day 1

jess2910,

Hi,

I was really touched by your story. Please don't give up and give yourself a chance to change you life.

Remember you can get the money back, however, you cannot get back the time you lost with your kids, that's gone and can never be retrieved. trust me I know..

I have lost so much through gambling, most of all my family, son, sisters, mum, friends. Its now my aim to get those relationships back.

Your correct, your only young and have time, take this chance with both hands and don't give in or let go of hope my friend. Put blocks on your laptop, speak to your partner, give up all access to funds. If you have no funds you cant gamble, FACT. If your partner loves you they will understand and help you with your struggle. Keep a diary it helps to see your improvement.

Please don't make the mistakes I have made, this is your chance *** it my friend and stay strong for you and your family.

Kick a demon today

Love peace

thanks so much for your advice and words of encouragement. My partner has put blocks on the laptop and my phone now and set the password so i can not access it, ive spoken to netlive and they have referred me to a coucilling service and if im honest ive spent a lot of time today reading through other people diaries to get inspiration and motivation and it really has helped.

today is day 1 and already i feel different its unbelievable im relaxed (to a certain extent) im not snapping at my son for nothing and ive actually spent some quality time with my children. If i can achieve this in less than 24 hours imagine what a week, a month, a year will bring.

my goal is to be 1 week gamble free...thats my aim for now small steps. after that week i intend to buy something for my children ( a toy or clothes) its been so long since i did that and i can not wait they deserve it.

i know im rambling now im sorry for that but i figure id rather ramble on here than be putting money into an online site. Just for today i wont gamble

Hi Jess,

I don't know if this helps but I'm on day one today as well. I will write my own diary entry, but just wanted to wish you well and lets hope we can both stick to being free of gambling.

Hope the cakes turned out well, sounds like a great thing to do on a Sunday. All the best and good luck, Granite

Hi Jess,

well done for giving it a go to stop gambling.

The first and most important step is done,

you opened up and that's great and it takes a lot as we all know.

Already you have realised that goals are an very important aspect for your recovery to succeed.

And your last sentence is exactly the way you should look at it and not expecting to much of yourself "Just for to day I won't gamble" .

Your kids will love you for spending quality time with them, don't put yourself under pressure with what you want to buy them, to not falling back into old habits.

Time will do the rest for you as long as you just every day say again "Just for today I won't gamble"

Stay strong and all the best

Wolfgang

thank you granite and wolfgang for your words of encouragement and support. today is day 2 and im again feeling positive. my partner and i had a long chat last night and decided it would be best for him to take over the fiances in the house and give me money as and when i need it, to be honest this made me feel like a child again and a bit degraded but it was a decision that needed to be made in these early stages of recovery, did anyone else feel this way when having to do this? he also had a look on this site at both the family and fiends section and this section to get a better insight into this addiction and he said afterward he had no idea how serious it was and how it made so many people feel, thankfully i have his 100% support to do this and he wants to be really proactive in my recovery.

well thats all for now. 24 hours done on to the next... 🙂

Hi Jess,

Good to read that you still feel strong 🙂

Yes my friend I can just speak for myself but the feeling of being treated like a child is very familiar to me.

But your Partner is right and you can be very proud of him as I'm sure he is very proud of you for tackling your addiction.

And you will find out soon, that him taking over the control over the finances in your household will take a lot of pressure of you.

It's just this little devil on your shoulder who tries to convince you different.

You are doing great keep it going my friend and all my respect to your partner.

Wolfgang

just a quick update i have had a call from a counselling service referred to by netline and they have given me an appointment for tomorrow morning (very quick as i only spoke to them yday) not something i would normally do but im going to go there with an open mind and hope that it helps keep me on the straight and narrow.

Thanks for your continued support. keep you updated on how it goes 🙂

Hi jess.well done for the positive steps you have taken as you start your recovery.its great your partner is so supportive.This forum will be a great help too.its helped me so so much.im 64 days gamble free and i feel great!stay positive and focussed and you can do this!

Hello Jess,

Thank you so much for your kind words I really needed those. Look forward to supporting you where I can and hope you can be there for me too, as we start this journey again together.

Keep strong, this first week is always the hardest until we get into those double figures.

Take care

x

Hi Jess

Many thanks for posting on my diary page it's much appreciated. Well done for getting through last night gamble free and I hope today has been good for you. Great to hear you are getting support from your fianc, and also great that you have contacted someone about counselling.

You asked what the five years of non gambling were like before I started gambling again. To be honest the only thing I really miss is the financial security as now in the last few weeks I've got myself into a bit of a mess to say the least. I have to say although the last few weeks have been horrible with all the loses, I think the penny is really starting to drop about how I need to live my life. Even in those 5 years without gambling I was pretty hopeless with money, although not in the same kind of debt. I'm therefore starting to think about how I can manage my life better as a whole. As far gambling goes I'm ok at the moment as I'm facing the debt I've got myself in, the real challenge will be in a couple of weeks time when I feel abit happier and with a bit of money in my pocket - in gambling terms that is a danger zone for me. Keep posting and reading posts and take really good care of yourself and remember to be kind to yourself too, one step at a time. Granite.

just a quick post as i have a really busy day today...onto day 3 now still feeling good. today is the 1st day i have a little money in my pocket and you know what im not worried. normally i wouldnt have even made it to the bank to withdraw this small amount but just for today i will not gamble ...and it feels good!

Granite, thank you so much for your honesty i believe many of us have found ourselves in similar situations and the fact that you are aware that its not just gambling that affects your life and lifestyle is a huge achievement as ive said before it is never easy admitting we have faults. Good luck and stay strong 🙂

excellent. I'm really pleased you are felling good with the extra coins in your pocket. You sound like you are doing really well. Stay positive and have a great day. Granite.

Hi jess

Well done for such a positive start I can see you are making full use of this amazing site , at 25 you still have all your life ahead of you so that shows great character to realise that help is needed

It sounds like you have a real supportive partner which can only help its sometimes really hard for them to understand as I think only a compulsive gambler really fully understands how it feels , let your kids be your inspiration my daughter is my drive to keep that better life without her life would be so different

Best wishes on your journey

Castle2

Hi Jess,

Great to see that you have made it through the first few days. I am at a similar stage to you as on day 4. You seem incredibly driven and motivated and I can relate to your realisation that you don't want to do this any more. Keep up the good work, and your guard. Will be following your journey with interest.

All the best, Jam