Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Duncan your food sounds amazing. I like nothing more than creating a nice dinner for the family then all sitting round the table eating it. I find this really satisfying. Also been reading a lot of your diary and your stories are inspiring. As you say life is for living and it is a definite better life when we are in control and not gambling.

Hi Duncs,

Just wanted to wish calm day later on today. Funerals are painful gatherings, but never forget that we are there to pay the unconditional love and respect to the soul which sadly no longer with us in body...but will always be there in mind and heart.

Thank you for yesterday. Bless your heart my friend

Hugs,
Sandra xx

Morning diary

Thanks for all your kind words

Yesterday I was enlightened by the service at the funeral, a true celebration of life, a sad occasion but some great memories shared and a sense that the lady is no longer suffering, she was terribly ill for the past few years, the toll of those years plain to se on her husband's face he looked far older than his years, they were married for 32 years testament to love.

From it I took great heart, from it I understand again the true value of life, how precious it is and how I will fight to live mine productively tooth and nail.

Great aswell our joe got to speak with our gp, a fella who helped me no end, I know that he will do his equal best by our joe too.

Funny because addiction tried to hijack the morning, went down the root of, cease the day, have a punt, win enjoy the benefits of its outcome with those you love.

I laughed, and said fella can't you see I am winning you fool!

Because I did win, I got to wake up next the person who I do truly love, I got to tell her I love her.

You can't find that in a bookies, you can throw it into the machine and lose it, for I was very close to doing so.

Work calls shortly, wedding to cater today.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

No bet today.

Hi Duncs,

Lovely post as always, and pleased your Joe has spoken to the GP,

Suzanne xxx

Duncan,

Thank you.

Yes it has to be total abstinstInance for me.

After so many years gambling had become the norm.

Its amazing to look back after 300 days clean and see clearly that gambling and the lies, heartache, terrible decisions and more lies that came with it had actually become the norm.

My good friend has a tattoo which reads, "without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible"

I hope the following makes sense.

All the progress I have achieved in my recovery began at the moment I made the conscious decision to break from that gambling lying destructive norm.

I remember that feeling of sheer determination in my gut in those early days and weeks of my recovery.

The feeling wained and I had urges, temptations and even the belief that I could gamble again as I had in under control now.

Point is, I never can because I would not stop. That's why one day at a time I abstain from all forms of gambling, because if I didn't, gambling and all the darkness that it brought me would again become for me 'the norm'.

And I'm really happy to say that right now I really don't even want to gamble. I don't want to because I like 'the norm' that I have now.

Its not all roses.

Its a grind but it's an honest grind.

Your words influenced my early resolve and shaped my recovery in a way I can't word.

You know how I feel.

Our local protest attracted many thousands in a small town. Many more thousands marched all across the island. We await a responce.

Thank you for being there.

John.

Morning diary

Nt, Suzanne, John thanks for your kind words.

So yesterday I had a day off, a true day off, no contact with the outside world, I got up early walked my beautiful hounds over the frost bitten h#ill, enjoyed watching them seek out the elusive rabbit lol, then home to enjoy some porridge and a day just chilling out. A lazy supper of jacket spuds, lol no washing up and an evening enjoying my beautiful wife's company, early to bed and this morning I feel great!

Refreshed ready to face the week ahead, snow falls outside, not a great deal but no doubt enough to disrupt travel, portsmouth is truly useless at dealing with it in any form! !!

Work later, looking forward to it.

I am first going to continue enjoying the book markman recommended

Oh and the warmth of my snuggled up whippets who snuck in the bed no sooner than sarah left it lol.

Today I won't be waging any of this through any forms of gambling.

I simply have too much to lose.

My name is Duncan McQuilken I am a recovering compulsive gambler

No bet today

Abstain and maintain

Stepping forward never back.

Thanks for the post on my diary Duncs, it is helping me so much to be running the challenge, maybe its the missing piece in my recovery jigsaw. To have feedback from others saying how much its helping them makes me feel so good. I was slightly worried when I put myself forward to run it as I thought what if nobody joins, or am I ready for this. But fortunately its taken off and I am ready and I will see the year out without a slip.

