Going to keep this thread now!

So good to hear you had a better day, I wouldn't survive without my friends understanding when I withdraw for a while.

After GP advised me to apply for DLA they threw it out a couple of weeks ago despite can hardly walk and have degenerative disease, think you have to be on deaths door to get anything these days. Same at work, we have to provide a service with less and less available and then when a baby dies the media descend on us and then they wonder why half the team is off sick with stress.

Sorry shouldn't rant on your diary but feel you understand. Aappreciate your words of encouragement very much.

xxx

Hey there f

just to answer your question ...I believe that cap gains is due only for the time your property is rented out and also you can get letting relief ...up to 40k I think.

So if you come to sell your house after its been rented out they will spilt it into 2 comprising of the rented period and also the period you yourself lived there as a principal residence .You would only be taxed on the rented period .

After 2 months you wouldn't be charged ..it applies more to people who rent their places out long term or landlords with multiple properties who then come to sell .

Also had a rant today over the system ...some days you gotta do it xx

R and d xx

Thinkin about what you said about not being able to make changes and the unhappiness too difficult to manage. Just wanted to say I bet (oops) you made a huge difference where you worked. A lot of my cases it is the people who have the time and really care about, not for, them that they appreciate and often make a significant difference just by listening and understanding, which you will have had in bucket loads. That is also a gripe of mine that time is a resourse too and we never have enough these days as paperwork takes priority which is complete b*****ks.

I am sure between us we could fill pages with endless rants about this but I guess if the anger is directed somewhere the brain is occupied and the focus away from spending sprees so just hoping that the problems you are dealing with get resolved very soon and you can begin to look forward to the better things in life.

xxx

Thanks lasses : )

Well, have been asked to go and meet with occ health on Wednesday. Mint. Hopefully it will just be an 'is there anything we can do to support you?' thing.

I have the worst cold I have had in many, many years. I have a sore throat, ear ache, shivering, aching all over, headache. Ugh! Almost, but not quite, the actual flu. Kept going to sleep yesterday, as it was too painful to be awake! bless. Have had a shower and washed my hair this morning, so seem to be on the mend now.

Hubby was an awesome nurse. He said he quite enjoyed looking after me! lol. He is still chewed about his job. It has been a whole month now, and still no details about his options - which I think is a bit P**s poor. It's not on to leave people hanging like that. We were saying this morning, that even if they had said we are going. You have to come with, full time, or it's redundancy of £xxxx - at least we would know where we stood, and would be able to get on with our lives.

No way am I gambling with all of this going on. Will just make things worse.

So sorry you are poorly. last thing you need with everything else going on but these bugs are definitely doing the rounds at the moment.

Thanks for your advice, I will challenge their decision but amazing the energy it takes to just get round to doing that when trying to work as well. I worked at Terence Higgins the HIV support charity a few years back and you reminded me that even then it was how you phrased things when applying for DLA for people that were ill. At least I think my manager has realised that he was taking the P*** and has eased up a bit so may even manage to stay at work a bit longer. Hate this getting old business.

Know just what you mean about that limbo feeling about future plans so hope sorted really soon.

Whisky and honey I find best medicine for a cold so stay warm and thankyou again for supporting me so much.

xxx

Just sending get well wishes and hope you are not still too poorly to enjoy the easter break.

xxx

Ah thanks re,

Well time for a little off load, then can get on with my day.

Lots going on with me, emotionally. I am starting to really struggle with the situation regarding hubbys work. We discussed it last night, and for both of us, it is not knowing our options. We are still waiting to see if the boss lady agrees to a working pattern that would see him 2 nights a week in Manchester and would allow me to stay here, and give this new job a decent go. If she says 'no' we really need to know our options. Still no details on relocation package figure, OR severence package. That is stuff we need to know in order to decide what to do, and it's really starting to pish me off, that they are STILL not saying when we will get that info. The job move could be in as little as 2 months so it's ridiculous.

We decided that if his manager has no news today, he will email the head of hr, and the union expressing his concerns, and stating how much of a negative effect it is having on us. Asking for some answers.

