Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

lol... nice post.

I shall join you in swatting addiction with a big swatting thing!

Happy days... S.A 🙂

Hey Duncs!

I heeeeaarrrr yaaaaaaaaa 😀

Let's have a disco! Lol..whatever century that came from..and here is me blabbing about raves with a glow sticks lol

http://youtu.be/GSi4HE0OBcA

whoop whoop tra la la la lol

S xx

o*g just found a brand new world i was missing all 29yrs 😀 lovvving it is not a word!!!! Yeeehhaaaaa 😉

Ps. Just keeping the pparty going 😉 you started so no objections mister 🙂

Love this song!..not so sure about the moves tho :-0

http://youtu.be/ob9sDpmRuqc

later my friend and keep that smile planted on your face for today and every day 🙂

Morning diary.

Sandra you made me smile with the musical choices sunday, mind you I would have struggled to throw any moves by the close of play, I was spent.

Yesterday I switched off from the world, no phone, no Internet, just me and my family.

I jet washed the back garden, f**k there's a patio under there lol, jet washed the garden bench, bbq, chiminea, conservatory, it gleams! !! I wandered with the hounds until they were exhausted, cleaned the house, snoozed and cooked up the turkey for supper, no crackers! !! But trifle and a plum and cherry crumble t**t, oh and cornish cream!

Watched the cup game with the boys and then bed.

I had a wonderful peaceful deep contented sleep.

Today back to work later, doctors this morning, my elbow is still deeply painful and for 9 days it has got persistently worse.

Addiction is know where to be seen this morning, I reckon he saw the brick my rational brain is wielding and thought better of it.

Without doubt a day's timeout providing my resolve a renewed energy.

So mothering sunday this weekend, another busy day on the cards, the kids are treating their mum to a day at Thorpe Park, glad I am working it's this mans nightmare! !

Like recovery I like both my feet planted firmly on the ground! !!!!!

So today I sign off with some words mr.r.nesta.marley gifted me.

The sun is shining the weather is sweet, make you wanna move your dancing feet.

Abstain and maintain.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks for the great post Duncs I was in such a bad place 101 days ago but you didn't stop trying to help me, your words of wisdom helped get me back on track. Today I choose recovery, my email and Twitter is busier than ever with free money offers, but we all know where that ends. It seems despite being self excluded and opting out of emails they still send them.

Look after yourself Duncs, hope the doctor can give you something to sort your elbow out.

Phil

Lovely inspiring positive post Duncs,

Hope you got your elbow sorted out at the Docs,

Take care and stay safe.

Suzanne xxx

Evening diary

Thanks for the kind words, Phil you are again proof that recovery really is a gift, I am so pleased you have embraced it, the rewards are ceaseless.

So went to the doctors I have bursitis, caused by the impact of the fall I had, tomorrow I return for a steroid injection as I struggle with ibuprofen, I took tablets for a long time called brufen r****d and weakened my stomach greatly so taking tablets is a real problem today.

The doctor tried to sign me off, I refused, sitting at home is not good for my mental health, so I just work through it.

Busy day today, and off to the suppliers early in the morning, preparations for mothering sunday will commence tomorrow.

I have managed to avoid the newspaper's so far this week, too much propaganda regarding all the FUN on offer through the racing festival occurring this week, just looking at the covers is enough for me, all offering free bets, no doubt that the bookies are looking for their next batch of victims.

For me gambling is a former escape route from life, but one which sought to gift a profoundly negative effect upon my life.

Today I choose recovery, something that never ceases to amaze me by its generosity.

For it I will be eternally grateful.

Abstain and maintain Duncs stepping forward never back.

Not sure if I'm still in late night or I'm edging in to early morning now. Anyway, sorry to hear you've not been well Duncs, I know ibuprofen can affect some people's stomach linings, one of my friends used to take it too regularly, and now it hurts him to take it so he has to use paracetamol instead.

Don't really get to see newspapers too often, I generally don't look when I go to the supermarket, just the occasional rag knocking around work from time to time. What's fun for some ain't fun for us.

Ryan

Afternoon Duncan,

Thank you for thinking of me. Very much appreciate your post, not just the fact that you wrote, but also what you say.

I have just reviewed my thread which looks a right state!

Anger followed by silence. The usual pattern!

As it so happens, about 10 minutes after I wrote my last post my computer was disconnected as we were moving offices. Bad luck for me the IT guys cannot find any internet connection in my new office and so I have been without internet access for over a week and hence no access to the forum.

I have typed this on my phone and has taken 15 minutes so far!

Will check back in after the weekend when up and runnig again.

Things still on track. Working hard and wife enjoying day out shopping.

Best wishes to you and family.

Mark

Thanks for the comment on my diary Duncan.

Not sure its what folks on here believe or want to hear. But hopefully a few will get the message eventually.

Enjoy your weekend

Dan

Morning diary

I typed a post in the small hours, got to sending it and pressed the off button lol.

Plunged into a sonic abbiss! !!

