It's been almost 4 years since I have logged into this website. Really makes me sick that I'm still in the habit.. I just need somewhere to vent my frustrations right now. Frustrations with myself.. with this sickness. I managed to get myself out of trouble 4 years ago, but now have got myself right back into it. Typical activities, I'm gambling to try and reach the surface and breathe again, but it's only dragging me deeper and I'm drowning. I feel like I have hit rock bottom now.
I am 27 years old, and have a mortgage. My debts to date exclude mortgage include approx. (£) : 2,000 credit cards, 10,000 salary sacrifice, 21,000 total other loans (split between 4 lenders). Absolutely sickening. Meeting the minimum payments all of them (not mortgage) will be clear by 2031, with approx. 1 loan company completed each year. I was in a DMP around 2020 for a few years, but as I can meet the minimum payments for the above I don't think it would make sense to look into this again. I am however left with very little every month now, after getting paid.
Some background on me without getting into too much detail. I have been gambling since 18 years old, I am extremely tech savvy. No amount of blocks / restrictions can stop me from finding a way. I will leave it at that. The most popular iPhone block is too easily overridden. The only way I can see myself stopping for good is to completely deprive myself from the technology. No computer, no phone. I can't do that right now.
From tomorrow I will when I have time after work I will start resetting my computer / phone and put the blocks in place anyway as a reminder. The thought of having this debt again for the next 4/5 years really makes me sick, but what's the alternative. There is no easy way out now. I need to beat this now and not have this same conversation in another 2, 3, 4 years. I have bookmarked this page and will try to update weekly. To everyone else on their own journey, keep at it. I wish you well.Â
Hi CR22
I'm sorry to read all this and shows the destruction of gambling addiction. As you describe, the so called shortcuts to life preached to us by the addiction is just a lie. It's the only self medicating addiction that convinces us that the only way out is to do more.Â
I was there for 44 years so I know how you feel. Are you able to build in some accountability to your recovery by handing over your banking to someone else or at least someone looking at your app ? Maybe reduce withdrawal limits and block gambling transactions ? Bank online so no branches like Monzo ?Â
I'm six months in, have the blocks in place but never tested them. Ive worked a lot on building accountability by logging on here each day and my partner knows how much cash I have and looks at my bank account. Ive worked a lot on building a life without gambling that I don't want to lose again
I completely understand and am also tech savvy, I know we can’t say much but please know I understand. That is suffocation in itself. I have similar debt. Hidden it all for a decade. Thinking of you.
Im a gambling addict also and have managed to quit before for a good length of time, but gone back and gambled all my money away again. I read a comment about Monzo bank , this actually does work they will block all transactions, trustly and bank transfers not just debit card, it is ideal to block you gambling as the rest to my knowledge only block debit cards and you can re-activate within 48-72 hours. Monzo i set mine for years.
@lp5vut869c Congrats on 6 months clear. There is plenty that I can do to restrict access. Once back from work later on today I will start putting the blocks into place.
Well done, it's the way forward to build up the foundations and as much friction to the next bet so you can change your mind
I can relate to this I guess I should call it day one for myself. It's hard but I am back
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Wish you the best too and a good recovery
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Dave101
Blocks in place on my computer and you cannot remove it without hard resetting the whole system so that it amazing. I won't be able to access that material on my main machine which is good news. iPhone is still difficult, but after emailing GamBan support they have sent me a link to try the Beta version oftheir advanced protection software for iphone. I'm going to try and install this later and hopefully this will then no longer be able to be removed from the phone.Â
The new version definitely works on iPhoneÂ
@lp5vut869c I finished installing this morning, can confirm it does work and cannot be deleted. I am in the worst financial situation I have been in, in years, yet I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now. I strongly advise anyone that wants to get the block sorted on iPhone to contact GamBan via email straight away and they will guide you on how to install the new version.
Hi CR22
I've talked to Matt who founded Gamban a lot and he assures me if anyone has any problems they can fix it and make it uninstallable unless you are a technical genius.Â
If you find any sites you can get onto just report them and they get blocked
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Well for the 2nd time in my life I'm back on a DMP. I do feel another weight lifted off my shoulders. I have messaged all creditors and they've given me the breathing space allowing StepChange to fully set-up the DMP. Positive steps forward. With all blocks in place now I can hopefully keep stepping forward to a gamble and debt free life.. Positive changes made this week.
Hi mate
That's great news as you don't need to worry about the debt and get dragged back. For me, debt was where my addiction thrived convincing me it was self medication and the only way out was to gamble more
I've learned through counselling and GA to appreciate a simpler life. Helping my family, this community where I can, helping myself to be the best I can each day and helping the outside community as well. It takes a lot of daily work but if I do that each day, there is no room let alone want to gamble. Gambling is a party I don't want to go to anymore and I don't have an invite as it's not safe for me. I hope that sort of makes sense. Maybe look up.a booklet called Who am I on the GA website if you don't already go to GA or have done the 12 steps.Â
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