Day One

Welcome Charlie
You'll get lots of support and help from people on here...
Many have fallen to the online bingo sites. ...and that Win in your early days was like you said....the worst thing to happen....
I could bombard you with...do this ...do that...but i think it's a good idea to read around the diaries. ...take in the practical points to stop you playing in the very early days of not wanting to gamble....ring the helpline....have a chat with them....they won't judge....
You've mad the first step coming here....take one day at a time...
I'm sure some of the other regulars will be along soon to say hi.....
Probabally having a Sunday afternoon snooze !
Take care love x

Thank you for responding loxxie, very kind of you. I've started to read through other peoples diaries and I'm feeling abit over whelmed, not sure if it's because I can finally say it out loud or because I can see so many people in a similar position to me and don't feel as alone now or if it's that it's been a very draining, long day. I will continue to read other people's journey.

Thank you again x

Hi Samson,

Thankyou for taking the time to say hi and welcome me.

The loss of money and mess I got myself in is very hard to switch off from, To realise how much money I've wasted over the years, I could of had so much more than I do now, but also realise in some way I could have much less.

I hope this message finds you well on your journey.

C x

Hiya Charley, welcome to the forum! Hopefully you'll find support, love and encouragement like I did! I see that your main point of gambling is online, have you put all blocks in place to stop yourself? Probably the best thing I've ever done! Although I have no urge if I does come then atleast I know I have no way to get onto the sites! It's a long road to recovery, but hopefully all of us here can beat it together.

Hi freesoulxo,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Yes, I've blocked myself off the online sites, something I did before I signed up on here, as I knew it wouldnt just be as simple as blocking myself and that I'll need encouragement and support. I've seen this site is great for that, so that makes me feel a little better.

It's weird, I can walk past a bookies, fruit machine etc and it doesn't bother me at all, don't want to put any money in them. But online it's too easy, like the money isn't real because the money isn't in your hand, if you understand what I mean. I'm feeling a little emotional tonight, think it's a combination of things and the fact that I know I've got a very long road ahead. Thank you C x

Welcome to the forum charlie
Will look forward to reading more of your story as you progress.
Good or bad were all in the same situation.
All the best
Deano

Ah that's great, it's a big step but it means that you are really willing to change your lifestyle! And tell me about it, all of my gambling was online, not interested in casions or bookies or anything, and it was like it wasn't real! Until you get to 3 weeks from payday with no money and direct debits to come out and think oh I've done it again! In my first few days of stopping I was so emotional, just up and down, I think it's just all the feelings colliding together, it's overwhelming, but 11 days on for me and the feelings have just positive thoughts and goals to work towards. Things get better, the light is getting brighter!

Hi Deano 8008,

Thank you for you already support, means so much right now.

C x

Freesoulxo I absolutely get the no money left for the next 3 weeks off the month, awful feeling! I'm 29 and have nothing to show for the two jobs I work, but debt! The shame is unreal, even more so when all your friends are loving life, always buying new clothes, on holiday etc and that should be me, if it's wasn't for online gambling i would have a healthy rainy day fund, but I have nothing! I'm so angry and disappointed with myself. But like you said, hoping positive will come and goals achieved. Huge well done on you 11 day! If I get to where you are right now, I'd feel great, but 11days seems such a long way off right now. C x

Hi Carley

Welcome to the forum, I'm new on here too the internet was my downfall too as it does not seem like real money & you lose all control of reality chasing losses

I know it's tough but you need to do whatever you can to stop any more gambling, self exclude from all accounts for a start

You are still young you can put this behind you & have a great life don't let it drag you down, think positive

I know it will be hard at beginning but it gets better each day, I'm only at day 10 but never want to place another bet again

Samson- I really really appreciate you sharing your story with me, I'm glad you're on the right road now and are staying positive. Awful that the this horrible gambling problem can make you want to take your life, and I'm truly glad you have fought through that huge barrier. I have debts, which will take a while to pay off, but luckily not for ever...if I really stick to 100% paying every penny towards the debt. That side of things is also so mind and life draining. Wanting that one big win to pay off all the debt and telling yourself you'll never gamble again, but as we know it's really not that simple. I think back to the hours, money I've wasted away ...all for nothing! I'm 29, soon to be 30. I want to be 30 and be proud of something because right now I am far from proud of myself. I used to be so outgoing and so spontaneous, happy, life of the party...and to quite honest, I don't recognise myself anymore. 1) I don't have the money to go out 2) my head is always such a mess 3) I never have the energy, due to constant sleepless night and broken sleep, if any sleep! I want, need to be back to myself because I sure don't feel like me anymore and it's an awful feeling.

I'm hoping to feel more positive as the days go on, as I haven't the energy to feel like this anymore, it really is no way to live the one life we get! How many days have you been gamble free, may I ask? Cx

Hi Rich 2016,

Good new here from another newbie. Well done on 10 days!! At the moment, I can only dream of 10days. But you're absolutely right, I can change this around and 100% need to as its no way to life. I'm praying and hoping the days of a clear mind will come, just seems so cluttered at the moment. Thank you for your reassurance and encouragement it's much appreciated. C x

Hi Charley welcome and well done for realising you have a problem. As you are only in the early stages you'll have a number of emotions at the moment ranging from anger about being so "silly" for doing this,regret about the cash etc As you've seen on this site sadly it's more common than you think. You've started well by putting the blocks in place and another trick I seen on here is you can cut up your cards order new ones and scratch off the three digits on the back. It may seem extreme but the more blocks in place the less chance of relapse. Things will still be a bit of a haze but you can beat this. As your employed you can earn any money that was lost and your still young. Keep busy and keep posting on here it's a great way to get your thoughts down and as you've seen already the advice and support is fantastic. Keep it up this is just the beginning! 🙂

Thank you new beginning for your kind words. I was awake at 4:30am, mind racing etc. I do need to get claim back the money I've thrown away by working my a**e off now to earn it back! I will also look into new cards etc. Thank you for your support. C x