Day 1.

Taking a break...

Doing well...I have hit 3 months now. Feeling good

Hi Paul.

Just popped in for a nose around this morning and have read through your diary. You are approaching 100 days now. Well done. Don't let complacency set in. You've broke the back of it now. Life is so much better without gambling.

Congratulations on your progress so far. Keep it going.

Curly.

Thanks curly. Yeah, it does feel good, I'm in control again. Spending more time on the things I used to enjoy. Now for a fish finger sandwich.

Day 97...Monday is day 100, not that I'm counting. Things are going good, personal training and job is fun this past week, despite my complaints sometimes.

100 days today Paul, fantastic achievement, you have now joined the 100 club, be very proud,

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne, it's a great feeling and I can honestly say I feel like I will never go back. I'm drawing more than ever, it's something I used to have a talent and passion for, I really believed I would go far with it, now I'm dreaming that this will happen for me. Gambling has stolen the last 10 years from me, and I started to think it was too late to make up for the past, but I know it's not. I'm feeling good and can honestly say, I firmly believe I am done with gambling.

Fantastic post 🙂 Great to see you are really dreaming again 🙂 & also that the job isn't completely demoralising anymore!

Fish fingers sandwiches eh? You really know how to live 😉

Keep living - ODAAT

Thanks again....to be honest, gambling has stolen 20 years of my life, but 10 years since finishing uni. I recently sketched a ladies face, I can see that it won't take long. I though 36 was old, and that it was time to give up on my dreams. I have to admit, I am extremely jealous of a friend that now lives in the states, and is working on computer games, and animation. This was my dream, and I can't help but feel like someone is living my dream. He worked hard for it, and it paid off. I have a plan to buy a pc this year's, and get a kick as portfolio together. Mmmmmm fish fingers sandwiches, all a growing boy needs.

Things are good, didn't think I'd make it this far.

Day 119. Just watched a movie after work and still drawing a cat, which I'm hoping will look like a photograph as it's a gift for someone. I have had more enjoyment in the past month, picking up the pencils again, than I got from 20 years of gambling. It's a shame that I wasted that time, I suppose that goes for all of us.

I have been thinking, where would I be now if I hadn't gambled at all. To be honest, I am now at that point where I would have been without gambling, as I'm not gambling anymore...yes, very confusing, but I know what I mean. Time for some sleep, and who knows what tomorrow holds for all of us.

Keep dreaming folks, it's the one place where we can escape, and it's free...

Day 121

One of my friends was telling me yesterday, how he won cash playing roulette. I literally told him that roulette was a massive problem in my life, and in so many others. Isn't it weird giving out advice, especially when so much of my own time was spent gambling. At my worse, I remember saying how easily you could win, and how I had a system. Oh how times have changed...

I'm now considering a degree, but I'm not sure what I'd get from it. Gambling really did mess up my 3 years at college, and my degree in multimedia lacked any clear direction. All I ever wanted to do was animate. I'm 37 this year, so my only fear is that I have left it too late. I don't want to do personal training and gym work anymore, maybe I'm just having a mid life crisis.

Hi,

Wouldn't call it a mid life crisis. Sounds more like a goal and an aim to focus on. Gambling probably did mess things before, but as you are now gamble free the world is your oyster.

You can't change your past but you can direct your future.

Good luck and best wishes

Yeah its a goal, I'm just not sure how realistic I am being. Do I necessarily need to study again? That's another 3 years building up more debt. I'm thinking that it might just be worth buying a pc, and just learning new skills on my own. In the mean time, I will be looking for work, with a more fixed shift pattern and see what happens.

Thanks for the advice, it really helps

Well, I have booked my holiday to Greece, which should be a welcome break from time at work. A weekend off too, so it's going to be great to sit around and do nothing for 10 days. Been really lazy with the training, slowly feel myself getting more out of shape by the day, I just can't muster any form of motivation to do anything involving exercise, when I used to be obsessed with exercise.

I won't lie, I have had a couple of urges to have a bet recently but I haven't and will do my best to resist, especially as I have come this far. Work is okay, started to teach a circuits class and people are loving it so that's one bonus. I still think that it's time for me to move on to a new job, in a completely new line of work but I have no idea what to do?

Anyway, just a personal rant, always good to to look back at what I have written. As I have said a few times before, I only ever post when I need to, so again this is a diary where I can go back and chart my progress from the words I have written. Hope everyone is doing great with quitting gambling, holiday here I come.