Day one of what I hope is a new and normal life

Day 156 GF

44 days to go to 200 which has always been a big target of mine.

Good but tiring day today

Had to do hospital run to pick up in laws at 2am

630am dropped daughter at station

830am took Mrs to work

Grabbed Costa and then did counselling 

Went to see a house which was unsuitable 

Looked after my son after his transport bought him back from school. 

Gamfam zoom

Spoke to sponsor

Chatroom

GA online

Relax and bed 

@lp5vut869c another great gamble free day Stuart, well done and keep going, your insight into your recovery journey is always just amazing to read, so thank you for sharing!

Day 157 Gamble free or 226,000 minutes and change 

Whatever is a normal day in recovery if was today.

Broken sleep again waking up twice and then eventually up at 8am. I think it's going to take a long time to recover the sleep pattern

Went to Gamfam zoom which was good

Spent morning down and parents which was nice and let my mum and daughter go out shopping to give my mum a break while I watched my dad 

Went to the chatroom tonight and then GA online which was meeting 29 of the 90 meetings in 90 days. 

Not felt well for the last hour and been sick, hence the late post on here.

Onwards and upwards 

Day 158 gamble free

6 weeks to my magic 200 number and 23 days to my six months key ring at GA, one day at a time.

Lovely day today , weather wise, feelings, emotions, thoughts and actions.

Met up with friend for coffee this morning

Did some work around the house tidying up and getting ready for the move, it's the move to nowhere at the moment.

Did some shopping and charged the car ready for GA tomorrow. 

Went to the chatroom tonight and GA online which is my 30th meeting either in person or online in a row towards my 90 meetings in 90 days. 

Lots of posting on here and evive today and reading posts. Great day and looking forward to the modern meeting at 1am Tuesday and the new zoom with Sam deMello founder of Evive at 6pm Thursday. That one was so good last week and such a friendly atmosphere online 

Hope everyone has a gamble free week

Day 159.gamble free (late post for yesterday)

230,000 minutes and change since my last bet so the count down begins to quarter of a million 

Great day today. Spent time with my daughter and packed some boxes for the move. Arranged a couple of viewings and spoke to my sponsor

Went to GA which was a powerful room. Off to the Modern Meeting in half an hour so a good day all around 

Not sure of tomorrow's topic yet and film title but that will be after a sleep so will see in the morning 

Hope everyone has a gamble free week 

Day 160

Really good day today

Packed a lot of boxes for the house move and stacked them in the garage. Checked the website for more houses to rent

Peer support at Gamlearn this morning

Spent time with my son when he came back from school

Met a friend for a coffee before GA tonight which was a really good room..

Lovely day with no thoughts of gambling at all and spending time working on being a good person each day. 

Day 161 

No thoughts of gambling at all but today has been a very bad day. I've hung off the pink cloud a few times in recovery but today I fell off and crashed to the ground.

I don't want to say much publicly but I've had three instances today which have affected me. All in the recovery sector but not anything to do with this amazing community.

I need some time to reflect and I don't think things like the daily topics are helping anyone and don't receive many replies. I don't write them for accolade but I like to read people's replies and opinions to understand other perspectives. 

So I'm going to step back and look at my own recovery. Build it piece by piece again for me. I feel I've stuck my head above the parapet and it's there to be shot at so it's better for me and everyone else to sit back in the background. 

@lp5vut869c Hi Stuart

So sorry to hear that you have had a bad day. I just wanted to make you aware that you will be in my prayers this evening, in the hope that tomorrow will be better than today 🤞🙏🙏.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

stu stu time has flew..... high praise high praise for u is overdue.......

Hang in there u legend.....

I look up to u in many many ways dont change.....

Yes concentrate on ur own diary for the foreseable.....

along with focusing on ur homelife and moving...... they say moving is the most stressfull thing in life..... packing those boxes erly a great move.

all the best adam

@j5a6meyr4z 

Thank you Pink, it's not been any better 

@adam123 

Thank you Adam. 

Day 162

Worse than yesterday. I'm really not proud to say that ive had a day of self pity. I've tried to work on tolerance for what other people said yesterday and acceptance for the things I cannot change but it's been a struggle. I went to GA tonight, I wasn't even going to share and just did a share so that two people in the room who enjoy reminding me that I am in early recovery could hear my one line share "this is my 250th meeting since November. I also shared that I went to GA 33 years ago. It felt very wrong but very good. They are sick people as well but I can't stop it hurting me. If you tell someone the same thing enough then you start to believe it

They have no idea if the amount of work I've put in. If I don't have something positive to say then I don't say it and I've got to learn that I can't conduct the whole orchestra 

I've resigned from going to all zooms with one particular recovery group after a "chat" which was all around having a go at me, yet another big ego in the sector and have asked them to remove my details from future notifications. Ive left and deleted their WhatsApp group as I will never set foot in those zooms again.

I went to the Evive zoom tonight and didnt even put my camera on or say a word, another thing I'm not proud of and shouldn't have gone at all 

@lp5vut869c 

hey not even sure what I’m doing here, just having a read on others stories etc. Not sure what I’m even getting myself into here, or if it’s a helpful place to be. 
But I can relate to how people are feeling, I’m in a bad place myself and getting help. At the moment people hate me 🥲

hope tomorrow ( well today is better for you) 

@lp5vut869c 😢🙏🙏🙏🙏

🩷🍎.

@shaz9ib28k 

Hi Mands

You are in the right place. The support on this site is incredible

If you feel comfortable start up your own diary post and open up a little about your history and where you are now. I will reply if I can offer any help