Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

evening Diary

Well I managed to get away from work by half twelve today, mind I did start at five so nearly a full day lol, then met up with my beautiful wife in town so we could grab a few needed bits, nice to have a couple of hours of each others company, time to chat and just enjoy the quiet lol, far better than spending my afternoon sat pouring my hard earnt into a faceless machine that would just empty another part from my soul,leaving a hollow void, oh and an empty bank balance.

Then home for bangers and mash and onion gravy delicious, cooked up by Sarah so I got to catch up with my boys and the football news from the weekend.

All in all today has been like having a days rest, my mind really is in a good place regards life at present, the past still plays a part but doe's not dominate my every thought, and I look toward the future, something I can say I have not done much of in my adult life.

Great to see lucy back,smiling of course!!

Early to bed for me tonight, I will be looking to catch that worm early tomorrow!!

Then second legs of the football to fill the evenings for the next couple of nights,to boot they look finely balanced which for the neutral is great!!

Oh and my beloved Pompey managed another three points on saturday,moving closer to safety!!

so youngest is well pleased.

I made a choice today, that choice made all these things possible, I choice that I really did enjoy making

No bet today.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs - I got a warm glow reading your last Diary entry - so good to see that you are enjoying life with the family. And nothing like bangers, mash and onion gravy to lift the spirits!

Being gamble-free certainly allows us to appreciate the simpler, wholesome things in life, and makes us better company to be with.

Keep living the good life.

Joanna

Hi Duncan,

Every other time I read a post of yours it has home made food in it...not that I'm envious but it is definitely something worth savouring both literally and metaphorically! Work is work...I'm glad that your son has found something that he loves that he can call his vocation...but that's what talent and dedication can achieve.

Hope the dogs and the family are well, and my continued congratulations for persistently kicking the backside of the gambling demon!

Ryan

evening diary

Great to see the forum being used to it's full potential.

I love to read about how folk embrace life, warts and all once they find recovery.

For me everything feels much more vibrant when I am not wasting my time sat infront of a machine chasing a ridiculous £500 pipe dream.

So today I set off a bit later for work, got to enjoy a stroll with the hounds first which always sets me up for the day with a spring in my step.

Grafted hard and got to come home to a full on roast lovingly prepared by my Sarah who is off work for the easter holidays, nice to be looked after, I know she enjoys the kitchen as much as I do so it is refreshing for her to have the run of it lol and don't tell her 'her roast potatoes are better than mine!!' proper mumsy!!

Got paid today and every penny is going to furnish debt, that too is a good feeling, the cycle will be repeated for the near future whilst the work is paying well, I do hope to be fully debt free by the end of 2014, purely because the opportunity currently presents itself, if that changes then I won't beat myself up about it.

Life whatever it throws my way won't lead me into making decisions that will force my gambling brain to the front of my mind.

This for me is key to my continued recovery.

To abstain and miantain

Today I made a choice,one which gifted the opportunity to see the hard eanrt spent not wasting a single penny.

that feels good to write.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

stepping forward never back.

And, feels great to read!! Thanks for your unconditional support Duncs. I mess up that is true but every day I get stronger and stronger and that is in part due to this forum and the example set by great folks like you and your Sarah. I too love a good roast!! Enjoy!! -joanxxx

Evening diary

well the sun shone right through the day today, had a busy day grafting hard then home to wander with the hounds with my beautiful Wife, enjoying the quiet and the hounds chasing shadows.

Then home to cut the lawn and the neighbours to boot,just because I could, the fella upon returning home was made up, all for 15 minutes effort,nice to be able to give something and want nowt in return,good for the soul.

Spag bol for supper delicious, Sarah is firmly putting her hat in the ring this week lol.

And football to watch tonight, so all in all another day to relish,I put in effort and got rewarded wholly for them.

No time to let the gambling side of my brain get a look in, inspired today by the honourable Flagg making it to 2 years gamble free, a feat to be saluted!!!!

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today, stepping forward never back

Hi mate hope you enjoy your spag bol 😉 I am going to try pay a chunk to my debt when I get paid later this month then the payments to follow can be less.owe a loan and my mum the loan can take time but want my mum to get paid as soon as possible.i

dont like to borrow off my parent's so will pay that back 1st yhe rest can wait. Take it easy mate 😉 Scottyboy watching the footie

betfree tonight.

