For My Family.... chapter 2

Wow it sounds like this terrible addiction has done a number on you. At least look at it this way, with handing your finance control over to your wife and telling her, it is hard for additional damage to be done as far as lying or spending more. Although it sounds like you have a lot to deal with with what you've already spent, at least you're not making it worse. you will get support here both by people directly responding in by reading other people stories and realizing you're not alone I would recommend going back through diaries and posts and reading as much as you can ....everyone on here including me says that it helps sometimes. Also although you need to think about getting out of this mess you don't need to dwell on it 24 hours a day it will just make you depressed and feel like there is nothing ; you need to replace the gambling with something, reading ,taking walks with your wife or by yourself ; something.

Well done im so proud of you....soon you will realize that it is the best thing you could have ever ever done. Well done for having the balls to come clean especially at this time of the year. And I don't want to get your hopes up about the relationship but the fact that she came with you to citizens advice and didn't just walk out is a very good sign surely 🙂 xxx

Im not at all religious, but said a little prayer for you when i woke this morning.

I sincerely hope you can find a way through this together.

Stay strong, it does get better.

Ssb

Hi guys,

Thanks for your kind words. It's nice to know someone out there is supporting me.

Although my wife came with me to CAB she has made it clear that she doesn't know if we will get through this and may also have to budget for a flat for me. I poured my heart out about the gambling after writing earlier and I think she knows how much I want to kick this habit and keep us together as a family. It's getting past the debts though isn't it. Maybe if it was £60k of life savings I'd blown things would be different.

However it's done now, I've come clean and I don't need to worry about ever having to do that ever again. I'm going to beat this addiction, it's ruined me up to now and I need to know how.

Thanks again guys. x

Well done you.

I hope you can sort things with your OH. Either way you've allowed genuine rebuilding to happen now, whichever direction.

Randoms: no brownie points awarded for beating yourself up. Approach your past and your relationships with openness and curiosity.

Best wishes

Louis

Well done Arab,

Not everyone has the courage to do what you have done and you should be proud of yourself.

Nobody knows what the future holds but one guarantee is that if you continue to abstain from gambling there is a much better chance you ill get the ending you hope for.

All the best.
Damo

Hi PA

You've done something that many (including Mr L second time round) can't bring themselves to which deserves respect. Yes, there will be some harsh words said, a bright spotlight shone on murky corners and some tough measures to get into place but whichever way it goes with your wife you've started the rebuilding process.

Best wishes to both of you.

Maye you have mine (and probably everyone elses) utmost respect for pouring it out.

Hard wasn't it.

But now it's out, you can deal with it.

I hear what you say about your wife, my partner left me.

But bridges can be built, debt can be paid, rifts can heal.

Feel free to join our collective diary "we can and we will"

There's a good group of FRIENDS there who are supporting each other daily.

Best wishes.

Sending you one of my bucketfuls of strength.
Thinking of you and your family and hoping that in time the pain will subside.
All good wishes
Lml x

May I add my support for you. You have shown real personal strength. I wish you every success going forward, because, step by step, bit by bit, things WILL get better.

Day 33 and the grim reality of what I have done has hit big time

Not only what I have done previously but what it means for the next 8 years or so.

Off work again today and my wife working from home. Already had a very tearful conversation. She is struggling to even look at me, and who can blame her.

Really struggling to look at myself right now.

Give her time to digest it all, it has come as a big shock no doubt. Mentioned before that actions speak louder than words now so more than ever. Show her and the kids that you're committed to recovery rather than saying it. There is a real possibility she may not want to continue the relationship (for now) so you need to be ready for that outcome and continue seeking recovery regardless. It may even be necessary but if she decides to stay and give it a go then you know what you need to do.

If only you could bottle up how you're feeling right now, it would be the best medicine you could get to keep you off a bet down the line. Get to GA and give it 90 days, it may turn out to be just what you need.

All the best

All very raw right now PA, as long as you stay focussed and concentrate on her and your kids instead of this horrible addiction you have every chance of having a more peaceful Christmas and a positive New Year.

I appreciate its an awful dark place right now, but you have taken a large step to head towards the light.

All the very best

Ssb

Thanks guys,

Just back from meeting at CAB with a debt advisor. As usual have a more positive feeling in myself when trying to sort things out. Saying that if it was my doing probably wouldn't have even been there until next week. My wife is the "actions louder than words" person in our house, takes me a while to act.

Sam, I've always remembered you saying to me "actions speak louder than words" and I've not forgotten. Can you tell me when you go to GA do they give you something to prove you've been?

I'm hoping to get along this Thursday or next, dependant on child care.