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Hi S

Thankyou for your supportive words on my diary

Still feel anxious like I have done something wrong but I haven't strange feelings but I have rose above the situation faced the day and got through it

I know I will have tough days like everyone else we just have to ride them out

You are doing sooo well don't let anyone or anything get you down it's just not worth it (she says slightest negative stresses me lol)

We are winning cos we are not playing

Suzanne xx

Hi thanks for post and good for you love reading your posts

Hey all and thank you

Nothing said...Just day at a time..

Good morning diary,

Hell what a evening last night and head felt out of place for a good while. .guilt and all the S***e coming with it.Am I really a bad person having this problem? But then again..I am in recovery so that means I try to be a better person....hmmm.head still out of it, best t move on before I said or insulted others too much.

No gambling and that's what matters the the most for today.

take care all

S.x

Hi S

You are doing great

It's tough when we have all these negative thoughts and feelings can make us very vulnerable but you are doing it Sandra staying strong and riding all the /////

No gambling and that's what matters the most for today is SPOT on go for it

Suzanne xx

Yo,

Uhmmmmm , am I bad person having this problem ????

Am I ??????

You see I really do not see that way .

Yes I am ashamed about my behaviour in the grips of any one of my compulsions but do not see myself as bad .

Wished more times than I've had hot dinners that I was not me , but well that ain't gonna happen lol

Everyday we fight , everyday we try to be stronger than our addiction. More often than not we win that daily battle , but it is soooooo much more than not having a bet . The addicts distorted thinking can play havoc with their well being . The addiction always chipping away to try to break down our defences .

It hates positivity , it hates us feeling ok/ good about ourselves as our cracks are shored up .

Having said that , we have spent so long devaluing ourselves that it hard to break the habit of a life time .

Just lately I am beating myself up for beating myself up ........ Bonkers

Hun , your doing great , keep it at. get through today and fight tomorrow's battle tomorrow .

Till then I will be kind to me if you do the same .

On that note when I was in rehab they suggested that when you go to sleep at night , find 3 positives from your day, ending the day on positive they believed set the seed for the next day .

Obviously all the above is just my opinion of the whole addiction thingy , sure plenty would disagree but that's their choice. As Rachel used to say take what you want and bin the rest .

Thinking bout you , right off to unload to my councillor .

Shiny xxxxx

girl enough of the stink tank already, cloudy cr-ap in there and no need to have your head in all that. Pull that head out,brush off them turds and see yourself for the awesome person you are. Hell you been doing great and don't be telling yourself no different.

Yup be a long day at work and up way to late. Kicked back with a cold one and some how just know it will be a early night. No not even a chance of wasting me cash and way to much going on to even think it. Kids seem to spend it way faster than I make it anyways. LOL guess my boy feels It's Christmas more than a couple times a year and happy to give it to him when i can I guess. Lot more gratitude come out of him than any machine and Yup feels better too. LOL

So yeah girl have a great day and talk soon.

Hi Sis,

I got home earlier today and set out writing long drawn out posts and then worried about how they might sound so logged out. I must have done this at least 5 times. I got a lot off my chest without insulting half the forum. Lol! Anyway, I'm with Soul and Shiny. We don't need to feel bad. We already feel bad enough. We need to feel good. You're not good Sis. You're GGGGGGGRRRRREEAT!!!!! ((((((((S)))))))))) -joanxxxxx

Hi Sandra,

Don't feel bad hun, looks like you have lots of friends and support on here.

I really appriciate the post on my diary and words mean so much when you are in a downer.

Thanks again Sandra

Womble xxx

Hey girl and yeah weather around here feels like winter is on its way. LOL HELL only like 65 here, windows slamed shut, under that blanket and for sure that witches thing of a Bob would be warmer. LOL LOL LOL

Hope all is good with ya girl and weekend ain't coming soon enough on this end of the world. It may be cold outside but sure don't stop them frosty ones from going down to the inside. LOL Yup just chilling. LOL LOL LOL

Hi S

Hope you are ok and staying strong and kicking those nasty urges away

Take care

Suzanne x

Hey Wee Pal,

Just catching up with what's been going on.....sounds like things have been a bit up n down- hopefully more "up" today 🙂

Please remember that you are working really hard to maintain the changes you've chosen- it is worth it!

I'll be in touch very soon......

take care

Irene

x

Dear diary,

Haven't been posting for a while but kept pretty close by this site. Why? I suppose it will be my medicine for the rest of my life. Like minded folks sharing their thoughts.

I asked if I'm bad person having this problem in my last post. Shiny put it perfectly and hammered into my head other wise. Maybe I'm not, maybe I just still keep that bat close by and try to self inflict pain as I do. I am not a bad person and none of us are. We only been gripped by this addiction, but doing our best to put it all right and kick it out of our lives...and rightly so - there is no place for it in our lives.

Thank you Duncs for your encouraging words, something amazing wish pushed me back to posting, back to reality. As always you mange to put that smile on my face 🙂 will visit your tread later on today.

Thank you Ryan, some "strict" thoughts last night...but yes, I am listening my friend, I am always listening. Don't work too hard and will b back in touch soon 🙂

And lastly, my dear fighter Carla. I know you Don't post here this much anymore. I also know that soldiers missed your presence in these pages. I am glad you are well, really am and hope you will allow yourself well needed rest and peace soon. Proud to walk the walk with ya.

I thank you all who posted to me and all of you behind the forum walls. I never been surrounded by so many lovely souls. I never had true friends and massive void on that front been filled with all of you. I don't need to try and fit in, you all accept me the way I am. Thank you.

Diary, coming to the third week g free. It is getting easier, I am not obsessed with thinking about slots. Life still going up and down, like for everyone. Dealing with it and even if hav to suck many blows on a way, I rise back up and try again. Life is for living, no point of wasting it away.

Day off today, gonna pick up my beautiful nephew from school and spend some time catching up. Next week is his last week before summer holiday. I will give him as much of my spare time as I can. Kids grows up too quick, I want to be a part in his childhood memories, and only good ones.

Just checking in...still battling and moving on. Thank you all once again and I shall post back later on this evening.

Take care

Day at a time

Sandra xx

Ps. Soul - count down is in order lol..nearly there and weekend is yours...yep yep sun will b shining your way!!..patience lol 🙂

What lovely words you write Sandra x

Thank you so much for posting on my diary...when you are feelng low, makes such a difference to hear such positive words.

Thankyou again.

Love Sue xx