Everything in my life feels like it is looming really close too. Tomorrow I go to see occupational health, on Monday I am supposed to be starting my job if they give the green light tomorrow, and on Tuesday I have my DLA appeal tribunal. My confidence is still really shaky, and I'm feeling scared about having to face so many things way out of my comfort zone. However, all I can do I guess, is acknowledge that fear, accept it, and try. I have a track record of not coping with jobs, and having to go off sick due to anxiety. Then I usually lose my job. Everytime I fail to cope with a job due to anxiety, it dents my confidence further. I feel frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness. I think in general, I am at a point where I have a really good chance of coping with it this time - BUT with everything else going on in the background, I feel less resilient and robust. The other worries are sort of weighing me down. It's like if all I had to deal with, was the possibility of moving to Manchester with him, and the resulting upheaval of getting the flat tenant-ready, and renting it out - I could cope. If all I had to deal with, was this new job, I could cope. If all I had to deal with, was my appeal hearing I could cope. It feels like everything all at once is overwhelming. I'm not sure I can cope with all of the above at once.

Something else today, that just tugged at me in an emotional pain way, was seeing that my cousin had been on a lush "family holiday" with my brother and his kids. It's that feeling of being excluded, left out, not good enough, not welcome. It stings. Truth is, I don't feel comfortable around my family. They always adopt a pack mentality, and pick off the weakest member of the herd - me. It is far better to not be around them, and that is a choice that I make to keep myself safe. It still smarts though. My cousin has stopped responding to anything I say on Facebook, and has stopped sending birthday cards etc. even though I have done nothing to her, and I still send them to her. It feels unfair, and if I were to do the same it would be commented on. I'm best off without the lot of them. They are unreasonable people, and if the reason she has been blanking me is because I fell out with my brother, then that is unreasonable and stupid. She has taken his side without even speaking to me, and decided to start ignoring me. That is the behaviour of a right t**t in my book.

Anyway, those are my feelings today, laid out and examined, not kept inside. Now I will get on with my day, allowing myself to feel these feelings, without trying to escape them in any way.

Occupational health went fine. The woman was lovely, and I actually recognised her from years ago when she used to do the same job for the local council.

She just wanted to meet with me face to face, to make sure I was OK and currently managing my condition reasonably. We spoke about how my anxiety may temporarily flare up when I first start, but that if so it will be a very temporary thing that will sort itself out. She said that was understandable and fair enough, and she just needed my permission to tell hr that I have a disability covered by the Disability Discrimination Act - which is actually a really good thing for me. They would have to make reasonable adjustments first, before firing me if I became unwell. She doesn't have to disclose to them what it is, just that I have one.

Am relieved that I've been given the green light, without them needing to contact my GP - as I have been exaggerating things during appointments, in order to give me the best possible case for DLA (which I absolutely do fit the qualification criteria for, but at the moment that is not enough because of this attack on disability by the government, I would never apply for benefits that I didn't need. If at the moment you have to exaggerate, to get your needs met - so be it. Shame on them for putting people in that position in the first place) So it would be awkward if they asked him how my mental health was...He would probably tell them I was in a right state!

Having a continuation of problems with family members, which is causing some low level hurt and upset - but it has always been that way to be honest, I just expose myself to it as little as possible. The birth of my brothers baby and my Dads recent operation, has meant I have had to have more contact than usual, but hopefully not for too much longer. I would almost bet my life on them not having any more kids.

So pleased for you, can we swop OH doctors, remember mine was a total d**k last month.

Quite funny at work as I have managed to do everything they have thrown at me and more but while I was away they have forgotten to upgrade my computer when they did everyone else's as I have a special keboard and voice activation etc and told today it will all shut down on 15th April unless I get an upgrade before then.

Sounds like you might need the union to push about work move, I have found them really helpful when I was assaulted at work but I guess it varies. Two months is nowhere near enough time to get sorted if you do have to up sticks and move, can't believe they don't know what plan is at this late stage.

Same here with family problems but trying to squash at the back of my mind at the moment.

Think you said job starts soon so hope goes really well for you and you enjoy it.

xxx

xxx

Hi Freda

Glad it went well at occupational health and just wanted to limp by lol and say I hope it goes well at the new job I know you might be AWOL for while but will be thinking about you and sending lots of positive vibes for what will be a another big milestone crossed for you.

Brilliant be proud Freda.

Take care

Blondie xxx

Well, starting work tomorrow! Little bit nervous, but excited too.

