Day 1

Thanks Alan for being there again I'm so sorry I feel like I let you down because your posts have been brilliant you are! Yes this time blocks and blocks again, already reported my card lost. I'm not messing about Alan anymore I did mean it all before just underestimated the strength of the addiction not anymore, Day 1, thank you Alan x

You haven't let anyone down Lou but I can understand the feelings of letting yourself down , sometimes a little slip can be the kick up the bu.m we need to realise it's not all plain sailing and at times weve areal fight on our hands , if it were that easy to give up there would be no need for this place and GA now would there ? .

You'll be better equipped this time to know how it all works and to be ready for those urges when they strike , the important thing is that youve stopped straight away and come back on here full of honesty , so don't be too harsh on yourself Lu , you'll get there :)) . xx

Everyone has a few relapses Lu, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Like Alan said, make sure you learn from it and make sure those blocked that allowed you to gamble this time have been addressed.

I can tell how much you want this. Whenever you get those urges come back and read today's posts. That will remind you of the horrible feeling your experienced earlier and should hopefully put you off.

All the best, I'm sure you will smash it!

RA

Hi sorry to hear your having such a hard time, but you can do this if you really want to, like previous posts put the blocks in place and come on here, take up a hobby do anything to get through the urge when they come. If your feeling depressed go to your GP he may prescribe something, no magic pill to stop the gambling but it may lift your mood and give you more strength to focus on stopping. The nhs also do counselling sessions which may help you to find out why you gamble, the root cause etc., good luck, stay positive and don't give up on trying to stop x

Thank you Alan, RA and Anon you've all helped me loads I've stopped beating myself up and just getting on with it. Your right Alan I feel more equipped to deal with this now, learning from my mistakes and I won't be so taken by surprise about the strength of the urges. I will RA read these posts again I'm really hoping I can look back on the beginning and see how far I've come. Definitely want this :))) also need to get my sense of humour back! Had enough of the mood swings and lows, Anon yes thank you I'm also going to doctors to see what he/she says and try and get more counselling 🙂 thank you everyone you've helped loads :)))

Stay positive and focused, keep us updated x

After work early this morning went to sleep was so tired didn't get up until 1.00pm poor Jazzy was crossing her legs took her out on a couple good walks in the lovely sunshine 🙂 Feel different this time about staying gf I'm more aware of how bad the urges can get which takes some pressure off me because before I was all tense not knowing what to expect. Day 1 done.

Thanks Anon x Lu x

Still got mood swings that I used to get when gambling as I was ok yesterday but today urges strong again and I feel down but been to doctors and told all and he will up my medication if I want. I don't want to just yet want to see how I get on. I read last night that gambling changes a persons brain and you actually go through physical withdrawal like mood swings etc. I said in a post a while back that I didn't want to gamble again but the urges say otherwise! Sick of feeling like this want to be free and enjoy life again. Looking at ways I can fill my time more I work but not a lot of hours because I have fibromyalgia but I realise I definitely need more to keep me busy it's just hard with an illness any more work I do will have to be from home any ideas welcome. I'm a qualified legal secretary so thought of doing typing from home? Need to do something apart from walking my doggies legs off lol another day nearly done

Thanks Lu :)) My diary's full of bits of rubbish but with lots of laughs along the way , I've always been the type not to dwell on the past , whats dione is done and now I've sgtopped gambling life's fun again so I'm going to enjoy it :))

Yeah ! The " v****a" bit's about a post I sent admin on their feedback page regarding when I said Your dog was a poor S.od because of the name , apparently it's a banned word ? , you can read the post on the feedback page it's good for a laugh :)) /.

These urges will come and go love , a lot at first but it does get easier the longer you go ! . I agree it is a withdrawl thing , your taking the chemicals like Dopamine away from you brain , it's released when you gamble and makes you feel good , so no wonder you feel down when your not getting it anymore . I threw mysrelf into work a bit more when I stopped , it kept me busy and my mind occupied infact just do anything until the feeling passes , even something as daft as having a bath would pass a bit of time and usually enough to take my mind off of it :)) , so your idea of typing from home would be great I would think ?

The main thing is just to remain pro active in the fight , keep looking for ways to make the urges better and little rewards for yourself along the way , I used to think that If I just lost £10 a day , it was £ 300 a month , 3 months £900 and so on but the truth is it was probably about £50 a day if I'm honest , so you can see how much money I was chucking away and what could you do with that sort of money eh ? , yet when I really got into gambling I thought hw usefull a bit of extra income would be friom my winnings , Yeah right ! It's not till I stopped for awhile I realised I had what I needed already , crazy really but you start believing what your brains telling you when your in the zone of gambling .

Keep going Hun , plodding along for a while until you find your rhythm , it'll all be good and soooooo worth it xx

Hey loo
And hi. ..
Just had a really quick scan of your diary...
We're the same age with the same addiction to the slots. ..
I put a parental block for gambling in my broadband. ..works a treat. ....maybe worth a thought love...good luck x

Hi Alan thank you yes I agree look forward not back 🙂 I'll have a look lol made me laugh reading it all lol

Yes they will and I'm going to keep at it and keep myself busy I've researched typing from home and found some possible work so that's good. Yes defo when your in the gambling zone you believe all sorts! I'm slowly coming out of the fog I'm starting to see some of what your saying and the longer it goes on I'll see it all! I will keep going Alan I so want to reach that point when the dogs lifted completely and I can see the horrible addiction for what it is, in the meantime it's 'fake it till you make it' lol thanks Alan x hi Loxxie yes we are about same age and both slots I've read some of your diary too and your an inspiration like Alan! Yes I've excluded from every site possible and got new bank card, yet to get K9 but I honestly believe there's no other sites for me to open I've totally scrapped the barrel. I think I'll try that though what you've said thanks Loxxie I'll be following yours and Alan's threads with interest on what's going to come up next as a topic of conversation lol! Makes me smile :))) thank you both ps good day today ;))) Lu X

Good day today, moods lifted so dopamine must be functioning pretty normal again but totally aware that they'll be some not so good days to deal with. Today not urges as such but crossing my mind. Can't wait for when it's mostly good days and no urges. Researched working from home typing and found possible work so pleased as I definitely need to be occupied better. Got all sorts of hobby ideas and will occupy myself with that too. Also top and bottoming our narrowboat which we live on, it's never been so clean. Hope I don't get many urges but if I do I'll deal with them. Payday tomorrow slightly nervous but it's all going straight back out and I have nowhere left to go on as self excluded everywhere. What little money I have left it'll be nice to see it still in my bank account. Best wishes everyone x

HI and well done on day 3, wow you live on a narrow boat , that must be fab, do you move around the country with it? Stay Strong and positive x

Thanks for the post on my diary, got new lip balm today with no finger print in it lol x x