Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Thanks for your message yesterday Duncs, hope thst lemsip worked and you are feeling a lot better today.

And hey look at you 480 days of winning in every way. Very well done indeed

Suzanne xxx

Hi Duncs

Hope you are feeling sooo much better today.

Thanks

Suzanne xxx

Evening diary

thanks Suzanne,I am feeling a great deal worse,lol, I layed low all day yesterday,the two long days work over the weekend physically drained me,my chest just got heavier all day.I phoned the quack,he said if I was worse this morning to go see him,this morning a truck had parked across my chest,off to the doc's I have viral pleurasy,had some blood taken to ensure I don't have a bacterial infection and have to rest,he said my chest sounds like someone standing on a box of shredded wheat.

So I have slept on and off,not good at doing nothing,then Sarah arrived home,she opened a door and is bent over double!!!

The rason,well a friend has lent her a cross trainer,to tone up for Greece,so no warm up or warm down!!! and fifteen minutes of manic exercise inbetween!!!!

Where is SA or Sandra when I need them lol.

My boss was fine,quite willing to help,long term killer weekends have to be adjusted,as they f**k my body for the following three days,maybe my number two will take more responsibility.

we will see.

In the mean time I will let myself return to full health before returning to work.

As for Sarah,I hope she will learn a valuable lesson,lol the cross trainer well like most I know it can become a great clothes horse lol.

No bet today,why would I.

abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Lol Duncs..bless ya and poor Sarah.
Hope you will feel better soon and can assure Sarah that if she gives at least a week for hard training all aches will go and she will start feeling a lot better and fitter ..god, when i was starting to exercise (cross trainers and everything in the gym went lol) i needed a stick to walk first few weeks 🙂
Maybe that's why i have taken outside jogs on this time round :-)..

Anyway, good to see you in higher spirits, hope they will lift that truck off your chest in a process 🙂

Keep up good work my friend

Sandra xx

Hi Duncs, sorry to hear you are poorly, glad the boss knows to look after you & hopefully you will make a speedy recovery!

Poor poor Sarah, I feel her pain (you know it's bad when it's easier to walk up the stairs than down) & agree the absolute bestest use for a cross trainer (or indeed any such equivalent) is as a clothes horse 😉 Why will girls not believe that men love is just the way we are!

I feel a bit daft telling you this but I'm taking a break for a bit & don't want anybody worrying about me so checking in with anyone that has shown me support over the last few months to say thanks & keep up the good work! I know that you will continue to abstain & maintain - ODAAT

Morning diary

Well sarah has hobbled off to work, don't expect her to last the day, great to see her moving a bit.

My breathing has got easier this morning, happy days. My brain went off into 'right lets get back to work, suppliers, wholesalers. ..'

Then my rational side kicked in, not today, give yourself time to get properly fit and well before throwing yourself back to work.

I have learnt from recovery that taking the right steps and not the quickest route more than often produces the best results.

So I have used my time wisely, logged on here and gifted my resolve.

Today I will gift my body further rest, the best chance for it to recover fully.

But it sure is nice to feel like only the back half of a bus is parked on my chest, rather than the whole thing! !

Another pay day tomorrow, a chance to square away more debt and build a brighter future.

Slow and steady will without doubt be the victor in this race.

All my gambling life I sought instant solutions, often bringing more long term problems.

The gung ho trait many compulsive gambler's seem to share.

I have a better plan, let's all Enjoy the gift of recovery.

The gift that never stops giving.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

You relax and get yourself properly better, it sounds to me like you work way too hard, you deserve a good chill.

For as much as I would have liked to meet you and have a drink with you, I have to say I'm glad I couldn't get down on Tuesday night, great win for you, but shocking for us. I'm off to Cheltenham on Saturday, I must be mad as I've not seen us win away in years!

Keep up the good work.

Phil

Morning Duncs,

Glad to read you are on the mend, as Phil says, take it easy and get well, you deserve a rest and chill out to recharge your batteries lol, and I hope Sarah's aches and pains quickly disappear, looks like she well overdid the cross trainer, she should be doing small steps, to start. and build up m ( a bit like abstaining lol).

Take care and stay safe.

Suzanne xxx

You have hit the nail on the head in that last post Duncan.

I often looked for instant solutions and the end result was always further problems which were always due to gambling to try and fix the problem in hand , the problem was always financial and the truth is the financial problem only ever got worse.

I have personally found out that I was not prepared to tackle the problem head on and usually gambled to try and make it go away , in recovery I have learnt that although financial problems still exist if I deal with them straight away it makes life so much easier , I understand we are in the age of endless credit and wanting the material things instantly , the truth is gambling took away any and every credit line I will ever have and it was only by pot luck I managed to get a telephone contract.

I envy my other friends sometimes who seem to have everything in the material world , I am jealous that gambling took away my chance to borrow money to buy a house , nice car , better holidays etc.

However I am thankful and much happier in everyday life knowing I am two months into recovery you cannot put a price on that , the rewards that come with recovery are priceless.

