Day 1

Posting later no time for urges been way to busy just wanted to. Check in still gf! 11 days! So proud of myself I know early days but doing this 🙂 best wishes everyone Lu x

Keep doing what's working Lu , 11 day's and pushing forward :)) x

Well! What a busy busy day! Got up early as had interview for an extra job (for filling some time and more money) then came home hubby off today and we sorted loads stuff out did washing drying big clean etc etc! Then picked up shopping sorted all that out got free salmon steaks in with the shopping! Someone somewhere is missing some salmon steaks lol then realised my custard tarts and doughnuts weren't in my shopping! Rather have them than salmon steaks lol. Then went to opticians took ages eye test other tests and contact lenses test chose glasses got to have varifocals lol then nipped in couple shops just browsing then came home more housework etc and just sat down, had couple urges afternoon but fleeting cos busy. Didn't get extra job cos other candidate much more experienced but he's keeping my details. Also had email offering me interview for Volunteer Witness Support in the Crown Court local to me, will have to do three days training and minimum of two days a month actual volunteering it sounds really interesting work. So now sat down and stopped not really any urges just glad I've fought previous ones and got this far which is the longest I've gone for years. Also glad starting to get normality back in life. Hope this carries on best wishes everyone Lu x

Still busy! Finding stuff to do to keep me occupied and some pleasure coming back in things. Thought about gambling but not an urge really. Better definitely today probably cos keeping busy as boredom is one of my main triggers. It is just the fact that my hobbies don't give me pleasure like they used to before gambling took a hold but I'm getting a bit more than a few days ago. Gambling addiction takes so much more than money like I realised when I came on here being suicidal. Already things are so different reconnecting with life it'll be great when get little or no urges. My thoughts on gambling today were a little bit won't hurt I've stopped now can stop again duh but it's that vicious circle back on the roller coaster of desperate emotions again, do I really want that again, well no I don't want that part of it just the buzz with no side effects but cannot be done when your a cg. Getting there accepting that I can never gamble again but it's hard. Best wishes everyone Lu x

Well done lulu..
Fighting those urges are sooo hard in the early days....you're doing great .. ..my house was spotless after those first few weeks....and now it's fantastic to feel "on top of things"..
Like I've 're gained control....in all the things my addiction stole from me....you'll get there love...as each day passes the urges get less and less...they change to fleeting thoughts.. that I can tell to f**k off...."your having a laugh arnt you addiction "..."you've got no hold on me know"...."my life is great without you in it".....and I'll work everyday to keep it that way...
Keep pushing love....x

Yep ! Loxxies just about summed it up there Lu :)) , She's so on top of thing's she forgot to tell you she's digging the garden up now as well , JCB's and everything there's just no stopping her now :)) LoL !

It's so lovely to hear how much of a better place your in already , 2 week's tommorow ? :))

Keep on keeping on Lu and keep doing what works love :))

XX

Well done Lulu. You've obviously come along way with your recovery because you've quickly overcome your relapse and treated it as a blip. You are keeping busy, finding other things to do and concentrating on using your talents, whilst fighting to keep the cg out of focus.

Great to see you getting a foot hold in recovery. There really is no need to thank me. I just pass on what was given to me when I arrived. Have a great weekend x

Hi thank you for writing on my diary and your doing so well too, keep it up. Little dog is sooo cute is it a jack Russell x

Yay 2 weeks later on this evening! Can't believe tbh how quick times going never gone this far in years can't quite believe it! Another busy day back soon to reply to posts and update thank you everyone Lu xx

Two weeks :)) so happy about that but not what's happening in life at minute. My son has left his 'girlfriend' which I'm ecstatic about but she's pretty evil, manipulative, controlling, a liar and thrives on causing ppl pain. She's told me to get f****d and threatened me and now my sons left her she's threatening me again as well as my son. It's not nice at minute but at least my sons freeish from her, they have a little boy, my grandson so unfortunately he can't get her out his life totally needless to say she's threatened my son to not seeing my grandson she's incredibly vindictive and nasty. My son has had emotional and mental abuse off her for years so very glad he's left her for good. I don't know what she plans on doing but apparently she told my son today that we will regret it and she will have last laugh very soon. Such a lovely woman! Anyway the stress of this has given me some stronger urges to gamble in order to 'escape' but I'm dealing with it and facing this trouble head on! No way is a person like her going to be my relapse! So much happier without the gambling already! Wish me luck with her think I'm going to need it! Best wishes everyone Lu x

Great going on the two weeks hun
Sorry to hear you've family c**P going on...it's tough when it's the kids and grandkids involved...
I hope they can sort things regarding the little one...
Very posative to hear your determination to not run to the slots hun. ...
They'll give you nothing....you know that....stay strong...keep pushing....you're doing fantastic x

Thanks for your posts Lu. I appreciate your support..especailly when you're having a tough time yourself. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment and it's not suprising that the urges become stronger when there's rubbish to deal with. As you said, you can't let her be the trigger for a relapse....and your son needs you now, strong and gamble free. On the positive side, at least you're recognising the triggers now. That's a big step. You have to believe that the urges become less as time goes on. They really do! With all that I had on my mind yesterday, gambling just didn't enter my mind.

Well done on two weeks and one day. Keep going, LB x

Hi Loxxie LB X will reply tomorrow been busy again lol all good though as the big g doesn't come knocking as much when I'm busy. Two weeks one day gf! :)) best wishes everyone Lu x

Hi lulu you struggled to do one day at the start. Now your on 15 day's straight. Well done for sticking with it..
Deano x