Morning Diary

So I had a day off yesterday, literally a whole day off, I switched my brain off for the day, just enjoyed the company of my family and the hounds.

I received a text early from a fellow gamcarer who had unfortunately found himself gambling again and sort help, to which I hope I helped to guide him back onto the right path,lesson's learnt and hope to see him use his thread more on the overcoming problem gambling thread, other than that I gave myself a well earnt rest.

Today I woke up refreshed, ready to get back at it,living that is, work later today, I will graft hard and enjoy it, then home to again enjoy the wonderful things life have gifted me.

Cauli cheese in the fridge for supper, my resolve to continue abstaining refreshed by reading a great deal of threads here this morning, gutted I missed the hounourable Steg's two year continued abstinence anniversary,but the best news is he keeps adding to the tally!! fella I salute you!!

Proof again that making the right choice is worth the efforts.

Gambling is a waste of time-money and without it the emotional mind f**k is too left at the door.

This took twenty years of relentless pipe dream chasing to bring me to my senses, So today reading through the many threads which did not get past three posts I find myself thinking,

Does it take total loss to gift recovery??, the knowledge that arresting the punt is more valuable than any gambling win.

Maybe it does, I live in hope that it does not, that folk will see there is another way before the devestation is so great, but as that saying goes

'you can lead a horse to water,but you cannot make it drink'

To anyone reading these ramblings, please take all the help and inspiration this forum gifts to help you make a choice and see there is a brighter future on offer

It is free and never stops rewarding

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Dunc's... another awesome post. As you say, keep taking inspiration from the forum to remain gambling free, that's what I do and continue to do. Regards.. S.A 🙂

Hi Duncan,

No doubt, gambling ruins families, businesses and neighbour hoods.

I want to suggest to you that we all share the same addiction, however, what causes the trigger effects us in many different ways. I believe my main trigger is stress related and the coping mechanism I use for stress fall into the gambling category. However, once I start winning (stress-release) I continue to seek pleasure through greed- i.e compulsiveness (Inducing stress).

The problems I face in my family life are complex and most of which cannot be disclosed on this forum because it isn't down to a simple example.Yes, I love my family! But this silly grip that gambling has had on me is usually triggered by an initial arguement or an important event that leads to that very first punt we all dread.

My point is, you seem to have surpassed the urges and are having a stress free time and no need to relieve any stresses that lead to gambling. For us recent gamblers though, the story is completely different. We are at the initial recovery stages...I would like to point out, I like your support and over the years you have been an excellent read and good at supporting others. The bottom line for me is, there is no quick solution and the things you say are right. At this stage I just want to relax and cope with the mess I have made. I am trying hypnosis again. Lastly, I will pay back the money I owe to family. Money can actually cause problems because now I have none my family have seemed to pull together more.

We have all cried a lot recently and something positive has been revealed;

I am very fortunate to have a family that cares about me and I don't want to screw it up over and over again....

P.S

The job interview I went for was set up by the company that I already work for...They never bothered to cancel it when they realised they didn't need the role to be filled..So, basically Itook a unnecessary day off and travelled to a job opening that was non existent ...To add, the roads were closed and I nearly ran out of petrol because of the diversion... It cost me dearly.

Thanks.

20.01.2014

Fella I wrote a reply to your kind words upon your thread, a thread I pointed out started two years well actually 23 months to the day before my own recovery started, it is testament to you that you keep coming through the doors of recovery,my hope is simply that you stay for a prolonged period to see the results of the efforts of abstinence can gift.

It does come with honest hard effort, you reap what you sow.

Again it doe's not matter to my life if you want to keep chasing pipe dreams, allow your addiction to play an active part in your life, as I wrote I have walked in those shoes, funny thing is I had a list as long as my arm, both arms for all the reasons why gambling was acceptable,a justified presence in my life all the time I went at it.

Today I see it for the great big elephant in my life it was, it restricted my ambition,it deflated my belief,it killed my soul, made my existence very short sighted.

Bottom line is gambling is a complete waste of time.

