I haven't been present on here for a long time. I've been really trying to focus on myself attending counselling through Aquarius and setting some goals for my life.
I've been gamble free for a year before but I know this time round is different. I'm not even entertaining the fact that I'll be able to gamble again it just doesn't go with my personality I'm an all in sort of person pun intended.
What's different this time round? I'm more aware to what gambling actually is, I used to think I saw it as a way to make some extra cash but I was doing it so often it became a habit and money didn't even come it to it. If i won it would be spent on gambling if i lost I'd borrow more money to gamble. Money is still on my mind all the time especially as I'm now in debt due to gambling but I'm thinking of ways I can better myself business ideas, ways I can earn extra cash guilt free so I can get my life back on track and not have this burden of debt.Once I broke this habit I realised it was exactly that a habit one I wasn't in control of. When you've been doing something for so long it becomes routine and it's not pleasureable or essential to your health or wellbeing it seriously time to reconsider. I recently read a book that explains habits. There is 3 stages CRAVING CUE REWARD. CRAVING = a need to gamble. CUE = To gamble REWARD = the buzz i used to get from winning and almost winning. The idea is that we replace the cue with something else. The reward will be different but the idea is to replace it with another hobby or action. I used to hear this a lot but never really understood it until I read this book and realised I've implemented it into my life this way without knowing. My Craving was to gamble when I got the craving I change my cue from gambling to seeking ways to find extra cash and the reward was of course not gambling and finding a new stream of income, which was selling old items on ebay for extra cash.
So I've been doing a lot of reading and trying to find myself and actually what I want from life, 1 thing pops up frequently and it's the fact that I have the power to change, If i'm not happy doing something that i enjoy I can change but there's nothing that'll say it'll be easy.
I've now completed my 12 sessions with Aquarius and I'm feeling strong in myself that I'll remain gamble free. I feel like a different person and my drive is different.
I think I will be using this forum more often now as I'm not having the sessions and I'm concious I've been at the gamble free mark of 1 year before and I will not make the same mistake so anything I feel will help me on my journey I will commit to.
Great post and well done I look forward to seeing more posts as you continue work on improving you life for the better.
KTF
Thanks KTF.
I also forgot to mention I also came completely clean to my partner, my parents and my best friend. I think accountability is soooooooo important and I can't think of anything worse than having to have another conversation with the above because I've relapsed.
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