Day 65 second time around

Afternoon twink's , just stopped for a break , so I'd thought a quick catch up .

What I don't need is Swag , not when I've got MOJO baby !! , I thought it suited me , born in the early 60s ,(well more like scrapped in by the skin of my teeth) , International man of mystery , bad teeth and an even worse dress sense , just a shame I wasn't a tad older as I could have done so much bad stuff then ? .

I may be someone different though next week as people keep throwing random name's at me , Dan suggested FU%***£"!!

& tos^^$$aR but I couldn't find a photo that matched the description , LOL !.

Anyway I can hear work beckoning again and I also have to worm the Dog , so yep ! Livin the dream !! but at least I'm not gambling .

Wishing you and your son a great day !

Austin Powers x

Book ! Book ! Boooook ! , Hello twink's ! That was my chicken impression by the way not me asking to borrow a good read ! LOL !

Yeah , just a bit of a throw it down on paper moment , better that than it sitting there narling away at cha !!.

Had a great cuppa tea and 3 choccy bickies so the old blood sugars are racing now , hoope you had a good and productive day but I suppose Sunday's don't need to be that productive really ? , not heard much from Mr Deano ( wonder if his surnames Martin ? ) as we could start our own Brat pack ! , ( Oh no I'm Austin now soz I'd forgot ) .OOh I hope he hasn't come off the bike ?

Toooodle pip ! x

Everything is starting to come together at last. My son secured himself his very first job this week, just part time, weekends and one or two evenings in the week once exams are over. So proud of him, he's a good boy, I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky with him. So, he'll be learning the valuable lesson of hard graft equals money in your pocket.I'm sad to say that I felt compelled to have the dreaded conversation with him regarding gambling. He is fully aware of my struggles, for goodness sake he has had to go without because of them so he has been at the forefront of the impact too. He told me this week that when I first had the conversation with him a couple of months ago, although he nodded and agreed that he wouldn't ever start, he secretly thought 'when I start working, a tenner a week will be fine, I always get the football results right and it won't hurt her if she doesn't know'. (OM effing G, I hate myself) however I recalled a post from a youngster on here last week who probably started out thinking the same, I then sat him down and made him read that diary and a couple more. He gets it. Thank the Lord he gets it. So, I have had a few searching questions from him which I have tried to answer as honestly as I can, but it's hard for him to understand (it's hard for me to understand too) why on earth you would do something over and over that made you skint and depressed month in month out, 'surely after the first few months you realised that you wouldn't win Mum?' And that's the thing isn't it - we do know, yet we carry on doing it. He now knows all about chasing losses, not being able to win because we can't stop, about self loathing, understanding why I constantly looked like a cat on hot bricks at the end of each month having spent the week before payday saying 'we'll be ok next week, it's payday,' but we never were ok. I'm confident that he will never put his family through self-inflicted destitution. I'll constantly be on guard though, this bastarding addiction will not take my son, it's had half of my thirties, and the first few years of my forties - enough.

Congratulations to my Bug, from your ever such proud mummy dearest xxx

Lovely post twink's , and what do they say " Out of the mouth's of Babe's " ? " why do you keep doing it mummy " and yes of course your right " why do we do it " christ I wish I knew that one !.

Teach what you know twinks , pass on the knowledge gained through life it's suffering and it's beauty , then sit and watch you boy become the man , just as I've watched my son grow so quickly , almost in the blink of an eye from sitting an entrance exam for secondary school , through GCSE'S , A level's and now a Degree , Wow where did that go eh ?

Enjoy and be very proud that your there for him when he needs you !

A . Powers x

A nice honest from the heart post there. Knew it was in there somewhere. Progress indeed

So twink's Deano gets " Oh you do make me laugh Deano " and I get " Youv'e reminded me of another nasty job I've got , Worming the cat "

Cheers twinks , love you too !! xx

" You really are Patsy , aren't you " LOL !

Nice one twink's x

No fair play to you twinks , youv'e got your principles and like I you stand by em ! , Friar Tuck though , come on girl really ? I'm not 32 stone with no hair !! x

Ok Hilda , I've just replied to a valid point and aren't we supposed to see if you float before we burn you ! LoL !

Night twinks and sleep well x

Hello twink's , Yeah , glad your still bobin around but I suppose if you were on fire you could jump in the water anyway ( Oh just confused myself again ) , I'll always offer support if I think someones right or has a valid point , so no worries there but a wise call on the whole steering clear of the diarys thing at the mo .

I'm gonna try and have an early one tonight and steer clear myself , was up until the wee hours last night, putting the world to rights with Paul but all's good in the hood and we parted on mutual agreement , well I think we did !.

Anyway Congrats on 111 days tommorow , great effort although the way some speak you'd think that 666 would be more of an appropriate number LOL !

Have a good night hun x

Thank you admin.

You ok twinks ? Sorry for jumping in ,just felt the need , I've got no problem with a valid point but there's no excuse for that sort of rudeness and really no room for it on here .

Yep she's def flyin with the Banshees tonight , LOL apparently you have some brown stuff coming your way too , so that'l be nice won't it ? and her post to me , well I've never seen so many f's in one word , I think it was Russian or something , it ended in off anyway so prob not a good word eh !

Hi Twinks

Sorry for coming on ur thread but the guilt i carry is eating away at me more and more.

I truly hope you're ok and life is treating you & ur loved ones well.
I am sorry about my horrible behaviour last month. I absolutely lost control and cannot even begin to justify myself...I'm not even gonna try..that was unacceptable at any accounts...
I become self centred angry person..i forgot that you're hurting too, that you're trying to get your life back on track, make ammends and learn to forgive. You & me both know how destructive addiction can be. I truly wish you well...i cannot take my words away...i just hope you didn't read them as you said at that time.
I just read your diaries, you're truly inspiring person and deserve the best in life.

Look after yourself and the young boy, share the joy and love you have in buckets.

Sorry again.

Sandra

140 days and still going strong. Had a bit of bad news on the family front, but not enough to throw me off track. As payday is approaching, I needed to remind myself how far I have come as I don't keep a day count in my real life. 140 Days it is, and I'm proud of all of them.