Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Yet more inspirational posts Duncs, you really have a way of putting things into a perspective that works for me and makes sense. My light is turned on and I can see what I have to gain.

Phil

Thanks for the supportive post mate.

Keep strong and keep looking after all your golf balls.... ;0)

All the best

Ade

Thanks ever so much for your post on my page mate.i am more than willing to fight on with this battle.i hope this mistake will make my recovery stronger.it hasnt put me under major pressure which I am glad of,so I will struggle on next few days until pay day on wed.i have plenty of access to money ie friends,overdraft and family but I have stopped just in time to sort this small blip in my recovery out myself.i never gambled today and wont gamble tomorrow so my recovery rolls on to winning ways. Scottyboy

Hi Duncan, right now I am fighting not to gamble, but to cling to my sanity after finishing with this addication; as you know when you iniatially quit for good, the pain is unbearable. Posts like your's give me hope and I guess from the response on here others too. I want to be like you down that long road I have to travel now, gamble free. Keep posting - Paul

evening diary

wow thanks for all your kind words.

So today was my last of three days off,spent it wisely.

Wandered with Sarah and the hounds this morning,a couple of hours and a good few miles,good way for me to justify my mini egg consumption,lol,even better for my mind,these past few days have been a true gift to my wellbeing,a few days to further steel my thoughts,keep my mind focused on life,recovery and all the important things I have,the truly priceless gifts life has bestowed upon me.

We shopped for supper,got some beautiful cod fillet that we spotted was on offer on the fish counter and we did it justice,delicious it was.

just watched a film to round the time off.

bed now,work tomorrow.

that can wait till tomorrow.

snuggling to do first!!!!!!

No visit from addiction today,the therapy gifted has meant the lock remained on the door.

I know he will come knocking,I am armed and ready.

abstain and maintain.

as all those ridiculous adverts keep reminding me.

Retain the FUN!!!!!!!

thanks mr bookmaker I did.

without staking a single penny you should have seen what I won!!!

Funny the irony is through gambling the only outcome would have meant it would have been lost.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.

Back to work this morning not before the hounds get there morning walk,had a lay in,the company too good to want to get up!

I have my usual monday off,happy days!!!!!

Not a penny will be waged on any forms of gambling because I simply don't want to stake what I have to lose.

the value of it is not worth the risk.

plus gambling is a total waste of time!!!!!

abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

evening diary

odaat,thanks for your kind words,they do mean a great deal,see in my army like at work I value everyones opinion,f**k I spent a lifetime thinking 'it's my way or the highway' truth is that breeds nothing but ignorance.

So back to work,things needed tweeking to re establish the standards we are judged by,funny a few days off and the troops at work seem to do the same lol,I am not in so they switch off too!!!lol my foot got swung,they know better and took the boot in the right way.

The boss stood and watched me cook tonight,lol he fancies himself as a cook,but lacks the passion for what it takes,he is a great consumer though,lol,he left happy,a fish pie under he coat lol.

So the clock ticks down to my next shift,six and a bit hours and the stoves will be fired up,sunday roast on the go.

some incredible english rib to roast,the butcher proving his worth again,making my day a pleasure.

We try to go the extra mile on a sunday,our busiest day,a day I come alive,my body suffers fatigue but never fails my minds want.

I am truly saddened by what steven2105 wrote tonight,I have walked in those shoes,fella there is a light at the end of the tunnel,yes there is darkness to negate,twists,turns and many pitfalls,but there is help out there,I sincerly hope you embrace it.

Gambling,the compulsion to gamble leaves much damage even in recovery,but those scars became part of my life.

I am not ashamed of them,the only shame would come if I hid them,gifting them to addiction,who wants them cut open,so it can bleed me dry.

my options in life are founded on the knowledge I have.

give to addiction that relentlessly takes all I give and is never satisfied.

or seek recovery,it freely gifts me and in return wants nothing except my ongoing commitment.

to which I am all in.

abstain and maintain.

Right lights out!!!

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs,

Thank you for being you and sharing.

Suzanne xxxx

evening diary.

Well I woke after a few fretful hours shut eye to a feeling that my lungs were somewhat under water,I got myself to work,ground through my day,very busy and dufficult at times,testing lol.

but by half four I had sold out of roast.the boss delighted.

Home now,super hot shower,lemsip and bed.

my heads pounding,my lungs sore.

My thoughts are of Stephen2105

fella my hope is your safe and well,that you navigated the storm in your mind.

Abstain and maintain,

Duncs stepping forward never back.

No bet today.

hi Dunc's, by the time you read this I hope the lemsips will have worked. You posts are great inspiration to finally quit & stay away from gambling, if i may ask, what was the timescale for you after the losses you suffered when you began to feel better (not so sad from the financial damage a gambler causes), like there was some positivty in your life.

lost my life.

fella the truth is I will never fully get over the losses through my compulsion to gamble,many of them not financial but emotional,they are today reminders of the utter devastation I self gifted through my progressive feeding addiction.

regards feeling better, I remember about three weeks into recovery that a fella in my GA room said as he often did(rip Dave.x)

'all we are asking you to do is not have a bet'

I got on the bus home and cried,why?

because the answer was there,that day and those words hit home very hard.

Dave was not addressing me but a new member who was counter acting all the good advice being given,the old 'I get in the zone' 'gambling gets me in a bubble'

I took from those words this.

I was no longer bringing damage to my life,yes I had a mountain of debt,yes I had a great deal of bridges to rebuild.

but that day I knew I had the ability to cease control,there was an uprising in my rational mind,it took the reigns from addiction.

stopping gambling did not make me feel better,change made me feel better.

embracing recovery 100% gifts the opportunity to bring change.

I had not liked what I saw looking back in the mirror for more than twenty years,my view distorted,hatred had looked in and shame had looked back.

recovery addressed this.

Embrace it,give recovery all the time and effort you gave addiction,if it doesn't improve the opportunity for you to live a better life,I would be shocked.

Abstain and maintain.

Duncs stepping forward never baĉk.

Excellent post. GA meetings also brought a realisation for me. Everything you say above is spot on.

Dear duncan.

Again I really enjoyed your last post.

I thank you from afar every time.

On my first night at GA, after the meeting a great character called michael, seeing how shook I was and how troubled I was,walked towards me, pulled my head to his chest and said firmly

"work at it son, you have to become successful at your recovery, and trying to become successful at something without putting the work in is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted".

I thank michael every Tuesday night.

Words are powerful vibrations.

My name is john and I'm a compulsive gambler in recovery since 02/04/2014.

Duncs.

Well done on 480 days of recovery my friend.

And another great post from you, to galvanise my own recovery.

Keep strong

Ade