I hope you get better soon Dunc and thank you for your continued support in my diary , words do not do justice to the resolve you have given me.

Duncan,

Waking up this morning to find your post waiting for me gave me a beautiful feeling. I drove to work this morning with a big smile on my face and not one isolated thought about ruining my best run to date.

This is a unique club. I know the doors are open to all, but sadly not all walk through them and stay inside. Like you, I am going to be one of the 3%. I know you know to what statistic this refers.

Whilst we are all equal here, I very much respect and look up you as a person and have no hesitation in saying that I aspire to acheive what you have done both in quitting and improving yourself as a person. I have no doubt in my mind that there are dozens of people on this site who would second this.

Whatever damage, like me, you may have done to those around you in the past, I am sure that you are more than making up for it by giving the "you" back to your family and through the countless people on this forum that I have witnessed you help over these past few years, myself included.

There are 21 metaphorical guns blazing in my office as I type in salutation of you as a man in recovery and as just a downright decent person! I hope you and family benefit form what this deserves.

I really hope you recover from what has been ailing you this week. This world needs people like you to be at their best.

I cannot be any more sincere than this and if this post gives you a fraction of the lift that yours has given me today then I am happy.

Best wishes as ever,

Mark

Hi Duncan, many thanks for your comments in my diary, my viewpoint through much of my 57 years on this planet, has been narrow and resticted. I realise I need to change my ways of thnking. This I know will be very tough, having a narrow viewpoint on money etc, etc, for all of my life, save save, no spending. I know I need to work on this, and also be kind to myself, which is something I am having difficulty with. Please keep throwing points/prompts at me, they are helping me - Thank-you

Morning diary

Wow, my resolve massively gifted by your kind words and to boot I woke up without sounding like an old car kicking into gear!

Popped into work yesterday, just to ease myself back into the swing of things, no nasty surprises awaiting, today I won't be going in until the afternoon today, I know by putting myself first, everything else benefits.

So payday yesterday, the bills furnished, a few quid spare, as always addiction vying for attention, it pleaded with my mind, offering a'FUN' filled time where of course I wouldn't be able to stop winning! !! Oh the joy it offered my mind, to escape into my own little fantasy and low and behold leave it with overflowing pockets of money, pink, purple, brown and blue notes all from the till of the bookies, all addiction told me on offer for just me! !!!!!!!

I listened to it's plea, listening is a gift of recovery.

I let it state it's case.

Then I deliberated, cogitated and gave my verdict.

Mr addiction, member of my mind.

Fella I have danced to your tune, I have followed your dance, I hung on to your every word, the promise of never ending wins, of all my dreams coming true, of how deserving I am to have you in my life, because you are my provider.

For twenty years you pulled the strings, you tempted me, teased me, titillating my mind offering the unobtainable.

What did I give you?

Well progressively I gave you my all, you became my purpose, my reason for being, you engulfed my mind, you captured my soul, you led me a merry dance, all in anticipation of the big one, the hallowed, holy grail.

My reason for the unconditional commitment to you, yes you promised the JACKPOT! !!!!

My mode of poison, the fobt.

The jackpot five hundred pounds, a monkey.

A figure that I could feed into your heart in five spins, less than three minutes entertainment

For more than a weeks hard graft.

I gave you everything and a f*****g great deal more in search of a monkey! !!

You have the gaul, the brass neck to still hang around, like a bad smell and you still spout the same old s#h#ite!!!

Well my old friend, today I won't be partaking in your offer, so you can pi##ss off back to the darkest recess of my mind and wallow in your own self pity.

Because I found recovery, it is true, it doesn't lie, it is loyal, it doesn't run at the first signs of trouble, it doesn't turn it's back on me when I don't have money, it offers constant solutions to life, it offers all this and more, it asks for nothing but commitment in return.

As I wrote before, addiction you can stay in my mind, because it's two fold, I can see you, I can watch your every move and secondly if your in my mind, maybe just maybe you are not f*****g with someone else's.

I was weak, I admit that, you played me like a banjo for twenty years.

But today my man I hold the key.

I am an ADDICT, today I choose to be a recovering addict.

With that choice I stand proud.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Lovely post as always,

Pleased to see you are well on the mend.

Take care and don't overdo it at work lol.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for your kind words of support Duncs.

You know only too well that the feeling is mutual my friend.

It took me 7 years, but it was worth it.

You, my friend are an inspiration not only to me. But to so many people on this forum.

Golf balls and no sand.....

Keep strong

Ade

Evening diary.

Well just home from work.

Long day and not too many hours and I will be back at my stove.

Tonight the harsh reality of addiction written in dark days first post.

Sweetened by the joy of Ade reaching three months continued abstinence and Ginger hitting 100 days gamble free today!

Gentleman I salute you, your living proof that addiction can be faced, no matter how many times it fooks us over, no matter how much damage it has waged, recovery can gift us the opportunity to make amends for our shortfalls, it simply gifts us LIFE.

Dark times, I hope you take the amazing power of recovery, it's on offer, you just have to want it more than you want to feed addiction.

My mind today compelled to embrace all recovery offers.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.