Day 1

Still haven't looked to see how many days, got urges but not as intense think that's from readinding allan carrs book. He says he will remove the desire to gamble and explains loads I'm hooked on here and his book now. Managed to sort out some money to help me through next month so that's a relief, I still can't quite get my head around how much money I've lost and how bad I was that weekend. Sorting out hobby stuff to occupy me and found a £1 coin today! Best wishes everyone

Getting urges again I thought Allen carrs book had got through to me will keep plodding on and keep reading! Another day not gambled this is longest time in a long while I haven't gambled. Joined the research project on here and he's ringing me in few minutes be able to be totally honest to someone else which I hope will be cleansing best wishes everyone

Something youve done for so long Isn't going to let you leave it behind without a fight now is it ? .

Urges will come and go quickly at first but they get less and easier as time goes by :))

Keep pushing up that day count Lu and keep winning for real :))

Hey Alan how's u? Yes your right it's been a long time so won't leave me overnight, I've occupied myself today with different hobbies etc that I used to do before the gambling consumed me and started enjoying it again which helped with the urges:)) another day gamble free :))) slowly slowly catchee monkey lol thanks Alan all the best wishes x

Just realised 7 days gf! A whole week! So proud of myself. I thought I wouldn't count days but I am doing sub consciously anyway and it feels good. I'm still playing tug of war in my head with the urges, the devil on my shoulder but I don't gamble anymore! Life is so much better already, I'm sleeping, eating and got hobby stuff out and starting to enjoy that too. Going to stay with my mum in law beginning December so will get to see my son too and grandson, really wish could see my granddaughter but she's 100s miles away but Skype and ring 🙂 my works improved too now I'm not rushing to get back to gambling. Even though I've been sleeping better I've had some horrible dreams general theme being losing ppl I love. And I had headaches but they've gone now. Starting to accept the loss of money so much money but accepting its gone is a good step forward because the desire to chase goes too. Had emails from accounts I've self excluded from too! Surely they aren't allowed to do that? One week gf! Best wishes everyone

No they shoudn't. get on to them and remind them. well done so far. tri

Morning Lu ! I'm ok thanks:)) Well done on your first week gamble free and its amazing how quickly we start to feel better isn't it? , those gambling companies if you've self excluded shouldn't be contacting you so as Tri said contact them and threaten them that your going to contact the gambling commission that should do it , or even speak to the gambling commission if you want ! You could always change your email address as well that would do it ? . Enjoy your day Lu , you've earned it :))

Hi Alan glad your good and thanks! Yes 8 days now times passing good but urges today are stronger than ever but still gf! Best wishes Alan x

Strong urges today feeling down so automatically that little voice saying go on you know spinning those slots will make you feel better.....no it won't I say it'll make me feel a whole lot worse! I still can't understand fully the urge to play when you know it does nothing but harm? When you been so bad to suicidal because of it that your brain still says go on? I'm not happy today. Am fighting the urges but really wish more than anything I didn't get urges! I know I suffer from depression but why can't my brain just acknowledge it's harmful? I had a dream too nightmare more like I was gambling again and woke up in cold sweat and terrified I'd really gone and done it. Hard day today.

Lulubobs, first of all, well done for coming on here when you have such strong urges...great idea as this site is full of hope, inspiration and support. You're right, you won't feel better gambling because you won't win, as what ever you won will never be enough. Perhaps if you can face it, read some stories on here tonight. The urges are awful, but it will be much worse waking up in the morning knowing you've gambled, so do what ever you need to keep busy and not give this horrible addiction the benefit! Take Care. Cx

Lulubobs keeping going one day at a time. That inner fight to gamble probably won't leave you as quickly as you'd like but remember the good days you've had so far & I hope tomorrow or the next day is another good day & you feel better you can be free of the urges (perhaps never cured we're addicts after all) but I hope one day soon those urges won't trouble you so much & your strength to stay gf will be overcome. You can do it Lu.

Gambled feel sick, ill, everything bad again it's going to stop I can't take anymore.

First day again this is NOT going to beat me enoughs enough for good I really can't take anymore I need to find a way to deal with the urges which were so strong yesterday and this morning when I gave in to the hell it was anything to relieve the depression? Please has anyonelse felt really depressed when they stopped? I obviously need more help so am getting K9 on my phone, my friend will do password. This is hell I don't want to gamble! I really really really don't I couldn't stop myself I hate hate hate being so out of control! This time extra blocks are going in I admit total defeat I can't stop on my own. Charley and Redham I'm so sorry you took time to post and this has happened please if you would still post if you want to, even though I've relapsed I still take on board your words and you have helped and so has everyone else or I wouldn't be back. It won't beat me I hope I'm fighting this tooth and nail. could cry my heart out

This time I'll be ready for everything the disease throws at me, could really use some 'hugs'

Hi Lu , Ok so youv'e relapsed , don't beat yourself up about but now is the time to put all the stuff in place that really should have been there in the first place , the blocks the self exclusions , the reporting your card lost so when you order the new one you can sratch the 3 digits off without writing them down, even change your email address if need be , if willpower alone won't cut it then you need every door where gambling can get nailed tight shut !! .

I've said before it's not easy to leave things behind that have been such a big part of your life for so long , so time to get back on the horse and carry on with your original plan :))

You can do it but you have to put the effort in at every stage .

Best wishes Alan x