of mind altering pain relief.

Diazapam mess with my mind, i know they work at relaxing the muscles so recovery from the slipped disc will be enhanced by me taking them, but they leave my inner mind wide open. Its like i open a tunnel in my inner brain, a long deep void, hollow and empty of rational thought. So gambling, formulating pipe dreaming smirks and danced around that void. Stating its case for the come on duncs make yourself feel better!! Take a chance!!

Well gamcare you today are my sanctuary.

Gambling you can f******k right off!!!!!

Tomorrow i visit physio and will start rehabilitation with Ernest.

To my wife, your smile reassuring, full of love.

A love i won't be taking a chance on losing.

Not today.

Today i have a will to better my tomorrow.

Two days till 500 gamble free days, also my 10th wedding anniversary.for that is enough to make the pain dissipate.

Strength of mind a gift abstinence gave.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Valium eh? Oh boy.. I know what you mean. I gotta thank you for dropping by because that little nudge of reassurance -- just knowing sometimes that I am not alone. Well, that's huge. Anyway, looks like Im gonna need to get that baseball bat out again. I will take the all night watch. Stinking urges. I'm stoked now!! lol. Feel better will ya! -joanxxx

Ouch Duncs,

I do hope that back of yours is sorted soon, being in pain and laid up on the floor is enough to send anyone loopy but you opened that tool box of yours and used it well to fill that void.

So gambling i agree you can foooooooook right off ! Your not welcome here.

That beer is on ice and i think in 2 days time its a good enough reason to *** it open.

500 days and 10 years.... WOW !!

Take care

blondie

The dreaded 'big itch'. When I had my new knee last year I was allergic to the morphine and tramadol, itching til I wanted to step out of my skin, so they injected me to stop the itching but that injection made me sick so they injected me to stop me being sick but that injection gave me an upset stomach so they -- get the pattern here.

Did find Calomine lotion helped with the itch.

Think you might write some poetry while you are out of action as the way you package your ideas is so creative, really makes me remember what you say so thanks as always and get better quickly.

xxx

Hey Duncs,

Hope that back is feeling better. Take it easy, and thanks for the support.

Chicagoguy

Duncan

Thanks for the post. I certainly don't want to start any competition and I respect your opinion but I have a strong view on the definition of a compulsive gambler and someone with over 300000 available to them doesn't match my criteria. You nearly lost your house, I had to remortgage mine and borrowed every pound I could to keep gambling thereafter. That defines compulsion for me. Borrowing and gambling every last pound. Not disputing Ade and everyone else is worthy of the same level of support for gambling problems at varying levels of impact.

Evening diary.

Well been up and about today, physio again in the morning, back on the floor now, and re dosed up on more dreaded Diazapam, oh the itching lol, i never gave it much thought until my dear friend Steve pointed out what tramadol does lol, still i know they work so will keep dosing up on them, my back has a ball of pain in it now, i know through experience that the disc's are pushing the vertebrae. Still in the right hands and been here before.

Slow and steady, and the weight loss continues, not many calories in wine gums lol.

Captains post means alot, to reply in a manner in which he feels befitting. For me i learnt not to judge, not that i'm not worthy of opinion, but i feel to bring competition to the forum would only be damaging.I hope all parties keep posting and most of all recovering.

Day 499 in my recovery today. Something i am hugely proud of.

Ten years ago tomorrow i wed my beloved Sarah, a day in my gambling life i will treasure, a day were i didn't gamble!!

A day were i got to show the person whom i love my commitment for life.

Today i thank her for standing by my side, through my darkest hours she was my lights guide.

Today we share that torch.

Tomorrow we will toast our life, me with a glass of milk and a handfull if pills lol.

Today i would like to pay tribute to Joan.

Together we found belief.

For sharing Thankyou.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Thankyou for your recent posts and support.

Hope the meds are working and the pain subsiding my friend.

By the time you read this you would be 500 days into your recovery. And also married for 10 years, I believe that one to be the 'Tin anniversary' if memory serves me right!?!...

Well done on both fella.

Keep doing what you're doing and hope that your little wobble has gone away now. Reading these diaries does help. That text I got from another web-site was found just by me googling "how do i stop gambling"!! I just stumpled across it. It is well written and really does touch a nerve with regard to wanting to stop and being honest about recovery.

You have managed both of the above and for that I have total admiration.

My problems differ somewhat, as I struggle to totally let go as you did....

I am getting there (I think!)

Keep moving forward

Cheers

Ade

Congratulations on reaching this amazing milestone in your recovery Duncs. Happy anniversary too, hope you're feeling physically better, take care.

Steve

Hi Duncan,

Happy Anniversary 2 u and Sarah, I hope u both have a gr8 day, u deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

I just wanted to thank u 4 ur recent posts on my diary, I needed support and u were there 4 me and ur posts make a lot of sense. The support u give others on this forum is amazing. U r a true inspiration. It is people like u and ur positive diary that keeps me fighting 4 a better life so thank u again .

Have a gr8 day xx