Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

...He shall overcome...He shall overcome.......and

you did and still do ....keep on keeping on...

Hugs and spice and all things nice...

Full circle and beyond to 360

R and D ...the northern western bolt ons..xx.(and yorkshire alliance)xxxxx

Good Morning Duncs

What a post to read first thing, 6 months bet free ohhhhh my i had such a HUGE grin reading that!

Well Done does not really say enough but i'm so proud to been on this journey with you 😉

Your zest for life now continues to shine through as as ever having Sarah and the kids by your side makes it all the more enjoyable

Duncs glass is defo half full and may it continue like that

Hope your not too busy in this good weather as i know the kitchens are a B*****r in the heat, one of the reasons i got out lol lol

Keep Strong dunc , i know you will and thanks for making my day start with a HUGE smile and one filled with determination to continue on my bet free journey!

Smiling HUGE Lucy

Hi Duncan, thank u 4 ur support on my diary. It means alot 🙂

A huge well done on 6 months gamble free, u r doing brilliant!

Ur determination shines thru, and u have ur soul mate Sarah and ur children 2 keep u strong. U should be soooo proud of urself 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Ahrrrrrrrrrrr,

That post you wrote to me yesterday , I must of read 10 times .

Nearly brought me to tears .

You have given me the same in buckets to use one of your expressions , and for that I respect and thank you .

I hope that our friendship last many a year to come cause I feel the same , your always in my shadow helping me stay strong , respect my man respect ....

You know though when I read your posts yesterday the thing that has started to leap out at me , is you talk about your glass being half full, which I know has been the main stream in your thinking to getting to grips with this crazy crazy addiction.

But the way I see it without those gambling googles , that to be honest you stamped on , within the first day or two of you recovery. Your glass looks 3/4 full to me , if not more , cause with the wonderfully support of you family you drip, drip , dripped into it for over 6 months , gonna need a one bigger soon , or maybe a bucket , or even a wheely bin .

Biggest of hugs to you , .............

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Afternoon diary.

Well i am a melting LOL today must be the hottest day of the year and over the lunch service what do you think was the top seller?? The cold cured meats and cheeses NO the Chicken and ham hock pie with mash and liquor!!!!!!!!!!! they must be mad LOL

Well today had a late start so sarah and I walked a few miles to a market not to buy, just to enjoy each other oh and Hovis ever faithfull and loved the walk, well the little pet shop we found and the rabbits ears he got!!! LOL

then off to work of which on the way i stopped off to buy myself a telescopic fishing rod,going to spin for some mackeral in my break a couple of times a week(Bring on the fish jokes round 3) I think it will be a great way to grab a couple of hrs time for me,something in this quest I must get used to time alone and i enjoy it, nice to know it does not have to be in a bookies!!!!!

Hope you are all enjoying the days weather I am off to catch half hr in it pre dinner.

Gamble free!!!!

Duncs steppingforward never back Cornetto in hand!!!!

DMac,

That was a lovely post to read. You deserve it all. You have worked hard at your life and you deserve all the happiness you have experienced over the past six months.

Tomso.

evening diary. Today diary i had a great day with my wife well early doors as work was where i was at straight from lunch through till dinner, a service which saw the fridges wiped out, empty! Then home, well after a chat with the owner, who waxed lyrical about how i give my all each day and that he envies my outlook on life, my half full glass outlook, my relentless quest to make tomorrow better than today, well i will tell all here what i told him, today i dont lie, dont need to, dont because today i live for what i have, yes it in a pipe dream could be better, but in truth it aint half bad. And why because each day i make an effort to learn, to listen, to take the s**t and feed the roses. Most of all i care about the wellfare of all mankind and this my point, as a compulsive gambler at it i damaged all around me and more and did not care, today gamble free i cant change the past, but gamble free i can change the future and will run hard at it to do so, i hope today to help who needs my help for what in return. Nowt! In life i stole too much from innocent folk, for that please accept my appology, and know i just want to give. Because i can. Duncs stepping forward never back.

morning diary. I spent yesterday re building the fridges with fresh stock, a long rewarding day which saw further more customers, of which 4 were not happy, there comments were hard to fathom and a bit soul destroying in one sense, but from another point of view they were unfounded. I conclude life is like recovery, the cap does not fit all, there is no universal recipe for success, opinions count but ultimatly we have to forge our own. Today will i beat myself up, make change no, what i put out at work is a direct reflection of me and i accept that for the most this gives a pleasant experience. In my life i will do the same, continue to give my all to life, my life and i know i wont be accepted by all, but again i stand tall, stick in hand beating a path toward that light, in doing so i will continue with the steps programme i find enlightening, i will accept the things i can not change and continue to live with a purpose a passion for life. Last night i popped to ga after service for a top up of that medicine, which helps with focus and today just for today i will make my choice NO BET. Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning Duncs,

Thank you for your post on my diary. What you say makes a lot of sense. I will definately be staying close to my diary and this site over the coming days and weeks as know that I need it as part of my recovery.

