Diary 2

Reading other posts about being addicted to one form of gambling and "not" another totally reinforces my daily commitment not to gamble. I know for a fact ​I cannot gamble on anything safely - horses, dogs, machines, scratch cards, lottery, football matches etc. and I accept it and am a happier person for it. I may not go to meetings but I do see a therapist and although that is not directly linked to gambling I am developing more and more insight into myself, my background and what drove me to get into the state I did gambling.

I like this although it is from an American website and isn't about gambling specifically:

In its definition of recovery, released in 2011, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) describes recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”

I've made many mistakes on my journey and said inappropriate things on the chatroom (one thing - no) and I'm bloody sorry about that but don't let people put you off using it if they are dictating or lecturing because that is not fair.

Choose YOUR path with good advice and commitment. Any day without a bet is a good day.

You want counselling - good. Go to GA - good. Just think about the money you lost - no problem. You are you as I am me but as long as we are happier, honest, pay our debts (if that's the case) we move on - one day at a time in my view which as I always say out of respect to fellow forum users and a couple of people I hope have found some of my comments in the chatroom useful. Cheers, Phil.

Sometimes a little bit of sensitivity towards people using the chatroom who want to stop gambling but are bewildered and just thinking about the lost money is appropriate - without a sermon or dismissive brief comment. Some people who are evangelical and haven't bet for years seem to have skin like a rhino and drop napalm in the chatroom with no compassion towards someone on the first day or whatever of their journey and don't care at all about criticism and then leave without a goodbye. Bad form as I learnt the hard way. Phil.

Hi Phil, hope you are good today, read a fair bit of your diary today, I can relate to a lot of your anxiety issues. Have enjoyed chat with you recently, you as I have said are a fair guy. I'm gonna stick around gamcare for a while this time, it reminds me of how tough the gambling life can get. I will be away in Scotland for a couple of weeks coming up back end this week, just need to go my sisters and hide for a while, clean air no computers. Might catch u in chat later - Paul

Hi I really like the quote on recovery “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” I'll be flaoting in and out of diaries as part of my recovery. I'm currently striving for that self direction, I know what I need to do it's just a matter of getting on with it. All the best with your ongoing recovery and reaching that full potential

Thanks for the responses and best wishes in your journey. Phil.

A non-mean acroynm in a lot of recovery fellowships - K.I.S.S - google it. Recovery doesn't have to be really complicated and if you are happier, honest, pay debts, think about why you got into a mess (like me) move on. Reflection versues dwelling.

More bad (in fact extremely distressing) news for my wife and I. We deal with it as a team - the team I deluded myself we were before February 2016. So many things have happened in the last 16 months - bereavements, illnesses, family squabbles etc. but I haven't made any excuse to gamble. I made the commitment and have stuck with it one day at a time and if anyone thinks my efforts have just been related to self-exclusion please read post 183 in my diary. BW, Phil.

We are not evil people but somehow or other we individually got into this addiction with all the baggage and chaos that comes with it.

We have to move on, we have to be honest, we have to pay our debts, take the criticism and believe me I've had lots and still do, re-gain trust, love and respect.

Many people want to be the "way" they/I/were before this got a grip on us FOR whatever reason OR learn why it happened and incorporate that into the journey. Early days -A) abstinence B) belief and C) commitment. Keep it simple. Cheers, Phil.

Phil, I wish I could figure out how to place a quote on another diary because I've come here in response to your rant about sponsors...

How many of those people that complain about their sponsors being too pushy are actually working the program? Most of us are here because we refused to face life head on, we don't want to face facts & deal with our weaknesses, that is why we turned to addiction...Of course we're not going to appreciate a good teacher who tells us stuff we don't want to hear but this site is proof indeed that the soft hand helps very few.

Seems to me that them telling their sponsees if you don't work it you fail is just a bit of old fashioned honesty? Goodness me, after the years of deceit most of us have survived, ain't that just a low blow...One which many people need to hear & heed.

With all due respect, you may not have used again but you gambled which surely means you simply switched your addiction? I'm not trying to hurt you with my words, I don't have a sponsor (yet) & I am a fan but I do think you are way too caught up in what has gone before. You're older & wiser now, & your experience @ CA was a lifetime ago...I'm guessing that a heavy loss didn't stop you gambling? No-one is telling you you have to go to GA, people in GA are trying to share what has saved them & many are there, not because they want to be but because they need to be. Yes it can come over as preachy but many of these people have tried all the other ways you & I can think of & more, & none of it worked. They're no different to you insisting it's tosh, except they know what they are talking about. You bashing it so vehemently when you haven't really tried it is like me insisting I don't like sprouts, it's perception & we don't help ourselves by having a closed mind.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post elsewhere ODAAT. I will reflect on what you posted and my own attitudes. Best wishes, Phil.

Sorry Phil I just posted on your old diary by mistake :((

Didn't know my old diary still existed??!!

Didn't know my old diary still existed??!!