Going to keep this thread now!

I heard something so heartbreaking today. A frontline member of staff at our local job centre recently attempted suicide, due to the pressure on him to sanction peoples benefits etc.

That poor man. Shame on those evil Tories.

With all of the massive hurdles I am facing right now, it is somewhat baffling to me that I am focused on my ex-best friend. God, I sound like a fourteen year old! ex-best friend! but only because adults don't usually dispose of each other so casually.

I guess perhaps the mind gravitates to a manageable, bite-sized nugget of pain rather than deal with the big boulders.

I have just had a resurgeance of anger about how sheet she has been. Even after dropping me like a steaming t**d, I still sent her daughter something for her birthday, and she didn't have the decency to even acknowledge it.

And members of my family who treat me like sheet too. I have never done anything to deserve that, and it makes me angry.

I envy so much, people who can feel their anger but then let it go. I have always struggled with this. I can still feel angry about things that happened years ago, and it's not healthy.

Perhaps it's just displaced anger. It's not really about her today, but it's easier to attribute my anger to her. The real, free floating anger about pishing against the wind and going in circles, is shapeless. It does not have a single perpetrator. It is "the system", "the government". You cannot give "the system" a good telling off, and dressing down.

Ugh. Lots going on in my world, emotionally. Rambling helps. And wine.

Hey f ...keep dumping the trash out

I think your right there about displacing anger...I always think of that film "Crash" and "Sandra Bullocks character ....and how she said she is just angry all the time ...

Bad and ugly stuff has always gone on..it's just that now we now more about it and are overwhelmed by it so like you say we then displace it on smaller things that we feel we have some sort of control over...

At Heart I'm a revolutionist....I want radical change .not just tweaking a limping system that was set up and designed and funded to fail anyway..but trash the lot and start again...small scale ,community driven .

I worry more for people who can't feel or show anger...boy is THAT a time bomb waiting to go off..

As they say...the judge of a society is how it treats or cares for its weakest members...

As Tracy Chapman sings ...talking about a revolution..which sadly doesn't happen when people are at their most downtrodden and no energy...revolutions happen when folk gather some strength and then can see the injustices that have happened.

I see it on here all the time...folks coming on to the forum..broken and downtrodden on both sides and then after a few months in recovery their voice gets stronger and the anger comes out...they get their fight back...

As they say in the rooms...let it begin with me ...you have a spark and who knows how many people that can Inspire into action...

You must be a redhead xx

Ps ..signed my pals fb e- petition about room taxation on the disabled....unreal ! Xx

R and d xx

Know just what you mean about 'pishing against the wind'

Was a time it felt like we could make changes. I was involved in all the marches and sit ins in the sixties but nowadays they even have that tied up with the bans on demonstrating etc and feels we are impotent to make change happen especially for the vulnerable. I seem to alternate between depression and anger at the moment, not healthy or beneficial to anyone. Having said that did sign a petition recently which achieved stopping a bank taking action against demonstrators.

Sorry ranting on your diary, not good but do hope you manage to resolve some of your problems very soon.

Also had long red hair (white now) think it does indicate a certain fiery nature even if dyed as mine was in the latter years.

xxx

Ah thanks gurlies xx

I'm doing OK really. Feel so much better after going for some healing today. The lady I got, didn't know what was going on in my life right now, and when she was finished she said "f*****g hell, what's been happening??? to say you needed that, is the understatement of the century!" She just says it like it is, no boo sheet. Someone there sat with me for a while to chat too. Just genuine concern, as he had heard what

was happening and just wanted to help. Lovely people.

I'm trying to put everything else to one side, ready for my job interview on Monday. It is just a good opportunity that I want to make the most of. I don't want the anxiety and stress of everything else that is going on, getting in the way.

Thanks so much for your support, it is very much appreciated especially when I get in one of my low moods as feel self centred and selfish until I climb out.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow, I am sure interview will be fine as you come across as having confidence in your views and being strong and determined will get them across no problem.

Sending hugs and calmness by the ton load.

xxx

Interview went ok - was one of those ones where it's impossible to tell how it went. It wasn't very in depth. I'm glad my nerves didn't get in the way, but kicking myself for not answering one of the questions as well as I could have. Was one of those scenario-based what would you do? things. I would have been better saying I would pass the query over to someone else - it's your instinct in an interview to always sound helpful, but I think they were looking for someone to recognise what is and isn't their job, so they could delegate and get on with their own work.

As Cher sang "if I could turn back time..." but I can't, so I shall chalk it down to experience, let it go, and keep my fingers crossed.

Hi Freda,

Joan here. I have never commented on your posts before but, I am an avid reader. I appreciate your outlook on things in general and just wanted to say I am hoping that you get this position!! -joanxx

Hey Hun

Just checking in ..don't worry Ive done post mortems too ..it's always hard to know what they want and you have a good a chance than anyone who went for that job.

As J said , always reading and always lots of food for thought in your posts

Hugs

R and d xxx

Hi Freda,

Thanks so much for your posts and I think you was bang on about my brother its his way of dealing with it or not as the case may be. I am trying to as dot says just stand in my own truth and do what is right and supports my mum.

I hope your hear some positive news re the interview , they may have been looking for someone with initiative so you could of answered in the way they were looking for, and if not like you say put it down to experience for next time.

Take care

Blondie xxx

Fingers,toes and paws ....all crossed x

Thank you lovelies!

Guess what....?????!!!!!!

: )

You only went and did it ?

Xxx

That's fantastic news , well done you, so pleased for you. See you thought you could of done better and in fact you did better than everyone else.

Brilliant news Freda. Thanks so much for the post And it is some comfort to here such a positive outcome for your mum.

Thank you

Blondie xxxxx

White smoke at the Vatican? Xx