Just went on Facebook this morning, to see my ex-best friend had posted a bunch of photos of "old friends" and had tagged everyone in them except me. I mean really? The woman is almost 34. One of which included a photo from my wedding party! granted I wasn't actually in it, but for goodness sake! I really am well rid. Can't believe people can be so callous, and drop you like a hot brick, the moment you are no longer of any use to them.

P*ssed me off a wee bit. But on with today.

All the best for tomorrow Freda... thoughts are with you.. warm regards... S.A 🙂

With friends like that who needs enemies, what an unkind person she is.

Hope today went as you would have hoped, was thinking of you.

xxx

Hi Freda,

Just popping buy to say hope the job is going well.

Take care

Blondie xxx

Aw thanks yous guys!!! :)))

What a WEEK! We have fitted a years worth of drama into a week, in the Freda house this past few days.

Work went great Monday : ) Was so relieved to notice how much I have lucked out on this front. Told my manager about my disability, and just said it shouldn't affect my work, but might do slightly in the first few weeks, as it can flare up during times of big change and stress etc. and she was lovely, and said that she wasn't bothered (as in she doesn't have a problem with that) and just told me to let her know if I need her to help in any way. EVERYONE is friendly and approachable. I know what you are thinking - but no, surely there's always one? Doesn't seem to be. Plus because in my role, I am off doing my own thing most of the time, even if there were any office politics, I would never know about it. Really laid back environment - no one tells you when to have your break, no one comes and checks you haven't taken too long, no one comes and checks you are getting on with your work, and no one has any unrealistic expectations of you - it seems to literally be they would only notice if you were taking the pee and doing nothing. I have been taking my Valium this week, just to get the first few days in the bag, but I can't see it being necessary much longer. The work is tiring and boring - more boring than I anticipated I think - BUT after all I have been through, I still feel I have won the work lottery, finding a job where I feel emotionally safe and comfortable, with no pressure, and great conditions.

My appeal, huh, well I got a good outcome, but it was a bit of a bitter taste it left in the mouth. There were 3 people on the panel, and 2 of them, looking back, were very respectful and reasonable. However, the one who was aggressive, accusatory and nasty in tone went first. I basically freaked out, and for the rest of the hearing I was vile to all of them, and hysterically ranting at certain points. It was the way it started, with the horrible aggressive doctor - who said what is it that you actually want?! nothing seems good enough for you, you think your doctor is rubbish, you don't think the system is fair - what will help you then?!!

but in a really "you are such a spoilt brat" voice. He accused me of having researched what to write, in my appeal papers, and heavily implied that I knew exactly what to say and do to get the money. He said I was a professional(!) then when I questioned it, said he was referring to my psych degree, He claimed I was an "expert" again - w*f??!! to which I replied, if that were the case, all psych graduates would be immune from mental illness by his reasoning. He asked me what medication I should be on, if this wasn't working - again, I retorted that he was confusing a psych graduate with a qualified psychiatrist with 5 years of medical school. Throughout his attack (and I know the things he said sound like they could have been meant innocently enough, but honestly he was attacking me) he heavily implied that I was on the make, and had used my intelligence and education to figure out how to qualify for a benefit, that I didn't deserve.

Anyway, I won, but the chair of the panel told me off for my behaviour at the end! I did apologise, which the other 2 verbally acknowledged and accepted, but Mr. Right-Wing Doctor kept his mouth shut. I said that I honestly thought that everything was being twisted to try and discount my evidence, and that is what triggered me to get agitated. I thought they had been determined to say no from the start, but I was wrong and apologised. Still feel a bit funny about it now, as I don't like being mean to people like that. Also, the DWP can appeal that decision and refuse to pay me, believe it or not! but they have to do so, within one month, so a short wait to see how low they are prepared to stoop.

As for hubby. We FINALLY found out details in terms of relocation expenses, redundancy etc. and they have yet to 100% confirm that he can indeed commute and work one day from home, but said we will know for definite within 2 weeks. They also said this in front of the union rep, so we feel safe that they won't renege on this.

I have one more shift at work today, then I'm not back til Wednesday, so looking forward to having a break as it has been too intense, with everything in the balance at once.

I haven't been able to read any diaries, as my body seems to have reacted to the stress by giving me thumping migraines every day, so it has been painful to come on and update my own thread. I'm hoping my head will calm itself soon, so I can catch up with y'all.