...

What an incredible journey you have been on. You seem really happy and that's great to see. Well done!

Hi S

What such determination and positivity am proud to be a long side of you on this roller coaster ride of recovery

Enjoy

Suzanne xx

Hiya Sandra

Really pleased your upbeat and positive and not letting this addiction mind f**k you , keep looking at the big picture whee you were and where you are right now , keep concentrating on the positives in your life

Enjoy your upcoming holidays

Castle2

I am glad things are working out for you. Thanks so much for continuing to think of me, despite the lack of response.

Hi Sandra,

It was really nice to read that last post, I hope that positivity stays with you for a long time to come. Holidays are here, and seeing the family for the first time in a while will also hopefully be great for you.

So proud of you my friend,

Ryan x

Hi S

Just popping in to say hope you are enjoying your hols

And staying Sane ish lol

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hey girl and hope your enjoying that vacation. Hell you paid off your one and only loan? Yup you just know that makes me jealous cause still working on mine. LOL jealously aside good for you and way to go. Hope everything is is going your way vacation wise and having the time of your life.

Hey all and thank you so much...replies after i touch the ground of the UK :-))))))

So, entertaining day today...hmmm..find out that my ex who i met not long ago is havin a child wiv my worst enemy lol lol..heyyy!!! S***e happens for sure and just maybe i deserve it... Anyway, on more positive note - no gambling but temptations are everywhere. I can't believe i get these bloody urges...annoying for sure..

Just spoke to sis about my addiction. Hell, wot a conversation. All i have got was "so i can't even get mortgage wiv u cause u gonna gamble it away". That took me aback and i asked her if she hates me..she says no...something i don't believe in. I told her about my last relapse which cost me quite a bit...you know the face expression. ..d**n...how many shoes, dresses and handbags she could of bought...hmmmm....here my question came in "do u think u ain't got a shopping addiction? "...that must of hit her...yep it did.

Life is for living and not wasting it on some selfish actions.

"Play the life, pause the moment, stop the hate"...something I've seen in a shop window today..rang some true.

Anyway, want to thank soul, Ryan, Julie, Carla for staying close by and getting in touch unconditionally while I'm away xxxxx.

Spk soon guys, for now.....over and out 😉

Stay safe and keep beating the **** out of this beast..we can do it!!!!!

S x (((((All)))))

Hi Sandra,

Glad to read you are still gamble free and continuing to make progress kicking the backside of this addiction. After all the support you've offered me, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who should be thanking you!

Hope that comment from your sister didn't sting too much, but I guess it is something that people who haven't experienced gambling might think. Have you ever looked at her after buying shoes, dresses and handbags and thought about everything you could buy that you like with that money?

We all have different priorities in life, and the most important thing is that as long as your priority isn't gambling, then you are on the right track.

Ryan x

Hey thanx Ryan,

Hmmmm...who is Laura? lol..am i being edited...again!!!?? lol...heh..no worries gc staff, i am cutting down on swear words 😉

Hey diary,

Well, finally got day for myself and first thing i've done this morning was going for a long run..yep, went through my old school, old park i used to go when i was little...everything has changed...maybe cause i grew up now? Since it is big city where my parents live, i don't get much rest. Simply not used to sounds and all that lol. Casinos....hmmm...hell they are everywhere!!!! every single corner, and i tell you what..i do want to go inside.Absolutely madness and i do get mad with myself for getting these urges and i don;t get why i have them, but i do not act upon those thoughts. I hav had enough about 3 weeks back...i fed the beast and i gave my soul away for a 3 hrs...i am not going back there, not today that's for sure.

Hope all my pals doing well, cannot go over all of your posts, since my time is nearly up and i hav to go lol. (internet cafe is lovely place to be heh...but too busy for me). anyway, stay safe all, enjoy everything what you have, no need anything more..it is out there in front of you.

Take care

Sandra x

Hi S

Thanks for your continuing support

I hope you are having a fantastic time out there

Great to read a positive and happy post from you

Take care around those casinos lol

Stay safe

Suzanne xx

Hi Sandra... it crosses my mind that the gambling beast is rather like the Sarlacc dessert monster out of Return of the Jedi.

Glad to read that your not feeding it anymore. Warm regards... S.A 🙂

Hey Sis!

Thanks for dropping in on me. It sounds like you are in a good place right now. You deserve to be happy. ((((Sis)))) -joanxxx

Hey thanx all xxx

Diary,

Back in the saddle and the routine coming bk round quicker than expected. .

was thinking tonight while on a flight..the triggers, "routine" and what life is all about. I am my worst enemy. I do get myself into states i find very hard to climb out from. I feed negativity and seemingly give up on everything.

I had a good holiday with family... A chance to sit back on some days and watch that buzzing and rushing world around. "Normal" people and their day. I am not even sure what normal is...

I know i need a change. Without it I'm going round in circles and not progressing as i should do. Break the cycle and look ahead. So many possibilities and peace is around, so many people who care... i was selfish so not long ago i can't even put it down to words..

Best to get busy living as our dear friend Blondie says. The world is our oyster...

No gambling and hope me coming bk to "paradise" (lovely work of course) lol not gonna trigger any thoughts..am feeling ok at the minute, as always. ..day at a time 🙂

Hope all the soldiers has got the strength, determination and belief intact..You know u can make your lives the most beautiful place to be 😉

Let's do it!!!!!!!!

..Goodnight diary.

Morning Sandra

Really great post, it is strange when we have time to reflect, how clear everything can be. Then the mist comes down... pleased you enjoyed your holiday and keep fighting my dear supportive friend.

Dark Place