groundhog day

Hi mark,

My heart sank reading your post, not because I am disappointed but because I know how you are feeling now. And you have my unconditional support as always.sadly for us CGs recovery I have learnt since being on here is for life, we can never have that one harmless bet, anymore, because as soon as we start, the addiction kicks in hard and strong, and all logic goes out of the window, I am pleased you have come on here and wanting to stop now, before any more damage is done, well done for realising and wanting to stop, what you can take out of this experience is knowledge of what happens when/if we do slip.

Don't be too hard on yourself please, recovery is not easy, you have done really well getting to over 6 months of being gamble free, this has to be a positive that you know you can do this, and with what you have learnt in a painful way, I know, can only make you stronger to carry on walking forwards, you are not a failure my friend, you have had a mere slip,

Walking along side with you Mark, as always. And you are not back at the start,

Sending you strength and a cuddle (((((((Mark))))))))

Suzanne xxx

Hi mark there is no need to apologize to anyone on here mate.we are all here to help each other everyone makes mistakes in life and the main thing that makes me happy is to see you back here doing your best to stay away again.i have guys at my GA meetings that have are 12 years free of a bet but have sat and told
me it took a real good few attempts to really get it.you will get there my friend,keep chin up and get those days racking up again.;-) hope to hear from you soon. Scottyboy 😉

Mark

Fella don't be too hard on yourself, I went 21 months without a bet and for three hours went back at it in a foolish attempt to fix a very temporary financial shortfall, which in three hours I made five fold worse.

Honesty brought me back to recovery, I didn't like you throw it away.

Learn from it, this is a war, in war battles will be lost, but the final outcome can still be a victory.

Your back in the saddle, ride the storm, be proud

Be kind to yourself

Side by Side with all the great folk here you will continue to win.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi mark,

Just dropping by to say I hope all is well,

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi
Mark

I think we all no the reasons we gamble. Sometimes it is easier to deal with the addiction on a day to day basis than that which is really troubling us. We are comfortable in our addiction we know how to soothe its demands. Continue to find the courage you had shown before your relapse. Follow the 12 step program there you will find both answers & solutions. Talk through your concerns with your GA sponser. It works if you work it

Hi Mark,

I'm relatively new to the forum. I gave it up for a few years and relapsed. There's a lot of wisdom in what the people advise you on here. If I'm feeling weak and getting pangs I visit here as soon as I can. I feel it's helping me greatly.

Best Wishes

Hi mark hope you are ok,pop bye and let us know.thinking bout you mate

Hi Mark,

As Scotty said drop in and let us know you are ok, thinking of you,

Take care and stay safe my friend,

Suzanne xxx

Right, im back I have to give this another go, a real go. I have been weak and selfish and can accept this can never be controlled. Tomorrow is day one and I will explain when I've cleared my head.
Thanks to all for the posts since I was last here.
mark

Hi Mark,

Welcome back to recoveries.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne, means a lot to know that you are still on here.
going to get back on here big time now before its too late. I haven't quite got back to the point I was at at my lowest ebb, but for sure things are going that way.
I let gambling back in tomy life and now can't get rid of it - I have a beautiful new baby girl but am ashamed and disgusted to say I often think about gambling before my daughter first thing on a morning and ignore my kids to watch scores.
I feel pathetic and don't want this anymore but do not have a clue how to get clean. Most of the time I just feel like giving in to it but it's not an option. It I could feel this bad all the time I know I wouldn't gamble again but what scares me to death is that I know this feeling will pass and I will go back in again. It's that I need to address before I can begin to move forward.

Am pleased to read you have no intention of giving up on giving up Mark, this addiction is ongoing, but so is recovery so well done on coming back here and picking up the fight again.

Walking along side with you friend as always.

Suzanne xxx

Am drawing a line under this now. Have made the stupid mistake after a long period of abstinence of believing I could control my gambling. Hence I set up a system earlier this year that had some early success and as a result I have given any gains back and today spent my little boys savings. Ashamed doesn't cover it. And after all I went through last year on here with the amazing support of people like Scott and Suzanne, feel like a total failure.
I have learned that you can never ever be complacent with this thing. Tomorrow I start again.

markieb10 wrote: Well here I am again, back to the same point ive been to so many times before. Just lost a fortune in a couple of hours despite finding this wonderful site last week and being inspired to get clean for a week. Seriously, how do I stop this? Ive got a pretty good life - a decent responsible job, loving partner, son I adore and another baby on the way. So why do I lead this horrible secret life which frequently takes me to hell and back? I am so worried that I will never be able to stop because I always end up back here, even after a goid period.
Is it possible to stop? I'm reasonably intelligent and desperately want to, but my worry is that every time I get a good clean run under my belt the devil that is this illness strikes once more.
all thoughts welcome, thanks in advance.
Mark

Hi,

I hope you don't mind me dropping you a line. Ive joined this site to try and help people as I myself was in your position and I know EXACTLY how it feels. You feel like there is no way out, like its gripped you but there IS a way out.

The one thing that helped me was admitting that I had a problem. Admitting that doing this sort of thing isnt really that normal. Once I had done that I actually took it half day by half day. I set myself targets that i thought were acheivable. Dont have a bet for 5 hours, dont have a bet for 5 hours, don't have a bet for 5 hours I kept telling myself. You may fall off the wagon but don't be put off. Get back on and start again. The most important thing is WANTING to give up, just the same as smoking and drinking. It aint any different. Its hard work at first, really hard work but it gets easier as time goes on. Im here to tell you that it CAN be done. It absolutely can be done but you have to get your head down and work at it. You can do this. Try not to think about being clean for a week. Think about being clean for half a day then a day, then a weekend as you go on. Set manageable and realistic targets. If you want to bad enough you will beat this. Try to believe it mate

Welcome back to your new start Mark.:)

I know you can do this my friend, you just have to want to commit 100% to recovery.

It's there in front if you, one day at a time, you will get there.

Good to see you back again and not giving up on giving up.

Take care

Suzanne xxx