Fish, you have always been a prominent person in my recovery through your words and wisdom. It just goes to show, as you said, you are never OVER and we really can never be trusted fully to not just go full tilt and spend spend spend.
So sorry to hear you slipped, please put measures in place now to ensure it's a one time slip and not the start of something big. Super proud of how you have got yourself out of the mess, let's make sure you stay there brother ! I wish I didn't have 35+ years of debt facing me but I do.. look at blocking measures now mate you have the independence the time and the money so you need other measures locked and loaded so that you can't drop more money in.
You got this man !
Thanks all, Still going strong. Weirdly, I'm glad I had that one day of madness. It reminded me of the fear, and the hatred that got me so far. I'm not saying everyone should have a lapse, but it got me in a much better headspace. Easy to say I'll never gamble again, but having gone through this, I now feel safer than ever. Strange I know.
Life is still good. This has not broken me in any way. In fact it has made me stronger. Luckily it wasn't disastrous. I'm happy my brain managed to take control and stop things before it got crazy. I am still debt free. Still have money. Still on track. I'm also happy that I could stop (eventually!). Live and learn.
So good to read people are still going strong. Well done to you all. Super proud to be a part of this forum and super proud to hear the support from others. Here's to another 500 day push, followed by a rest of my life push!!
Stay strong 👍
Well done fish 🐠 🐟
You posted.
I don't understand how the company emailed you after you self excluded though. They aren't allowed to. You may have cause to raise an issue if this is the case.
Well done for posting. You recognised the issue and came clean. What did this relapse teach you?
Hey Bean, good to hear from you.
What did it teach me? Well I could say the obvious like I need to close down all opportunities to gamble, or I am not in control of gambling and never will be, but I know this and knew this already. What it really taught me is that 1 slip does not break you. It's gutting to ruin my long gf streak, but I've always said we are all on day 1 every day. The most important thing is I didn't go straight back in and chase. I accepted the fact and realised that it has made my resolve stronger. I now know that I can slip. I'm not invincible. My resolve is strong but it's failed me before so now I need to focus on why it failed me.
I realise now that boredom was getting the better of me. My uni course was finished for the year. I'm not working as much overtime. I had more time at home.
My uni course starts again next month. I've got some more overtime shifts. I bought an Xbox game to struggle through. The addict brain needs stimulation. I've now made sure I have that. Mundane day to day watching TV and walking the dog is not enough for my brain. It needs that extra buzz to replace the boredom. Problem solved!
Anyway, that's my lesson learned. Luckily not the hard and massively regretful way. Yes it hurt. The fear returned. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat for a few days. How did I live like this before?!!!!! If anyone is reading this and worried after a relapse. Don't. Own it. Be honest with yourself. Work out why you did, and get back on the wagon with the extra knowledge. We got this.
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Snap!!!🙈.
Hope you are doing ok Fish and I am sure you are as sorry and as disappointed as I am right now. Well, we can continue yet again, on this road together. We have already done all the hard work and we need to get right back to where we were before we both slipped up.
Take care and hopefully see you writing back on here soon 🙏.
Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Fish it's been nearly two weeks since your last post so just checking in. How are you getting on? I know from your diary that in your early stages last time, attending GA meetings really helped you. Is this something you can look to jump back into ?
I do hope that your okay and not running down that gambling path right now. Regardless please reach out and talk.
Dazza
Day 24 (again!)
Thanks for the concern. Still going strong. I'm not focusing on the lapse as a negative. I think most off us will at some points find ourselves in this situation. It's how we deal with it that makes us stronger. 24 days have flown by. Keeping myself busy, working lots, new OU module started.
Got a little break away next week so will be good to relax away from the world for a bit. Only 2 nights but looking forward to it.
Not much else to update. No thoughts of gambling. No concerns.
Stay strong 👍
Just checking in again fish, how ya getting on? Whatever the answer make sure you get posting ! Take care.
Day 43.
Work been kicking my a*s lately so not been on much. Life looking good. Still trucking along. Still happy in my life. New open university courses started so keeping myself busy in my downtime. That's the key for me at the moment. It does mean I'm pretty frazzled each day. Working, running, studying, finding time to look after dog, and see my other half is pretty full on! Beats gambling though so I'm happy.
Just been catching up on some of the posts I've missed by new people. The family ones are a bitter pill. So bad that this addiction can drive us to hurt our nearest and dearest, and we don't even give it a thought when we are in the gambling zone. It's only after when you quit, and look back you realise how bad you were. Hopefully some people find the answers they need in this forum. Hopefully some family members persuade the gamblers to join this forum.
Anyway, back to work.
Stay strong 👍
Day 49 - All good on the western front. Work, sleep, dog, repeat! Need to get some time off work. Seems like I have no time to myself at the moment. Probably a good thing. Keeps me active. Whatever time I do have free I fill with studying for my OU courses, and try and squeeze in a visit to the good lady! I've noticed since that little lapse, that the gambling texts and adverts have increased again. Phones definitely monitor your actions and force things down your throat. Tempted to get a new phone and change my number and email address.
Back to the grind. Night shift nearly done and bed is calling.
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish 🐟.
Just thought I would drop you a line to see how you are doing? Hopefully you are keeping as busy as usual and still enjoying your g.f life 🤞🙏💪.
Drop us a line just to let us know all is ok in your world and if it isn’t, please let us know.
Take care.
Your friend
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Day 94
Hey folks, sorry for the lack of activity. Been super busy at work and in home life. Doing 2 Open Uni modules this year and it's taking up a fair bit of time. Still going strong through. Good to keep my mind active and away from gambling.
Back to 100 days GF next week so will have a proper update, but in the mean time, back to work!
Stay strong all 👍
Hope your doing okay fish. You was the first diary to get me into a different mindset, no matter what your going through or where you are, know you are an inspiration buddy. I hope you come back celebrating another +100 days, but if the worse has happened please do come back, no judgements just support.
When anybody goes quiet I naturally worry. Hope your okay.
Hi Fish 🐟.
Just checking all still going well in your world? I appreciate you are keeping very busy with one thing and another so you may not have the time to write/read diary entries.
If you do get a minute, please drop us all a line to let us know how you are doing.
Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
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