Recovery diary no.2 🙁
I did not gamble for a month last time and saved a few bob which meant I almost had a full wage to myself on payday.
I then went into bookies with a mate and made a small harmless 5 bet on the Ryder cup and walked out. I felt stupid for making the bet as it stopped all my good progress to stop gambling.
I then went into another bookies later, on my own, and started throwing money at dogs, horses and cartoons. Not a race went by without my money on it. I lost 600 that night, 600 the next morning and I even got credit to fund more gambling for the rest of the month. Worst gambling splurge for a while. Over 1500 lost.
Today was payday and I paid all the bills i had to today and I am only left with overdraft money to see me through the month. I have no money to gamble and still i went to the bookies today.
I only had one bank card with me so only had 300 to lose. I was down to last 30 before I started winning again. I was very lucky. I managed to get my money back. All luck, I don't read form anymore I pick a random horse from top of betting and bet every race.
Im about 2 up for the day, I nearly lost full 300 and likely I would have come home to get my other card or had more bets tomorrow if I lost. I was chasing my money back and every bet was stupid and the staff in shop know Im hopeless. Always embarassed after I leave but I dont give a s**t while I am in the shop and i have money.
I told myself I would quit for good if I won todays money back. Part of recovery will be writing another recover diary. Hopefully, I can stop gambling beyond payday this time.
Welcome back!
It's so difficult and we all have these stages, so just try and take it one day at a time.
They will always be there, you just need to tell yourself you are not going back
Use this forum to gain the knowledge you need to beat it
Put the blocks in place to help you stop
Good luck with today and I hope you can stay away from there, remember, one day at a time
Weldy
Thanks for taking time to leave a helpful comment Weldy. Sorry to disappoint you.
Unfortunately degenerate iii thread will be starting soon. I gambled on Day 1. Pathetic.
I was so sure i was going to stop yesterday. This morning I hid credit cards but went into town for haircut with too much money available to me. I lost 500 would have been more if I had CCs. Looking back, I could have made more of an effort and transferred a small amount of money to another bank account I have.
I am going to call helpline and organise another counselling session. I need to do more to combat my gambling problem.
🙁
I agree with you, let's be friends.
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