So the chef who returned from holiday on Thursday went sick yesterday, I will carry the slack for the next couple of days.

Put in a grueling shift yesterday, I was hoping to get off early but not to be.

I had a list as long as my arm, dark chocolate tarts, salmon terrines, trifle sponges, bases, salmon en croute and on and on, I broke it's back, the only disruption a lot of shouting from one of the bars, folk watching the racing, f**k I thought it was a fight! !

I just smiled, I won again without staking a single penny.

Off to work now I hope to get home for a few hours kip tonight, we'll see! !

If not there's always tomorrow.

Made possible by making the right choice

Abstain and maintain

Sarah is on route to Thorpe Park, a mothers day treat from the kids, I hope they have fun.

Enjoy your weekend one and all, tomorrow I pay homage to two of the three most important women in my life.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.

So I made it through the weekend, yesterday was extremely busy, lots of families enjoying each other's company, thanking their mums for there presence in their lives.

I have three equally important women in my life, my own Ma, my soulmate sarah and our daughter lily.

They gift a great deal of joy and bring unconditional love to my life, all of which I today understand how close I came to gambling away.

Addiction consumed my life to the point where it had become more important than those three amazing people.

Today I work hard to return that unconditional love, unhindered by addiction, bolstered by the act of recovery.

So the week ahead brings our first borns 21st birthday, on Friday our Joe comes of age, in truth he became a man many years ago, his life I am honoured to share with him, his knowledge, creativity, humility, passion astonishing, I am truly proud to be able to call him my Son.

So as of Thursday I have a week off, using up the outstanding holiday entitlement before I lose it.

This threw my mind into turmoil, my people pleasing trait wanting me to throw caution to the wind and work as it is busy, something I wouldn't have hesitated in doing throughout my life, to put others needs before my own wellbeing and the consequences of which often led to low self esteem and of course escapism stood with the door wide open.

So I will embrace my rest from work, because firstly I need a break, secondly I have good reason for some down time.

By putting my needs in equal measure will long term be rewarding for everyone, because I understand what living in harmony with my own mind gifts not just myself but all the folk I have in my life.

More over the reason I would sacrifice holiday time for many years is simply because holidays couldn't be funded, holidays took funds away from my functioning purpose in life.

To exchange at the first opportunity all my hard earned into 'gambling tokens'

Futily to chase the unachievable dreams addiction cast.

Looking back at my gambling life I can today see I actually more often than not had all the finances I needed, I foolishly relentlessly gambled them rather than enjoying there power.

Today recovery has taught me the true value of a pound note, I fully respect the power it has and how easily it can be wasted.

Today I seek to learn all I can, to embrace the life I am offered

I know how close I sailed to destroying it.

So my battered, worn out body has risen early this morning, did the housework, wandered across the hi#ll with the hounds, mr blue delighted at the early opportunity to aimlessly chase his nemesis, hovis as usual dug up a lovely rock which like on many other occasions Brought home to add to the growing collection that form a makeshift rockery for the heather lol.

Still every cloud and all, the rock proceeds to serve a wonderful purpose each time he gets one, he can't feast on the foxes dooo!!!!!! Lol.

Later I am cooking supper for everyone, lazy day lol, steak and chips with a little peppercorn sauce the order of the day.

Again all this made possible because today I choose to embrace recovery.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Evening diary

Just in from work, the boss handed out to all the kitchen staff a cash bonus for their efforts over the weekend which was nice, makes everyone valued.

Life today for me simply carries that in abundance, I hold the decisions I make with high regard, to have founded a huge part of my adult life upon lies and deciept to feed addiction became a structure I couldn't see a way out of.

Recovery offers a chance, a choice, an overwhelming sense of wellbeing is born through this.

To halt the wrecking ball of addiction took me to live a seriously destructive life for many years before I sought another solution.

That solution starts and ends through my wholehearted belief in recovery, recovery is a gift, one which could so easily be given back to addiction, the opportunity to gamble presents itself in many manifestations, the truth is that opportunity will always arise.

My triangle time-money-location works, that gift given unconditionally on my first GA meeting, it is a practical way to ensure that the scales tip in my favour.

Ironically addiction always offered to tip the scales in my favour, but never did, I relentlessly fed it, in return I was burdened with huge shame and guilt, but actively sought to feed it

Why????

Because I am a gambling addict, whilst active nothing will stop my desire to feed addiction, I gambled to within a day of losing myhhouse, my family. Long before that I cashed in my self esteem, my passion for life, my respect for life.

I know today how fragile life is, how many contending factors in my own life effect the outcome of the events of each day.

Some I hold control of, others I don't, but the world is simply a better place through abstinence, through embracing recovery I can gift myself opportunity, an opportunity to understand what winning feels like.

The thing addiction fooled me into believing it would reward my efforts with.

With that I am yet to meet anyone who's problem is they can't stop winning through gambling.

That will be a long time coming.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Ever the reminder why i need to keep away from that first bet

thanks duncs

keep coming with that honesty

Great inspiring post as always Duncs.

Suzanne xxx