Day 1

Welcome Lulubobs :)) Glad to see you on the recoveries section sounding more positive already :))

Onwards and upwards !!!!!!

Thanks Alan yes onwards and upwards! I've spent hours on here reading lol learnt so much good ideas etc

Hi lulu good to see you have started a diary.
Start yourself off with baby steps
As in don't reach for the moon
Go for the spoon on the table
Try doing a week and keep adding from there.
A day at a time starts to mount up fast.
As I said earlier in the week you would probably get a lot out of counselling. Counselling can be done face to face. Or over the phone. Or via Skype I belive.
Which ever suits you.
I know you said you have excluded from all sites but is that enough? It's all for you to work out.
Remember belive in yourself more if you don't who will?

Hi Deano thanks for your post yes I'm taking one day at a time like you say small baby steps etc I can't think beyond that to be honest the urges have been strong today. I hear what your saying about is self excluding enough I don't think it is so applying for a new card tomorrow and scratching off the ccv it means I also can't shop online but I've more time now not gambling so can go to shops 🙂 thanks for pointing that out cos it's helped me be stronger. Thanks Deano

Day 2 Urges strong so distracted by coming on here and re reading posts. It is very hard but I'm starting to feel hope that I didn't before. Going to have a Sunday kip and enjoy my Sunday gf

Good luck Lulu. Im on day 1 today and Im not breaking so I expect the same from you! You know you can do it.

Hi Ziggy and Em thanks both for your posts that's it Ziggy we are both going to do it! We can do it! Em bestest of wishes we can do it! What was it for you? Online? It is hard this is my first full hearted go, I've tried many times before but wasn't committed I am now. Time to have a decent life I reckon. Bestest of wishes both of you x

Look at all these positive posts and vibes going out to one another , it's great to see the strength in joint support :))

Keep it up guys :))

Day 2 late afternoon and apart from having a kip and cleaning up etc been coming on here instead of trying to thing of ways to gamble cos even though I've self excluded from tons of sites there's bound to be one if i searched hard enough but NOT doing it been coming on here instead. Tomorrow I apply for my new card and going to get a friend to scratch off ccv extra blocks in place that give me that time to fight this disease and what it's been doing to my life, basically ruining it, destroying it. The good thing is I have experience of addiction through drugs 17 years ago I got clean and am using both that strength and knowledge I gained from then I know the only person that can do it is yourself and you've got to want it. I know too that I need counselling I never had it before when could have probably used it, had a lot of bad things happen hence my wanting to 'escape' through any means I can honestly say this gambling addiction is as hard as drug addiction maybe even harder. Counselling starts Tuesday can't wait poor counsellor when I offload :/ bestest wishes everyone

Hey Alan good to see you yes we've got some awesome positivity going haven't we, even though I'm bit down I still feel positive that good things ahead by NOT gambling, how are you?

Been on here for hours need to be cos having urges my automatic default when I get an urges/s is to come on here, rant, moan whatever and if I can't then do something to distract me. It's so hard the hateful cg voice saying come on you can make some money to get out of s**t your in I hate that voice now and am hoping and praying for its silence one day. I haven't gambled today that's enough for me same goes for tomorrow and the day after that etc etc etc. All my money has gone next wages I've got to sort out debt I'm in too which I'm doing in a bit I've already arranged payments for most important stuff the rest can be sorted but god knows what I'm going to do next month I have nothing left but it's my birthday next month beginning of month and hopefully I'll get some money to live on which is sad because I should be treating myself with it especially as it's my 50th. I'm absolutely determined to be gf from here on now and can say that life after 50 was better. When I've got some money to spare I'm going to buy box sets of programs I've wanted to see but haven't because of gambling. Time to start living again. Bestest of wishes everyone

Back here again just thinking how last Saturday I was suicidal yet still went and blew £350 on slots money that my mum and dad gave me for a boiler on our narrowboat we live on. The feelings of shame and disgust with myself I'm turning around to a positive that I will not gamble ever again. The lies I have told disgust me too but again I'm turning it into a positive. I will make it up to everyone who has been affected by my gambling one day at a time. Being suicidal because of gambling was my turning point even though I did it again. Guess I was trying stupidly 'one last time' thank god reality has hit and the posts on here have helped me so much. Nearly end of Day 2 and I haven't gambled

Day 3 and wobbling big time hence why on here got to go to work soon so that will take my mind off the d**n slots. Just read some more posts now would be a time when I gambled before work I get up early for work. I keep thinking about all the superstitious ideas I had like was a lucky time to gamble etc never ever a lucky time and 99% of time was late for work and not doing a proper job cos was late because didn't want to stop spinning those reels in case the next spin was the lucky one, trying vainly to read the slots when they were ready for a payout so much time and money wasted but not going there again I've done best wishes everyone

If you put K9 on can you still use things like Amazon apps?