day 1

Hi TALBS thanks and a big congrats to you, you must be very proud temptation right there and you said no, good on you mate.

Day 17 for me now having the odd thought here and there but if im honest a lot less than i expected im just making sure that now i dont think oh im ok ive done 17 days (the longest ive done in well over 2 years) and let it sneak back in, ive read many stories on here regarding complacency and i do not want to slip into that. Ive enjoyed the last 2 weeks of my life more than i can remember in a long time had ups and downs so far but got through it and feel better for it. On a personal level im going through my own things without gambling being an added pressure and think i am able at the minute to deal with whats happening much more proactively and although im stressed over it i am dealing with it where as gambling wouldnt have enabled me to do this, everything was 100 times harder to manage when i was even tough most of the things where not related to gambling my whole mentality and mindset was different (crazy how 1 thing can affect every part of your life without you even being aware it is)

Staying strong 🙂

Hi jess

Congrats on day 17

Stay strong and dismiss any urges

Suzanne. Xx

day 17 coming to an end thankfully been a long one had my 3rd counselling session today which took it out of me a bit today starting to get a bit more in depth now, also my partner tried to get a credit card tonight and was declined, 6 months ago he had an outstanding credit score but seen as the bills are all in his name but some come out of my bank (which havent been paid at all really since recently) it has brought his score right down...god i feel guilty, ashamed and very selfish for my actions, not only have i affected my own finances but his aswell when he has always been so careful. feel pretty s**t about it but just got to suck it up an make sure the payments are made on time form now on not just for my sake but his aswell i dont want to be the reason he cant do things he wants, he works so hard to provide for his family.

hopefully wake up with a clearer perspective on things in the morning.

Staying strong

day 18 today feeling positive ive been reflecting on the last few weeks this morning and im really happy about what has been achieved so far, ive had a little moan over the last few days but guess somtimes it can just all get on top of you a little and this is an ideal place to let it out, but done with the wallowing now, thankfully, getting back on that positive mindset.

Going to cook a nice meal tonight for my partner (although hes a vegetarian,bloody nightmare lol) want to make him realise how much i appreciate him and all his support, not once has he complained, not once has he raised his voice to me but always said its ok we will work through it together, i love you, i am one very lucky lady!!

Great to see other peoples posts are sounding so free as well been following a few peoples journeys since i found this site and its good to know there feeling/starting to feel positive about life again

Staying strong

Hi jess

So pleased you are feeling positive and strong and that you feel better inside

Congrats on day 18 soon be three weeks

Stay strong

Suzanne xx

day 19 things still going well

Staying strong

jess

Hi Jess

Thanks for your kind supportive words.

Am so pleased you are staying strong and all is going well we will get there and this will be a bad memory but like all memories we learn from them even if it is the hard way one day at a time stay strong and safe

Best wishes

Suzanne xx

He y jess so pleased that you are doing well and have managed to make it through some difficult days.

You are right to be cautious about complacency. In personal experience and from reading other diaries, this is a key time for you.

You need to solidify these 19 days with more gamble free days, reflect on how much better your life is after 19 days compared to 3 weeks ago.

19 days is a long time of abstinance for someone with an addiction so you deserve a pat on the back. i remember getting to 3 weeks and thinking ... that was a bloody long time, and now the weeks just seem to pass by as normal life does.

Although early in my own recovery i promise you have good days to come if you can stick to it.

well day 24 for me today havent wrote for a few days but have still been reading others journeys to stay on track.

Things are going well so far urges are minimal at the moment thankfully and im still continuing with the counselling set up by gamcare which seems to be helping not only with gambling but all aspects of my life so really pleased about that, apparently im a logical person but im to critical of myself...who knew lol.

Other than that not really much been going on just been enjoying life, babies teething at the minute so very very tired lol but other that that things are ok.

I found a quote yesterday and found it a great way to look at life:

"Don't start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday

Each day is a fresh start

Each day is a new beginning

Every morning we wake up is the first day of our new life"

Staying strong 🙂

Hi Jess

Thanks for your advice and congrats on day 24 and even more congrats on your strength which you have just passed some on to me

I am so pleased for you keep going

Yes Am having a dark day but keeping close to this place I know I will feel better tomorrow just have to ride today

Suzanne x

Hi Jess

Many thanks for your words of encouragement - allways appreciated. I'm really pleased to read you are still on track and enjoying your gamble free life. I really liked your quote for today. It's always tempting to cling onto broken pieces of yesterday - it's a habit I'm trying to snap out of. You're comment "who knew" made me smile too. I relate to that feeling when I had counselling a few months ago. But at least it gives you a time and space to freely open up about everything that's on your mind. Take care - you are doing great.

hey jess well done on smashing through the three week mark. you are doing really well.

keep up the good work

Day 29 and still on track got through the 1st month gamble free with a few ups and downs as expected. Still feeling strong thankfully having a good few pangs of guilt at the moment regarding the money i have wasted over the years but particularly the last 12 months but i guess its all part of the healing and im looking at it in the sense of my realisation of the value of money again, for so long it wasnt "money" i ever had as it went into my bank and straight to online sites to...ironically...win money haha laughable when you think about it really. Social life is starting to pick up again for a few reasons i suppose, firstly i actually want to get out of the house instead of being attached to the laptop, i want to be in the company of those who make me smile, and secondly i have a little bit of cash to do things i could never have done before.

So on the whole feeling really positive.

Next target for myself is 50 days gamble free.

staying strong 🙂

well done jess, really good to hear that you are doing well.

its a great feeling to have that desire to socialise, do things, and spend that little bit of money that you never used to have.

really pleased to hear of your progress. keep up the good work. things just get better and better

Hi jess

Well done on day 30

Am pleased that you are remaining strong

even with the realisation of knowing the value of money now we have so little to spare at this time it dam well beats losing any more and having even less and being in that horrible dark place again

Let's keep going one day at a time and we will get there

Best wishes Suzanne x