So yes I am proud of where I am on my short journey, in my 26 months I foolishly gifted my own recovery back to gambling for a three hour long betting episode, the result, I learnt a f*****g lot, mostly that gambling is unacceptable in any form in my life, because like you the next punt would be devestating, not worth it at any odds.

A monkey lives upon my back,we all carry one, it is addiction,it is about how it exists.

Mine bitter and twisted because I can say with honesty that today I am in control of my future, that is the reward on offer.

The price

A CHOICE

abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yet again, your post has hit home... ...This time I am not going to chase any losses or worry about the money. The only thing left is my relationship and personal problems. I, like many, worry about time, especially the time it will take to re build my future. I guess I will have to put a block on this type of thinking, that way I will lead a happier life. The most important point is, I want my family to be happy too...I am skeptical about that final point, because I really cant resolve everything.

Lastly, I over heard that the mind does not hear negatives..So I wont be saying things like, " I wont do that again" The mind will only hear "I will do that again!" Not sure if it is true...I guess it makes sense..If a parent tells a child not to play with fire, a child may well do it....

Realising we have an addiction and the ability to overcome it helps a great deal...Why? Because it sheds positive light on the situation and not the negative.

Thanks

In some ways having not had a bet for a long time can cause its own problems and complacency as i'm sure you can imagine

sadly and with hope i continue to enjoy my recovery a day at a time

hope to keep walking it with everyone who wants to stop gambling

triangle

Evening Diary

Well the forum is busy with plenty of new faces, well some old faces with new threads started, but the two are trying to find a solution to the destruction that is Gambling, the gambling that brings such misery to their lives.

It made me think about that reason we by and large find ourselves here, the losses, the desperation, the self loathing but the common denominator appears to be the lack of funds that finds us seeking new ways to live.

Unfortunately many feel cured the minute funds re appear in their lives and go back at it, with those ever decreasing more devestating effects that come with the gambling losses.

The compulsion to gamble is without doubt an addiction progressive in it's nature, for me the worst of the things is the lack of respect I gave those folk in my life all the time I gambled, they could put up and shut up as far as I was concerned, I demanded sympathy when things went wrong, yet never gave any back, if they had a black cat mine was blacker, I was not interested in anything unless it meant I could have a punt, because my addiction taught me only too quickly to forget the losses I expected folk to do the same.

For me again those folk are the ones most deserving of sympathy and help in overcoming what gambling has gifted their lives, in most cases nothing but misery.

So the next time addiction knocks the door, full of those bull##sh#it promises of riches and forefilled dreams, remember those folk who innocently stand by us and suffer largely in silence.

That is a very sobering thought

I did not place a bet today, instead I grafted hard and without gambling get to keep and enjoy the rewards of my efforts, so too do my loved ones.

Abstinence really is a gift, one we take ourselves but it effects others too in the same positive light.

Abstain and maintain.

Oh and I am yet to see a gambler come to this forum or walk through the doors of my Ga room and say

'Help me I can't stop winning!!!!!!!!!!!!'

I think that might be a long time coming

Duncs stepping forward never back

Evening diary

Well today was a day to enjoy, I read the honourable Bob's thread at silly o'clock this morning before I left for work, which raised a smile and gifted my resolve.

I grafted hard and knocked off by lunch time, then enjoyed an afternoon stroll with Sarah and the hounds,then she popped to visit her parents and I caught 40 winks,I understand the value of the siesta lol.

Had some delicious spanish rice for supper, took the hounds across the hi##lls and watched them chase the rabbits again aqnd gladly in vain lol.

Just read around the forum to further gift my resolve and am feeling good about watching the spanish cup final with my boys.

Total spend today was less than a fiver!

I earnt my crust to boot.

Recovery is at the forefront of my mind, it refreshes me,invigorates me,drives me relentlessly onwards.

Life seems to be there for the taking,truth is it always was, bank holiday on the way,work for me,looking to take full advantage.

Got my eye on filling the freezer with the spring lamb all the supermarkets seem to want to give away!! I feel for the local butcher when they go to war like they are at present,still one mans loss and all!!

No gambling for me today,f**k why would I

The odds of me winning would be found between slim and f**k all.

That knowledge I am proud to own.

Duncs stepping forward never back.