Day 1

Hi Lu and thanks for the post Hun :))

Kinda makes you think sometimes about how our family or growing up in a gambling enviroment can have a big influence on what we become ? but that's enough thinking for now it makes my brain hurt 🙂 , as for the trousers that was the 70's and my new romantic 80s stage has yet to come :)).

Hope your ok and well as not heard from you since yesterday on here ? .

Stay safe hun and talk to you soon xx

Hope today is going well lulu with it being payday x

Hi Anon x thanks yes we live on narrowboat we have a permanent mooring though but we do go out on it sometimes lol I don't 'drive' her my hubby does I'm too scared in case I crash her lol thanks hun glad you got new lip balm lol x hi Alan x I've been really busy today working a few more hours earning money I can keep :)) it's been really tough though urges very strong cos been paid so paid all I owe and it doesn't leave me much but it's not going on those slots! My first pay day though since quit and keep thinking just a tenner but I have my new card with numbers scratched off friend and neighbour did it for me so can't anyway which I'm soooo glad about cos I'm sure I would've failed. I feel frustrated now though I keep telling myself it'll pass! Thanks Alan for your concern cos it's been tough. Going to keep going and fighting this I know it'll be worth it :)) Lu x

Thanks Stephen x not great but haven't gambled cos can't lol feel frustrated and down when I feel like I should be happier :/ hope your ok hun Lu x

Hi Lulu , those frustrations will pass and you will start to feel happier. Well done so far x

Hi Lulu , those frustrations will pass and you will start to feel happier. Well done so far x

Thanks Anon Lu x

Well still feel frustrated if didn't have blocks in place I'm almost sure would've failed. Blocks are a godsend wish I'd done it ages ago. Can't wait for good days outweighing bad still struggling today with feelings from one extreme to another. Going to see my mum and dad today having dinner etc really looking forward to it cos live away from them so don't get to see them as much as I'd like. Best wishes everyone x

It will get easier Lu , little by little every day those urges will be easier to dismiss until you wake in the morning and gamblings not the first thing that comes into your head and you'll go to bed at night without thinking of the day's losses , stick with it Hun your doing great , little steps one day at a time :)).

Hope you enjoy your time with Mum and Dad !

Stay safe love xx

Hi loo
Hope your doing ok hun..
Like that old chap Alan...Mr fish. .or even hipster...call him what you like....he won't mind....he's a darling....but don't let on I said that .. .I can risk him falling over .....he'll be totally f****d if he does !
Anyway...like he said..
As the days build up....you'll think less and less about those dam slots.....seems sooooo hard to imagine a day in your future when you just don't even think about them.....but it can happen love....it has.... To me....and boy. ...it feels good...
Your turn will come love....just plod along one day at a time...
Least we have some fun on the way.....nobody said when you fight an addiction you have to be miserable....gambling made us all sad and lonely people....
It's good to laugh...xx

Hi Alan, Loxxie I'll reply properly tomorrow or soon cos got gastric flew very poorly just wanted let you know still here plodding too ill to think bout slots spk soon Lu X

Sick gambled was laid up in bed and couldn't stop it searched for a site hadn't self excluded took ages and still that time to think didn't stop me I was hellbent on self destruct feel sick feel I'll hate myself for being like this. I have to get a block on don't I like K9 or something please don't go away Alan, Loxxie cos I need you all like never before. Thought I was ok but it was like tunnel vision believing again the stupidity that I could win enough to see me through month but now borrowing again I could scream and cry I KNOW what it does wrecks lives yet I still did it again. I have a friend the one who scratched off ccv on card who will do the password for K9. I thought I was safe but I'm not and not in control in the slightest I lasted a whole three days after being paid. Counselling starts next week. I need it. Desperately. And the block thought I was safe

Hope you're starting to feel better. U will also start to feel better re Mr G as time goes on...time is a healer. Fight them urges hun...u can do this 🙂 ...might take a few goes...nothing comes easy xx

Hi lady h thanks for your post yes nothing comes easy especially something that's so worth it i.e. Being free from this addiction, it's got such a strong hold on me and I never saw it coming. Today when I gambled I had right up till then no intention of gambling I was so determined and being ill I couldn't think about it but soon as started feeling bit better that was it kept busy before that saw my mum and dad Saturday all good then bam today caved in, so gutted and angry with myself but not beating myself up waste of time. Need that block though cos I found a way around everything else completely tunnel vision nothing I'd learnt on here from ppl came into my mind just the so strong urge to gamble. Didn't have much money left but that's all gone now plus money for a bill I forgot about so having to borrow yet again. Not beating myself up just got to pick myself up and carry on it's the only way

Going to count the days this time noticed that both times relapsed I did nearly a week both times is that my danger point? One day at a time and I'll be so very proud of myself when I get past a week, was going to say if but trying to stay positive. I hate gambling I hate everything about it