For My Family.... chapter 2

Well I didn't get anything until 90 days when I got my One Day At A Time blue book. I'm sure if you ask though they will give you some literature (small books or pamphlets) which you could show your wife. You could ask her to come along to an open meeting - these only happen every so often dependant on the meeting you attend. The meetings help you communicate better I feel anyway so your wife will soon pick up on this.

As for actions you can take the biggest one is being open and honest with her from here on which to be fair you have already began yesterday. Have you put barriers in place to help you yet? If you have you could show her the self-exclusion forms/emails etc. One of the steps talks about making amends to those we have hurt - there are many ways you can do this and does not just relate to finances. You could show her your diaries on here also if you think it may help.

Fair play to you for standing up and admitting your problem. The next few weeks will be very difficult but be safe in the knowledge that the situation will only get better if you are open and honest and stay gamble free.

All the best

Hi Sam,

Thanks for that. Yes I know they will be tough but they won't be any tougher than trying to hide a gambling problem.

I have self excluded and have the emails to prove it. I will also be handing financial control over to my wife. The debts are the issue at present, however I have made contact re counselling and will be starting soon also.

To be honest I think I'd be physically sick if I gambled now. But I remember this feeling from before and now know that it'll take more than feeling like this just now to stop me.

Hope you're doing well also.

SBB I'm on the way up, just like my team 🙂

Just read this post and want to reiterate what everyone else has said really. Massive well done for taking the biggest step forward and telling all. It takes huge cahooners to do that.

As each day passed you will start to feel better. It might be slow but trust me, it does get better.

Hi PA

Have you pushed for permanent SE? They don't always show it as an option and they may get ridiculously awkward about doing it but at least some of them will offer it and it's worth pushing for. If they get awkward a threat to report them to the Gambling Commission soon gets them back in their box. It's also worth finding out the head office address and writing to them to tell them never to contact you again by any means for any reason. You'd be surprised how many of them get convenient database malfunctions.

Day 34.... morning all.

I didn't realise this was an option L, I will look into it today

Since "Come Clean Day" a couple of days ago it's now time for back to work day.

Although I couldn't get to sleep until 2am or so it was nice to be woken by my alarm today rather than waking at 4.30am in a blind panic. Now that everything is out in the open I can see that it was the correct thing to do. Time to change my ways.

Today will involve getting stuck into work with 100% focus, breaks and lunchtime will involve calling credit card companies to ask for some breathing space to help pay my debts back.

Thank you to everyone for your support. This last couple of days has been possibly the most stressful of my life and this website has been an amazing source of strength to me. My wife knows I use this forum and she seems happy that it is helping. Even though she is barely speaking to me she has also been an amazing support. I love her and the boys to bits and have to respect whatever decisions she makes now.

There are clearly still some tough times ahead but I will keep using this diary and all other forms of help out there.

Have a great gf day everyone.

PA x

The proof is in the pudding...if you can prove to her that you are serious about beating this then things will get easier 🙂

Day 35....

Morning all.... today is a massive day for me. After coming clean on Monday and speaking to CAB regarding debt management, tonight I will be attending my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting. I've also been in touch with Gamcare and I had a missed call from them on Tuesday and after phoning them back twice nobody has phoned me back yet!! Sure I will hear back soon.

So I am full of different emotions this morning. Nervous, scared, actually looking forward to it in a way too. It's so out of my comfort zone and I'm sure will hit home later but I know it's something that I need to do, not just for me but for my friends and family. Wish me luck!!

As for life in general... I feel so much better than I did last week. I feel like I have a new lease of life. I am finally going to put this behind me and change my ways. I wake up in the morning without that awful feeling of dread of what the day holds. I now have a different feeling, one of regret for what I have done to my wife, the lies and deceit. What we are going to miss out on over probably the next 10 years while I sort these debts out. When you actually sit and think about it, it's mind boggling that someone could get this deep.

Anyway, thanks for the continued support. I appreciate all your words of support and if it wasn't for this site I probably wouldn't have owned up yet.

All the best for your meeting tonight. No need to worry you will be welcomed with open arms and will be in a room with others who share your troubles. Everyone will be there for the same reason - a desire to stop gambling and continue recovery.

As for the debts it is what it is. Of course it will take a while to clear them all but be safe in the knowledge that at least now they will be going down instead of up! The longer you travel on your journey the more you realise it's not actually about the money.

Not that you need it but good luck for tonight!

I hope you get the sense of relief and hope for a better way of life that my son did from his first meeting.

This will also give your wife some much needed comfort that you are committing to recovery.

Enjoy your progress!

Cathyx

Another step in the direction of happiness and contentment.

The debt is only money PA, having it doesn't get you any closer to your destination, love, family, friendship, honesty (to yourself and to others) are the things that will.

I can almost feel the weight off your shoulders as you post each day.

Positive thoughts for this evening, remember it could be worse - You could be standing on the terracing at Tannadice 🙂

Ssb

Its been a few years since I have been to Tannadice and the sloping terracing.

Come on you Perth Saints

Best wishes

Hi everyone... Day 36.... thanks for all the kind words yesterday.

So... last night I attended my first ever GA meeting. How did it go?? It was something I should have done years ago.

I went in at 7.20pm full of fear of the unknown and came out at 10pm feeling like a different man. The welcome I received was incredible and the actual experience of listening to other peoples stories and speaking a little about my own situation was really therapeutic. I didn't do much talking as it was my first night but spend the night amazed at the similarities between my own story and the 17 other people who attended.

Had a long chat with my amazing wife when I got home and I think she will attend a Gamanon meeting soon. We both need some help to get through this however everything is moving in the right direction now. Even called a couple of credit card companies I owe money too and they were amazingly helpful, freezing accounts until they get more details from CAB.

The difference I feel compared to this time last week is actually unbelievable. If you are struggling just now all I can say is come clean as soon as you can and get along to a meeting. It may seem daunting but it is the best thing you will ever do. I will be going back next Thursday.

Fantastic PA.......delighted for you !

Sbb

Just the post I was hoping for this morning.

As sbb said....delighted for you 🙂

Damo

Glad to hear the meeting went well, you sound just like I did after my first meeting! Well done