Pompey will be ok, once you sack your manager you will start climbing the table as we have. As for the game I would love to get down, but don't have any concrete plans yet. I won't use the official club transport so I'm waiting on a lad who may be setting up a minibus. If I do get down it would be great to have a pint with you, you have been a huge help to me, epecially in the dark days at the end of 2014.

Thanks Duncan

Frustration at others is one of my many characteristics that i continue to strive to improve through my working of the 12 steps lol. Sometimes as in life i make great strides at other times i stagnate, but that is ok because that is the nature of life itself, when i try to mould the world to my will instead of embracing what will be, i only become frustrated with the things i have no right to control.

I remember my first meeting at GA vividly as im sure you do. There were only 8 people there & it was held once a week. Today we have a regular turnout of approx 35 members spread over two meetings. More people are staying for longer. Will they all succeed... no, but more are & that fills my heart with hope.

I see the AGM is being held in portsmouth this year are you going?

Dan

Dear Duncan,

Many thanks for another splendid post - Wordsworth himself would have had some difficulty in making "the taking of the dogs out for a walk on a hill in the freezing cold" seem as idyllic! You make me want to go out and but a couple of hounds and find a frost hill - although if I did you would have to answer to Rosie who is allergic and hates the cold.

I am honoured that you have followed up my recommendation. Knowing you as I do, though your diary, I think you will appreciate Tressell's wit, intelligent sarcasm (shall we call it satire) and his insight into the brutal capitalist world. Just as you have recognised the tricks employed by gambling companies in keeping the complusive gambler on a leash and through resolute will power and a focus on the important things in life have unleashed yourself; Owen sees that the "everyman" is nothing but a cog in the capitalist machine and that without questioning this and without abstaining from the various desctructive vices which halt our progess, our growth will be stunted and we will remain nothing but cogs.

I do not wish to sound pompous and do not have any specific political alliegance - I just think it is a really good book and one I very much hope you will enjoy!

Take care of yourself and family.

Mark

Hi Duncs,

Just popping in to check that you're still staying strong and maintaining your positivity and focus....

Keep strong my fellow golf ball!

All the best

Ade

Evening diary

Thanks for popping by nt, ade

I am good, recovery gifts life, life today I have lived to it's full capacity.

Worked hard, working again tomorrow morning and then the rest of the day I will rest up and enjoy the company of my beautiful family. I plan on a thursday roast, what could be better?

All this starts and ends by making a life choice

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning Duncs,

It's great to read you are not wasting even one more minute of your life, and I am determined to keep following suit because I choose to.

Have a great gambling free day, you deserve no less.

Suzanne xxx

A thursday roast? not much better than that

enjoy Duncs

tri

Dunc,

Quick post to say well done for being you!!! Thanks for all your advice when I needed it.

Continued best wishes,

Gazza

evening diary.

thanks for all the kind words.

today i grafted hard this morning,got to the wholesalers at silly oclock,then to work and did what was needed,my butcher gifted me a beautiful leg of lamb,so home to do it justice,popped to the supermarket on route, whilst there i got a new phone,great deal,less than i paid before and finally dragged into the 21st century lol.

so now i have a phone i can access this amazing place from anywhere and i can see the screen lol.

so roasted the lamb,put the spuds in with it, had some cabbage,beautiful carrots,swede,parsnips and cauli cheese.

crumble sits in the oven and sarah and i enjoyed a very nice glass of claret.

amazing and great company,set up for a busy weekend now,and darts on tv too boot!!!!

there was always a reason to have a bet in my gambling life,today without doubt there is every reason not to have one!!

recovery did not come nataurally,it takes effort every day,the results are outstanding.

for it i dont deserve praise,i am not a cut above anyone or anything,i am simply a fella who embraces life.

that gift is on offer to all.

abstain and maintain.

my name is Duncs i am a recovering compulsive gambler,no bet today.

stepping forward never back.