Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda

losing the plot I think, just replied to you on my diary by mistake.

Good to hear things going well for you and you so deserve it as you say mega hard work just to function sometimes I think.

Thanks for dropping by and have a lovely afternoon.

xxx

Hi Freda... good to see a post and am happy that your feeling on top of things. Its like when you say...

"I have a job that I can do well and don't feel stressed by, enough money to live on, and things at home continue to be happy."

That's all that matters really isn't it. I also have a job that I can do well which alas is too stressful really but having said that ive made it work for me.. doing my Nvq3 etc... and the positives outweigh the negatives.

Anyway I hope things carry on going good for you. Cheers for now... S.A 🙂

Hi Freda,

I'm glad u r ok, I have so much time 4 u.. ur a strong lady 🙂

Stay strong xx

Ah thanks guys,

Yep, the basics are all that matters, and everything else is just gravy on the top.

Feeling really agitated lately. It's has attached itself to my neighbours in the flat downstairs....but I know it's not just about them, they aren't that bad. It's just channeling that way. They are a bit weird, rude and creepy, and I think it is easy to forget how uncomfortable I feel around them when it's winter, and I hardly see them. Like when I go out to mow the front lawn (which I put down and offered to mow, otherwise they were going to put down woodchips and a bench...in our front garden....like they do outside pubs....) and they knock on the window, wave, then stand and watch me mow it. It's like the twilight zone! So my agitated head is just wishing they would f**k off! and getting really upset about it. Trying to remind myself that at least they don't wake us up in the middle of the night with parties/arguments etc. isn't helping, so it's obviously just agitation that needs to come out. AAARRRRRGH!!!!

In part, I am just struggling a bit with the change in emotions re work. It is all elation when you first start somewhere where everyone seems really nice, and you feel so relieved, and lucky. I still am very hapy, but it just evens out after a while, and can feel a bit flat, after the high of getting a new job. Just life isn't it. I'm getting used to just riding these waves normally, without going out and creating my own highs and lows through gambling, when life evens out and feels a bit 'wrong'. Chaos is more familiar to me, than normality, but eventually with patience, normality will become the new norm.

Im going to have that on a t shirt ."normality will become the new norm" ...have also not been reading diaries f ...largely because I need to spew and then get guilty ....

the neighbours eh? ...you might remember doorwars from last summer ..lol ...also have to remind myself it could be worse ...w*f ..it HAS been worse which is why I moved in 2005...lol...

It must feel a bit creepy being watched mowing ,a bit voyeristic .

I can tell that something has shifted for you and work has been the tonic ..I'm off today "ill " which is true but it leaves too much time in my own head with no distractions.

Thanks for popping in to see me

R and D xx

Oops just read a really scary horror story last week about neighbours which was a bit silly as I live in a really secluded place and one of our neighbours is a bit freaky, better not write in here as someone might know him but suffice to say he has done some strange things in the past so I hear.

Think I am pretty safe as they would have to swim or walk the plank to get aboard. The first time the swans banged on the window at night though I nearly pooed myself.

Well take care, keep up the merry mowing and maybe you should wear a disguise next time, hat, dark glasses.

xxx

Hi Freda... yes my neighbours P*** me off sometimes but like you say its not necessarily because they are being noisy, sometimes its just the fact that they are "there" in the stairwell just at the exact moment that I am heading up to my flat with bags of heavy shopping or after a stressful day at work and I really really don't want to stop and chat but maybe they do! So I feel obliged to chat and yet inside I might feel agitated, but then I think well its good to get on with your neighbours so a five minute chat and being friendly is probably in my interests, so I do stop and chat.

Keep riding the agitation waves. daily irritations soon pass. Regards... S.A 🙂

HAAA!!!! oh don't give me ideas re... I could have a t-shirt made that says "what the f**k are you looking at, freak?"

It was raining really heavily all day yesterday, and was glad it meant the weirdo neighbours wouldn't be out front. I don't like social awkwardness. I have terrible social anxiety. It's when people don't know that they are being weird, that I find particularly un-nerving. The unpredictability.

I found out something quite cool on friday. It turns out 9 people in all, were interviewed for my job. I was massively flattered that I was picked out of 8 others! Very good for the old self esteem.

I wish I'd more friends who I could really relate to. I used to have loads years ago. I have some friends, but they are kind of just people who I know. I don't mean that in a nasty way, it's just I don't feel a real affinity with them. I don't find myself gassing away to them, in animated conversation. It feels like ages since I met someone who I just 'clicked' with. I really miss that.

It scares me that my husband is my only real anchor in this world. God forbid, if he dropped down dead tomorrow, I'd feel completely alone.

Rather than freak out about that, I'm just going to have it in my awareness, and do my best to push myself socially. It needs looking at.

Hi freda

I know what you mean about friends....im also socially stuck...old friends do not see me any more as in really look and understand...I am trapped in my own creation of being the strong one...typecast like a actor in the tv series friends ...lol...the wipmy one, the strong one, the quiet one....

Weak people can become strong but strong ones not weak I find.

Me nearly on a slab at xmas still didnt ring any bells as im sure my friends thought....sucicide...yeah but Rach will be ok...she always bounces back....

New people hold no interest ...the only thing I get excited with is the prospect of meeting some wise old confucious type old sage who I can learn from .....lol

Know any chinamen?

seriously though...your work will open doors and well done you ! Xxxxx

Pretty sure this post will disappear quickly, due to the people who pay for this site - a betting shop employee, who was working alone (presumably to keep costs down, and profits up) was murdered at work, yesterday morning in a bookies in London. He had 2 children and a disabled wife. Company name beginning with an 'L'.

Don't put any more money in the pockets of this s**m industry, for goodness sake.

I saw that on the petrol station news reel today ....was wondering where it was x

Just wondering if you are ok.

Further thoughts on neighbours - methinks would be good idea to mow the lawn at night in your pj's - that would def give them something to talk about. Just turn and wave in a queenly fashion when they look out the window.

Joking aside I do hope things are going as planned and job continues to be working out well for you.

xxx

Hi Freda,

I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂

Have a gr8 day xx

Hey chook .....

Have you been kidnapped by your voyueristic neighbours? ...

Just wondering if your ok f and enjoying the sun...keep slapping on the spf...

Hope work is still being a fab tonic for you and no doubt youre making some new pals and even socialising a bit.? ...must also start making more of an effort but I am in a comfortable rut......I look forward to seeing folks but then after about 10 mins im thinking riiiiight ...when are you going...lol

Laters flame haired beauty xx

Oi ! Time for an update!! ... S.A 😉