Great to read that you continue to do so well in your recovery.

I hope that you have a great Friday.

Best wishes

Dave

Another great post my friend.

I always stop by for my top up of positivity from you my good sir so i thank you for that.

I think as we move forward our confidence grows and along with that some self belief, your right we cant please everyone , but we try our best and give it 100% and you cant ask more than that.

Enjoy your weekend duncs, Im off down south today for the weekend see what all this olympic hype is about.

Blondie 🙂

Duncs....

I don't know what to say. I think i'm having some sort of breakdown and am telling my friends to keep away from me as Im lashing out and feel under massive pressure.

I am stuck and can't get past this...I thought time would heal but it seems to be getting worse.

I really want the same recovery as you all but its not happening and each morning the same blackness is there no matter what I do to distract myself.

I was trying to protect you...you must keep on your path....

I am in no mans land...I need an outlet for this but also i am aware of the effect that may have on readers...the last few days I shouldn't have posted ...I should have gone to the pub or something but I was exhausted after long drives and so angry again.

I saw the bank this week...I am going to have to get rid of my home..again due to my previous life...my money has all gone and it just made me feel stupid again at not saving myself earlier.Its another loss and I cant cope with any more and that has tipped me over the edge.My ex earns nearly 3 times my salary and can claw back very quickly.

I am scrabbling round for a plan.Im not rejecting anyones help but right now I can't absorb anything anyone says to me..as i have turned into a wild animal as my back is against the wall.

I am kicking off at my friends and pushing them away too.

They are annoyed that i'm not telling them stuff "earlier"...

My friends have their own troubles and they normally come to me to offload so I don't want to talk to them or my family as they think i'm "over" this...My diary is my only outlet...I work on the road alone....I go in do my stuff...come home alone and then am so exhausted that i cant see my friends who live 10-20 miles away .When I moved with my ex I moved 100 miles away..and lost touch locally here...i'm in the sticks.My boyfriend does not live near me.

I cant escape from my head.

Keep focussed and keep on keeping on ..im sorry for occupying your diary here.

Rachel xx

Hi Duncan,

Just popping in2 say I read some of ur kind posts last nite, they made me smile. U r such a caring true person Duncan. U, Sarah and ur family deserve every happiness. Keep being u 🙂

Have a gr8 day 🙂

Duncs....

I was worried about you the most...even though i know your strong..i'm worried about people not posting on the forum and i'm sure they are self protecting which is good...

I am under tremendous pressure right now and have a lot of things to put in place.I am now nearing my rock bottom ...part of me feels relief and part of me feels rage as this is not a rock bottom through soley my own f***k ups..,,If it was i'd take it on the chin.

I feel i'm being punished because I loved someone...and the consequences are overwhelming.

Enjoy the sun...'. truly I love to see you stepping forward....I need to see it even though some days it hurts

Rachel xx

afternoon diary.

a quick post as first half of the day over, had a civil ceremony for a couple of chaps, now there has been a few nervous moments leading up to today the owner was worried about what folk would make, well folks let me tell you what they should make is two people today who genuinely look so happy, and for me the very best to them, they enjoyed there meal and had a super upsidedown wedding cake to finish. 6 months ago I would have led the jokes made a pre concepted view of the event, today i wont and dont judge, today my job is as there chef and i cooked my socks off,we have a role to play in life of that i am sure and today i feel i further stepped toward mine.

My joe is at bestival performing and from that has scored a job on wednesday at the round house to perform off the back of his performance yesterday, I cant tell you the pride I feel and really do hope it does keep rewarding him as he gives it his all.

and finally on to Rach a person who has given constantly to this forum has come upon a cross roads I will be there for what i can be a person who will not judge and offer a hand were i can, today i give whole heartedly to all and more so a friend in need, one who i could have been that person who destructed so much of an innocent persons being, just because my sarah stands by my side my soulmate, that does not make me never think of this, to end folks i cant change the past but i will be here to be counted in the future.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thank you Duncan for being there and thank you for giving unconditionally to me despite you feeling very sad and hurt that I wanted to push you all away.

I was and still am in a desperate place.

Have more to say on this on my own diary as wont hog yours too much xxxx

hugs ((((D and S)))

Rachel xx