Diary 2

I am not happy about getting forum admin involved in the post earlier which I know some people read. The point I'm making is my diary entry at 11.30am was an acknowledgement of my own flaws. I made some ill-thought and insensitive comments in the chatroom maybe 4 times - not tonight! - which I apologised for but believe me the comments I received to my face before and after I stopped gambling were petty cash compared to my comments - seriously. I had to eat several sandwiches being with S. I sometimes think people in the early days of a bet-free life have more to offer in a weird way than people who haven't bet for years. A serious newcomer (me I think) - committed, honest, often kind and often not. I believe I have been very honest on my diary and I wish everyone all the best but please don't post unless you have something constructive to offer besides a mantra. Goodnight, Phil

Julie I'm sorry to disagree with you as I respect your opinions but I genuinely do not believe I even hypothetically insinuated tonight about that person. I think we need to agree to disagree. Is it a happy clappy club? Is this something we should discuss - respectfully - privately by e-mail? Phil x

I have sent you an email Phil. You don't have to agree with me, I was just telling you how it came across.

Have a good week.

Julie x

Sorry Phil but Julie's post above is spot on. As bornagain said this is a chat room but to continue going around the edges and not dealing with it makes things uncomfortable.

We are all in the same boat. Each of us got to a point where we arrived here. Each of us deals with our recovery in our own way. Is there a right or a wrong way. No. Its personal to each of us.

This is a saviour to many of us and i was very lost until i found this place 22 months ago.

Battles have been won and lost in that time and spats have formed, people have been banned / moderated. Its the nature of the forum.

You personally are doing fantastic mate.

Maybe it is a happy clappy club but we all need help somedays.

Maybe people need to be accepted and realise there journey may be similar to others.

I wish you well

Phil I think both newcomers, and folks who have been bet free for a long time, all have something to offer. I read many people's comments, some things I think are irrelevant to me, other bits I take on board. I believe I have much to learn. I have started going to GA; an important principle of the room seems to be that we treat one another with respect, and that the Room is a safe place. I think that is how the forum and the Chat room should function. I didn't see your earlier post, I have no understanding of the subsequent comments. Phil, keep your focus on your recovery; let go of the past, let go of comments that people made when you were gambling; the past cannot be changed, the now is what is important

Hi Phil didnt get a chance to say hello on chat, you seemed distressed, Hope everything is okay, 🙂

Keep your chin up Phil, put the past behind you and focus on what helps you best in your recovery. Use the chat to help you and don't be afraid to say your bit. Life is full of disagreements, there is no right or wrong way to do this, whatever works for us is best. Keep the days adding up and stay safe!

Thanks for the comments since last night - I still have a lot to learn but some I agreed with whole heartedly, some generally and some only in part! I appreciate all feedback and the time people take to write on my diary page so thank you again. Best wishes, Phil

Hey Phil, I have no idea what went on, but whatever happened I really hope that it doesn't set you back in your recovery. Im new here so havent read your full diary, I think it will take me a full day lol! But I am following from now so could you tell me a little about your situation or GF journey so that I will understand more 🙂

I can't change anything I've said and am willing to take on board constructive criticism and apologise if I think it is appropriate. I don't think I sabotaged the chatroom last night as I was "multi-tasking" and only made some general, non-specific or derogatory comments in the last 20 minutes or so. With the utmost respect I'd really like to draw a line under this subject now please. I've learnt something really important and would rather the subject was dropped now. Thank you, Phil

I meant could you tell me how you are going with your GF period

How you are coping etc

Dear diary - accepting all my flaws, spite and negativity - I am genuinely offering an olive branch to someone. No need to respond but the offer is there. Best wishes to (me!) and you, Phil

The addiction - I could say "My thing was horses" and someone could say "never into horses but slots or online gambling". But as someone want said to me once "different meat but same gravy" metaphorically. We are all in the same position - day 1, day 10, day 100 but the decision and the commitment has to be 100 per cent -you relapse be honest which is very brave but start again despite any difficulties and learn and think what caused it? I was a big user of a drug from colombia which for some reason you are not allowed to mention on here - anyway begins with C. I took it again several times despite being in a fellowship in Brighton only for a short period. Part of it was my sponsor was a liar and egotistical but he was only part of the problem despite the disappointment with the trust. So I swapped - six years clean later- one thing for another. One day at a time - every path different for the individual I am learning more about myself and my desire to be distracted from my head issues. Just some thoughts, best wishes, Phil

Regarding the Cheltenham festival which I know is a big one - just some thoughts. Horses were my poison of choice as many people know but the way I look at it as follows - horse racing is on nearly everyday of the year. Meetings at remote places half of us wouldn't have heard of if we weren't into horse racing! So to me tomorrow, Tuesday etc are just another day. Hopefully (not pre-empting it'll be the same with The Grand National, Derby etc). I know it's not that easy - it's a complicated issue and struggle for many of us but I believe with the right measures in place and mental attitude they can be "just another day or days". Best wishes, Phil.

PS I KNOW it is a pain in the b**t getting all these ads on Facebook etc. Very annoying.