Day 30

Hi Dom, 

Thanks for sharing your experience. It was great seeing you on the chatroom yesterday. I am pleased to know you find it  getting easier after the first week from not gambling and now you feel more confident to get recovered in the future. We all learn from the past, when we fall down  we will stand up and carry on walking again. I totally agree with you we should have faith and belief  in battling  against and defeat this disease. Enjoy your driving lessons and have a lovely holiday with your girlfriend! 

Hi Dom

Progress not perfection. Love your share because one thing that comes through loud and clear is your progress and determination. 

30 days is a real number. Tomorrow is one month. If you can think back to day one, did you think you would get this far ? If not then be proud. When I hit a milestone, I take aim at the next number I want. Then I go at that number one day at a time. 

You only have to get recovery right once, today you are getting it right my friend

I don't know what your accountability looks like but you now have this community rooting for you as well. 

Life is still going to throw up obstacles and I seem to be getting a lot but I no longer need escape shortcuts promised by the addiction, instead when going through hell, I tell myself to keep going

Each day I wake up, I think today is a new day. There is only ever going to be one day call by this date in time and I am going to be the best version of Stuart that I can. Not perfect but one step better than yesterday. To do that I concentrate on my recovery, put the work in and don't gamble 

Thanks both, you are great stewards for me.

Day 38

Gambling urges completely gone now. Was getting annoyed by how unavoidable the grand national was but thats probably a good sign.

Now that my relationship with money has changed my mind races with what my life could be, which sounds positive but now this consumes me and im struggling to live in the moment. 

Sleeps been horrendous lately.

Overall life is still a lot better though 🙂 

Hi Dom, Day 38 is huge!

What you're describing with the racing mind I think it makes complete sense. For so long, gambling probably absorbed all that mental energy and now that space is suddenly free, your brain doesn't quite know what to do with it yet, so it fills it with possibility instead. It's a good problem to have, but it's still a problem when it's keeping you up at night!

Have you come across the sleep charity? they offer lots of advice on sleep. I always find a good pillow spray helps too (I love feather and down) alongside some white noise. On days I am really struggling to quiet my mind I will listen to a guided sleep meditation!

Well done on your milestone.

Hi Dom

That's such a good number and is building up every day. Love your comment. I'm on day 144 and the urge to just look up the results of the national keeps coming to my mind. Ive not done it and am not going to accidently see it by going on a site. Im telling myself what's the point of looking. What difference would it make to me knowing the result.

I'm sure you know, the money and time have gone and it's pointless thinking about it unless you use it to remind yourself how much you are saving each day by not gambling. The worth of the time each day you don't spend gambling or thinking about it. The damage you did to your mind but no longer.

Meditation works for me in the morning. A guide meditation on YouTube with waves, takes me back to leaving on the coast for much of my life.

Now that urges have gone, I would suggest it's time to start retraining your brain to good thoughts. Have you ever tried writing a gratitude list of ten things you are grateful for today ?

Sorry Dom but one other thing

Whether you are religious or not, have you read the serenity prayer out loud ? It's a way of life 

Have you tried GA and the 12 steps that are used across 50 or more addictions ? Only one of the steps even mentions gambling

Thanks for the comments both. 

I have been on a course for sleeping recently for sleeping and my therapist has advised me. It's just putting it into practice. I have got some of the sleep spray, hasnt had much effect. My next step is magnesium. 

Yeah the grand national was an annoying ons for me Stuart, im out in the lake district witg my partner, they had it on so I sat directly under the telly so I couldnt see it. Ended up looking out and seeing everyone else looking at it, very surrealy experience seeing others emotions, but glad mot to be playing that game of emotions anymore.

I've not looked at GA yet Stu, but I have joined a group for men, they have just launched. So far they are doing pool/darts, boxing and football.so im gonna give this a try 🙂 

I emailed gamfam a few weeks ago and had no response sadly.

Hi Dom

Let me chase up Gamfam for you. Presumably you said your name was Dom ? It's difficult without knowing your email address as I can get you added that way. but I will ask the head of lived experience.

Great that you've joined a men's group. I've heard Andy's Man's club is really good.

There are sleep mediations on YouTube. 

Congratulations on completing your first month tomorrow. 

Hi Dom

I've just spoken to Gamfam and they said someone called Dom joined from Gamcare a few weeks ago for the zooms. I guess that wasn't you and they might have got confused with two Dom's. They said to email them again and it will get sorted 

Day 45 

Got myself a puppie yesterday, shes a little blonde cockapoo, I have named her Winnie she is a beauty! 

I have always wanted a dog but never felt responsible enough with my addiction. My life is soo much better in recovery. 

Starting to obsess less about money, growing every day 🙂

Hi Dom

How lovely and Winnie needs all your attention lol, feeding, stroking, walking etc so she is a non gambling dog

2 month and 5 hours! 

I dont think about gambling at all and haven't for a while.

I have gotten a taste of the life I always wanted, I have a puppy which provides great structure and amazing company. 

I am going through redundancy but it isn't worrying me too much as I am doing soo well.

My driving lessons are going well.

My relationship with my partner and family is growing stronger, my relationship with myself is finally repairing. 

I am managing my finances well and will be debt free for the first time in a decade in 3 months. 

I am socialising and saying YES more. Today I booked tickets to see a theatre show, this would never interest me because I couldnt afford it and wouldnt be able to concentrate. 

My weekly counselling is now fortnightly as we mostly just talk about my puppy. 

The only negative is that I have gained weight but thats fixable! 

Holiday next month with my partner. 

Soo proud if myself, I have hated myself for soo soo long and I feel like this new chapter is just the start of a great future. 

Will check in next month, thank you for all your support soo far 🙂 

Well done Dom, sounds amazing and keep it up.mate.