Going to keep this thread now!

Still feeling really anxious, but have not gambled.

Had a panic attack on the bus yesterday. A couple of people asked me if I was alright, which made me feel even more anxious. Hate anxiety!

Hi Freda... sorry to read that you are feeling anxious. I hope it passes soon enough. I am also feeling anxious due to the consequences of my gambling.

You have not gambled, that is a good thing. Thanks for your support... S.A

Thanks.

I'm so fed up. So f*****g fed up.

I ask my husband for more support today - can he not do any freelance for a few months while I am getting myself back on track? We'll see how it goes he says.

Because money is more important to him than my well-being. Well f*** him. f*** him. I am NOT worthless. I am more important than money. If he doesn't agree he can f*** off.

Today is 7 weeks since my last gamble.

Him indoors has acknowledged that he has a problem with prioritizing things in the right order, and apologized.

I continue to be wobbly on my feet, and anxious a lot of the time, but have recovered very well considering.

Hey Freda,

I hope you are feeling better with each passing day and anxiety levels are down.

On the other hand it's good to see I'm not the only one being "baddie" and swearing my guts out lol :-)))

let it all out and make some space for peaceful and good things. Proud of you and always fighting alongside.

Take care

S x

Thanks Sandra,

Anxiety levels are much lower and manageable now, thankfully. I'm still having my moments, but able to get out and about and function a bit more.

I've been doing something that is really quite alien to me - I've been looking after myself, being kind to myself, AND asking for help. It's like I don't even know myself anymore, lol!

So yeah, got an appointment with the counselling department at work tomorrow. I've identified that I do need some extra support for a while, and could do with a safe supportive place to offload. It always helps!

Going for some more healing on Tuesday, which I am looking forward to. It's cool that not everyone will believe in this stuff, but it helps me, so I am satisfied by that. It's a friend who only charges 15 for a whole hour, and I get more money's worth out of that than I would spending it on "stuff".

I am getting over my lack of confidence with the Reiki treatments. This feels fantastic! I have been SO NERVOUS, and yet I did it anyway and GOT THROUGH IT! Had a new client on Friday, and was really nervous, but it went really well. I love looking down at peoples faces when they have a treatment, and they look so peaceful. I get a real sense of positive purpose helping to facilitate that feeling for people.

8 weeks tomorrow since my last gamble - the weeks are stacking up 🙂

Hey Freda,

Thanx for the post. You are spot on!!!! These feelings are so alien to me and when everything goes well, it's like i am trying to ruin it on purpose. Anyway, got over yesterday and today is a new day..new chance to get used to "normal" feeling lol.

Good to see you feeling better with yourself and getting all the help available.

As of the Reiki treatment. ...good for ya!!! With time more confidence will come in that field and I'm sure you will get all the lovely benefits out of it.

Keep it up and stay safe...and peaceful - u deserve it 🙂

S x

Had a hard day yesterday with depression and anxiety, but got through it and you know what? it passes! all by itself. Without worrying, trying to fix it, or make it anything other than what it is.

Meeting a friend this afternoon for a walk around a local park. She is very supportive and helpful when I'm not feeling too great, so no worries there about am I up to it or not. I can just be.

Still no gambling of course 🙂 Today is day 52.

Hi Freda

Very well done on passing the 50 mark

Enjoy your day

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne x x

Oh god, I've got a horrible feeling something is going on with my husband. He has met a female friend in the city he now works in, and he has been moody and depressed lately. He has been off the "you know what" for ages, goes to hers after work every night that he is there, and has gone out for a "walk" to talk to her on his phone.

I think he doesn't want to tell me, because he feels guilty because of my anxiety and depression. Although I would be devastated if it was true, I can't bear not knowing.

This could all be in my head, but I just needed to write down how I feel.

Hi Freda,

Sorry to hear you are having some doubts about your husband's behaviour..try not to judge straight away, after all maybe it is that anxiety plays bigger part in it than you think. I'm sure you already sat him down and talked it through.

Be kind to you and take it steady.

S x

Thanks Sandra xx

It's worse than I thought, in a way. He is depressed. He just sits and stares into space in a foetal position for hours at the moment. When I offer support, he says "I don't want support, I don't deserve it"

I'm worried about him. He has made an appointment at the doctors, but that is 2 weeks away.

I am finding it hard to stay positive, as my own mental health has not been great of late. However, I'm damned if I'm going to gamble because of this!

Hi there,

I honestly don't know what to say. Words seems to fail me recently. I just want to offer my support and assure you that things will get better. Look after each other, listen to each over and believe in each other. Marriage is not only ring on a finger (here is me talking being single lol)..it is a pact of souls promising to be there for one other on good and bad...and i know you will do just that. Listen to your heart.

Well, now i think i best of just kept quiet lol..just wanted you to know that there is always sun coming out after the storm.

As of beast gambling - let's say it together girl: Go to hell!! And stay there forever!

Have a good day 🙂

(It was just my personal thoughts cause trust me i know nothing about marriage and all that..d**n I'm tripping on my own words here..sorry if said something wrong, i am not perfect for sure)

((((f)))) xx

Just wanted to come by today so you don't feel as lonely and lost.

Glad i did 🙂

Take a good care of you and stay safe

S x

Sounds like you are having a tough time and wanted to say that I am thinking of you.

xxx