Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

morning diary.

Feel very sobered by gamcare today, I can feel the pain of a relapse twist it's way through the forum.

I am 288 days today since I had a bet,yes I do get the urges,my brain still tries to convince me that this time it will be different,I am good at gambling a Winner!!

Winner my Ar*e!! well whilst at it anyhow, through recovery abstinance things improve organicly,but I can see the real rewards are ones earnt,grafted for.

Tomorrow our baby boy is 14yrs old (he will always be our baby lol) and I can see were my Sarah is stressed about it,we paid our bills and dont have alot left to lavish on presents,material things.Each year my Sarah gets very worked up at this time of year,xmas coming and the pressure she puts herself under is huge,I believe it stems back to her childhood,A time of envy,to see others recieve things,and yourself not a great deal.

My answer to this predicamant for the past twenty years throw myself into working a ridiculous amount of hrs,result normally ruin xmas through fatigue,oh and to boot when not working I would be relentlessly chasing the pipe dream at the bookies because at it we all know it is simply never enough.!!!!

This year I can see I will make a difference,Yes I will work hard,my industry is always mad busy this time of the year, But this year we will do it together this year I will ensure we enjoy the other things,the things that dont cost the earth,but bring huge enjoyment,I wont be missing,wishing to better it all through those pipe dreams.

Our youngest tomorrow has the perfect birthday lined up in his eyes,the fruits of his season ticket at the park mean tomorrow he will get to see the Blue army,eat a dirty burger and shout and sing(no obsenities of courseLol)and all in the company of his pals.

I can see for the first time in my life what the results of stability bring to a family,they bring a great sense of harmony,consideration for each other and to end a forefilling sense of happiness.

Those things are not available in my bookmakers at any price,money has been the least important factor in this,to listen,learn,consider and use the time in your life have in the last 288 days had a bigger footprint than any win I ever had.

So to end I will enjoy what I have,embrace it for all it is worth,each day I thank myself for commiting to recovery,a compulsion which is turning out to be something special.

So I write from my heart when I say we can do this,one minute,onehour one day at a time to abstain from gambling will deliver us opportunities to live better lives,richer beyond any jackpot on offer.

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncs...thanks for your post on my diary...I didn't manage to read all of your diary yet but your last post was just lovely. You are right, it is not the material things in life that matter. Family and friends are what are really important, it's a shame that for most of us it takes something really awful to happen to realise it. My happiest place in the whole world is snuggled up on the sofa with a blanket with my little girl and husband with a brew in hand. What does that cost?! The price of a tea bag!

288 days is AMAZING...I feel that at the minute I can only dream of being clean for that many days but I am going to make damned sure I try my hardest and give it everything this time. I am a strong person by nature, this is the only thing in my whole life that has brought me to my knees, however I have not been knocked out and I will get back up again and beat this horrible devil that sits on my shoulder!!!

Have a lovely day tomorrow with your son 🙂

Lots of Love

Everyone Deserves A...

Second Chance xxx

Hi Duns,

What a fantastic post I took so much from it, so thank you for that.

Recovery opens our eyes to the things we have missed out on whilst at it.

Today we see a gamble free future, its so bright that we need to wear shades.

Hope your son has a great birthday, its my birthday tomorrow as well and also my youngest daughter she will be 13.

Enjoy your day

Blondie

I wish there was something I could take from that piece of sh#t that the bbc dished up but I cant.

I will wage war upon there ignorance!!!

Duncs

Stepping forward never back

Hey Duncs...

Can feel that passion in you today....I was all set to watch the docu but ended up falling asleep instead...

I'm guessing from your posts that I didnt miss much and maybe the prog has done nothing constructive to highlight the plight of compulsive gambling. ??..wish i'd have watched it now.

Very sad and annoying if this is the case especially at the prime time slot of 8.30pm when good information would have reached a massive audience and perhaps changed lives for the better.

Keep posting ..use that rocket fuel to project even further forwards no matter what ...

R and D xx

Morning diary.

My name is duncan, I am a compulsive gambler No bet since 23/01/2012. Today I woke with a rage, the panorama programme did its best to defend an industry that seems along side our elected government to fail to recognize that there is a growing problem through the addiction that is compulsive gambling.a carpet got lifted and we got swept under it.

To state that we blame everybody except ourselves is a disgusting, false statement and for the corporation that is the bbc to in my opinion freely advertise the fobt is nothing short of ignorance.

Well today I will write to my mp, the bbc and the gambling commission to express my factual opinion.

Not once in twenty years have I been questioned as to my destructive gambling by a member of staff on the thousands of times I was at it. nor have I seen this happen.

