Going to keep this thread now!

hey f ..

Your advice worker sounds a good sort hun and yes bounce -back- ability should be a word for sure as if I had a dictionary and looked it up...i'd see your name!! ; )......

keep posting f....i've never done this chat as i'm not sure my pad is geared up for it and Ive no idea how to install adobe or whatever i need to do it...so its GC an facebook for me...

(((hugs))0

R and D

xxx..

Hi Freda,

Thank u 4 ur post 🙂

I hope it all goes ok 4 u.... U deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

U r a strong person Freda!

Have a gr8 wknd xxxxxxxx

Hey Hunny bunny,

You may have been terrified at the docs but if you need to take someone with you maybe its time to ask for a second opinion or a change of docs to one who may be a bit more sympathetic to you hun.

At least your not letting things lie and your fighting for yourself i know its exhausting for you hun but keep going and dont let anyone walk all over you.Especially this tiresome government who are determined to make the old,young,ill and single mums suffer.

I think you have as many t-shirts as i do hun lol but things are looking ok for me atm,have spent the last four weeks working full time and have ploughed the extra money into getting on top and about a week ahead of my bills, go back down to part time hrs next week so money will be tight again.

Turn 41 in a couple of weeks boo hoo but have come along way in a year thanks to wonderful people like you :0)Thanks for all your continued support my lovely we will do the warrior cry together.I got your back hun.

Keep fighting and reminding yourself how strong you actually are.

((((((((((((((((((((f))))))))))))))))))))))

Staying Strong

L xx

Ah thanks Libbers : ) I have a mental image of you beating your chest like tarzan, then wincing because it hurts when you have boobies, lol.

I am really good at getting the most out of counselling. I have become so familiar with the process over the years, that it doesn't really matter for me who is sat in the chair opposite. I can just pour it out, no P**s*ng about. Don't need to build up a trusting relationship, just launch straight into it!

It is for this reason, that I feel very lucky, in a convoluted kind of way, that my counsellor has gone off on the sick, after 10 of our 12 sessions. This means, I get re-referred and can have 12 with someone new. Starting this afternoon with a new one : )

So that will total up to almost 6 months of free counselling. Great for what I am going through right now.

Appeal sent off regarding the disability benefits, so fingers crossed. Trying to just put it out of my mind for now.

It's a shame, because after losing my job, our household is almost £400 a month worse off. So in this way, I am not experiencing the true benefit of not gambling anymore. I was probably wasting around £40-£50 per week on average, and should feel relatively rich had I not lost my job. However, obviously if I were still gambling I would be getting into some pretty serious debt right now. I am also proud that I have not gambled out of panic and financial pressure. That is something that is easy to do, if you feel you have nothing to lose.

Was saying to hubby the other day - what would you do, if you had £40 in your pocket, and unless you had £200 by tomorrow to give to the loan shark, you were going to get both of your legs broken? or if you were at risk of repossession, and the same scenario applied, except instead of 2 broken legs you would be homeless? Even a non-compulsive gambler would probably gamble it, so desperation really does feed this addiction. I thank my lucky stars I got out before things got that bad.

f signing off, feeling pretty lucky to have f**k all. Because it is better than having minus f**k all!

PS - Graham - a similar agency has helped me with my application and appeal, so hopefully that gives me a better chance.

Hi Freda,

Thanks for posting on my diary and for continuing the journey with me, it really helps. I don't post so often now, I guess the way we use the diaries changes each step we take.

Sorry to hear about your experience at the Doctors, that must have been awful but MASSIVE congratulations for going there and standing up for yourself. Reading back through your diary the old freda might never have been able to do it. You are so much stronger now.

High fives this morning to you my dear!!!!!

Take care

Paulds

Hi Freda... Have just been catching up with your diary. I relate to much of what you say. You seem strong in recovery. I hope you get a positive outcome with your appeal. Take care and thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

Just echoing what others have posted freda.

Good on you sticking up for yourself.

Best wishes and well done for abstaining through all this.

W.P

. cheers f xx

No worries bub ; )

Had no internet for 2 days grr. Changing providers, and so far, the landline number we have been given is for victim support!!! that is definitely not our flat, although the amount I have been drained by over-indulgent victims in recent years, you would think it! The universe definitely has a sense of humour ; )

I am not referring to anyone on Gamcare though! I never feel drained by you guys : )

I keep dreaming that I have gambled, and it feels really real. Must have had this dream 3 times in the last week. I have been having low-level urges lately like lotto etc. so hope this is not a sign my resolve is very thin.

bub..lol xx love it

hi hun..I dont think your resolve is thin..youre probably just a bit tired thats all..HALT as they say and make sure you rest.

Sometimes dreams can be the psychees dustbin..just dumping stuff whilst you sleep...in your wake state you are strong hun xx

gambling dreams....like any blood sucking vampire ....soon as your awake and in the light they turn to dust.

Guards up....garlic ..torch and the forum ...

R and D xx

Hi Freda,

I have had a few dreams b4 but where I have been playing the machines and lost a lot of money then I wake up and I am always relieved when I realise it was a dream!

U r such a strong person, a lot of ppl who would have gone thru the same tough times as u would have crumbled. U r inspirational. I believe in u 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xxxxxxxx

Thanks Charlotte and dotty,

Just checking in to say I haven't gambled. Am really poorly with depression again, I can hardly think straight. My head is full of cotton wool.

I will not be gambling anytime soon regardless.

Hi Freda... sorry to hear that your feeling poorly at the moment but congratulations on maintaining your abstinence from gambling. Get well soon and take care... S.A 🙂

hey Freda...

sending hugs hun ((((keep warm))

Keep posting...always great to hear your thoughts xx

R and D xx

Hi Freda,

I am sorry 2 read that u r struggling atm, I just wanted 2 say that I am thinking of u 🙂

Stay strong xxxxxxxxx