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Hi Sandra

Such a positive post standing tall yes you are

So pleased for you to be back in the real world

Keep going and getting taller

Suzanne xx

Well glad your up and kicking girl. Just got in from mowing that lawn and yeah the 4 year old on the other side of this duplex won't get lost in it. LOL hell thought I could make due without that spark plug cause ran great for like 15 minutes. LOL Yup then dogging back down. Pulled that plug while hot none the less and guess it seen better days along with my fingers. LOL yeah wasnt holding on to that one to long. LOL so yeah another spark plug run and hoping it don't cost $140 like yesterday. Well can guarantee it wont.

Lol you best guarantee it won't cost you that much. In my country hard working people used to use scythe to cut grass, so yep yep maybe that's the idea lol. By the sounds of it, grass is long enough for this deed lol..as of burned fingers I would tell you what helps but best not lol lol (it is not very nice way to deal with burns lol...but helps indeed)

I suppose nearly time to fire that bbq, midday is the perfect time and let's admit it has been looooong morning for ya lol

Enjoy ur day girl and of course keep safe

LOL well wanna say that spark plug is still cooling off on my kitchen table. Guess there's no real hurry to get it since It's the other's sides of this place to mow next so gives me 2 weeks to get. LOL wasnt quite sure what a scythe was and had to look it up. LOL yeah guess that would save on gas and maintenance a lot and may go look one up. LOL

Just got out of the shower and thinking about a cold one. It's a little pass noon here and grilling won't be happening for a good couple hours. Just took some brats and those Louisiana ribs out of the freezer. Them ribs are sealed air tight in a thick plastic wrap so will be visiting a sink full of hot water later. LOL Yup be thawed in like 10 or 15 minutes tops. And them brats are always boiled in beer first before hitting the grill so frozen ain't a problem there either. And Yup you can bet that them ribs will be seasoned up first with that "mad dog and merill's" seasoning salt and that spicy barbecue sauce of theirs while hitting the grill. Yeah farmers market was good for that and the buffalo steak which will be hitting the grill too. Hell you just know I won't be cooking again for a week. LOL Lol Lol

Well 12:38 and looks like miller time.

hi thank you for your kind words

Yo,

The church is always open ........

Gambling in my opinion is the symptom not the cause . Well it is for me at any rate .

gaming was an escape from all my other addictions , but most of all the distorted thinking and constant churning going on in my head .

Loosing myself in front of a machine gave me temp release although as we both know the aftermath made everything sooooooooooo much worst .

To fight I suppose we have to find away to think that their is some good in us , that we are not bad people .

That how we view ourselves is not the way that other people view us . But more importantly do we put too importance into what people think about us.

My sister said to me once you are your own worst enemy and I think about that every day, the lack of self belief , the self sabotage and impending doom that we try to prepare ourselves for day in day out .

Writing it sounds like am am mentally deranged , which maybe I am .

We can I believe advise others, nature others , care for others, but at the end of the day we are pretty cra P at treating ourselves that way.

Once we do everything in our life improves .

Rattled on long enough , maybe this rainy Saturday morning ( just finished my night shift) it can be the start of realising that we are as worthy as the next Jack .

Hope you have a good day , and like I said and will continue to say be kind to you , because one things for sure once we do and start to value ourselves life improves

Shiny cxxx

'Thank you for being you'

xxx

Oh up and almost moving. LOL no head banger today but who knows about tomorrow. LOL Yup 2 days off yet and never say never I guess. Hope your day is good to ya.

Hey and thanx for your kind words xx

Dear diary,.

Feel a bit out of place today.After the recent events I fully expect it. Need to learn to forgive myself. Life is one awesome thing if we look at it in correct way. Full of possibilities and opportunities. They say - Peace to the world...I say - peace to yourself first.

I do make wrong choices as I walk this path. Tripping and falling is part of it..I want to learn my lessons and don't repeat them again. I want to mk friends with myself cause if I don't I will not make things better, only worse.

I want t forgive myself for my shortcomings and hopefully I will be forgiven from the ones I care for..I am working on it.

No gamble today. Day 4..sight...lol..keep them coming

S x

Hi S

Hey yesterday has gone copupt finished whatever we call it but it's GONE today is now Sandra we have today

Life is too short for regrets ok yo have slipped but you are on day 4 and tomorrow you will be on day 5

It's hard to forgive ourselves but we have to let go of yesterday so that we can move on just think of today and then tomorrow think of that as one day

It's hard to think positive but you have such lovely qualities I have seen them in your posts to me you are not selfish you are lost within yourself

You can find your way you must never give up giving up

Forgiveness does come from others when they know we are truly trying and committed to STOPPING

Sandra stop punishing yourself and start forgiving yourself everything else will fall into place

You are a lovely kindhearted lady just believe in yourself

This awful addiction that is gambling self destructs us and more please don't let it destroy you anymore

You have had enough punishment now so as I said at the beginning of this post just let it go

I hope I don't sound too heavy but I do not want you to go under

Take care

Suzanne xx

Ok girl, quit counting them dam days cause yeah makes ya feel like your just spinning your wheels. Move on don't think about it and before ya know it another year will have past, then 2 and 3 and yeah you got the picture. The more thought put into breaking away just puts you away. Go live life like you want it and yeah don't let nothing get in your way.

Thank you girls, you both rang so much true and I took every word on board.

...And yes boss soul lol lol, me no counting days.

So diary,

Today is better than yesterday and that's all what matters. Met up with my sis and little nephew, went to the seaside for the day. He is such a lovely boy, I love to see him smiling and having fun. Even if I was a bit quieter than usual, my face soon broke into natural smile...rides, adventures and even volleyball on the beach with my sis!! (That's a sensational thing to do to mrs Posh lol) we all had a good day...and I think we all needed day like that 🙂 God bless their hearts

All good here

Choosing life

S x

LOL LOL LOL see how simple that is, and didn't hurt a bit either I take it. Keep it going girl, there's lot more of that stuff called life out there. Lol

Hi S

Choosing life sounds great way to go,

Why should you play something that has already beaten you it's like banging your head against a brick wall

I read on one diary that if you can give as much to stopping as we did to gambling we can't go wrong makes sense

Have a great gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Thanx again :-))

Dear diary,

Today is better than yesterday (I will keep saying that cause it helps lol). Stick I beat myself wiv is broken in two and chucked away. Proud to rejoin the race of living.

Day at a time

Take care all

S x