I take total responsibility for my addiction, yes I accept I am the one person who ultimately has a choice about my abstinence, so if you want a voice, someone to bang the drum, to enable factual programming to ensue, bbc yesterday you loaded a gun !!! One I hold, my wish to seek acceptance that problem gambling is a devistating addiction, one with the right help can be better dealt with to suit all mankind

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Together we have a voice, I will use mine with honest integrity

Morning Duncs,

I share your rage and was saddened right the way through the programme. What a complete pile of s**t !.

We know first hand the devasation this illness has on people and there families, it spoke nothing about internet gambling and how people can gamble 24/7 in the privacy of there own homes with no control on what they deposit.

The profits they make from those FOBT machines alone and what they contribute back for helping problem gamblers is nothing short of disgusting and shows how serious they take this addiction. NOT !!!.

I will also be penning a letter to the BBC expressing my disgust.

In unity. !!

Blondie

HI Duncs,

Thanks for your post on my diary another light bulb moment for me.

Your so right, it would be unfair of me to go away just like it would be unfair of me not to attend GA and show people that recovery is possible.

Thank you for that.

Blondie

Afternoon diary.

I have just written my complaint to bbc online,a somewhat measured critique of there portrail of the compulsion to gamble,I forwarded a complaint to my Mp regarding the lack of research and recognition of the compulsive gambler and I will keep you gamcarers abreast of any replies,I wish to better the oppurtunities for others in the future,or should I let them wait 20 yrs like me to find out how destructive this addiction is.

Stepping forward never back.

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET today.

well good for you and never hurts to stir the pot when needed. lol hope ya hear a few words from them and all good of course.

Hi Dunc, I share your feelings about last nights program, it sickened me. Firstly it seemed to trivialise the condition and the gambling industry as a whole without accurately reporting on how these leeches are destroying lives, families and society. Firstly the reporter, if anything, through her apparent thrill of winning £7.20 triggered potential relapses up and down the country. Addicts don't need to see that, would they do a documentary on drug or alcohol addiction then show a reporter having a dabble before exclaiming how great it felt, totally irresponsible. Then it showed a cross section of society who were victims. An Autistic lad, a 'greedy banker' and a woman suffering from bereavement. This may infer that only if you are weak in any way will you succumb to gambling addiction. Collectively those watching must have naively thought that society generally then doesn't have a problem. Yet in reality, through clever marketing and advertising the gambling industry is targeting and preying upon everyone, no one is safe. I understand totally the power of advertising having worked in the industry for years whilst in London. You can brainwash the masses to do or buy into anything, to gamble included. Gambling simply wrecks lives and I would be happy for it not to play any part in our society ever again. Other countries do this but it won't happen in this country because there are vast amounts of money involved for business and government. Did the bbc accurately reflect the damage these peddlers push? No where near. Did they accurately reflect the misery it causes people and families? No. Was it brave enough to highlight the greed which runs this industry? No.

Lazy, lazy journalism and a thorough lack of understanding. We're in this alone, fighting our own corner because real help is going to materialise through investigative program's such as this.

Take care Duncs, got that out of my system, good luck with your letter.

Steve

hi Duncs

thank you for your post you all are giving me strength 🙂

as for last night i'm glad i didn't watch the program i totally forgot it was on and by your and Lazarus's post's i don't think i will be watching it on bbc i player like i had planned, you are one clever man!! i no that was a random thing to say but your post's intrigue me, always have very wise words to say,anyways best go and make my fagitas

yummy!!!

Hollie xx

Morning diary.

I was going to rant about the new snake adders but I know the members will see through his posts for what they are, a shame it seems there is always a bad apple.

Off to work this morning, looking forward to it emmensly, going to concentrate on the cooking at work then do paperwork at home this time, a better structure, better quality of life.

Ultimate goal- balanced life

Duncs stepping forward never back

hi Duncs....

I wondered what those posts were all about..; )

balanced life sounds paradise...

forwards not back xx

R and D x

Hey Duncan,

Good to have a bit of time to catch up a bit! Not much though... Thanks for reminding me that programme was on, but yes... I was gutted after watching it. In fact made me want to gamble a bit after seeing all those slots and sounds but the reality of it is I wont!

Not really a programme of shuch to hit home, as you say just another advertisement for the bbc, I bet they didnt even really want to show it, but I guess they know the situation has spiralled way out of control.. Carries on like it is, there will be no more shops on the street, just walk in FOBT's with bullet proof glass for the screens. I admit it did highlight some key factors, however it never really touched the surface on problem gambling, just told us everything we and the rest of the world already knew.

Anyway, it needs to be recognised as a problem, no wonder they scrapped the funding to find out what percentage of us it is now affecting. Anyway, enough about that...

Not caught up on your posts yet Duncs, will do though two days off tomorrow yeeeha!! Cant wait to see what you been up to! Hope work is going good for ya! It is tough at first, getting back into that regime but well, well worth it! And with more money coming in, do not let those temptations come in.

Forwards my man!

Take care, have a good day at work!

JP