groundhog day

Thank you Suzanne, your support is very important to me and I do appreciate it. Same old story today again, found twenty pounds in my bank so guess where that went. Last night I was so determined and am again now, it just scares me to death that when I wake up in the morning it'll be like like today never happened and I'll be chasing the buzz again. Really at a loss right now.

I'm gambling again but the only thing I gamble on is horse racing. I have blocked everything on my online account idont go in betting know. That's the way I deal with it. It's not ideal but I can't stop mate.

Chin up Mark and go again. It's real tough but if it was easy we wouldn't all be here doing the same thing. Keep going pal.

Hi mark,

Do you know something, it's not even the buzz we chase in the end and it's definitely not the money, it's that f*****g addiction, it's sooo very hard at times to keep abstaining and maintaining, even now after 16 months, it trys to pull me back in, I don't know why,

because it has absolutely nothing to offer me but self destruction.

Once we start even if it is only 20, it is the same as 200, 500 etc, because we play until we have nothing left.

You need to get back to the very basics, one day one hour one minute at a time, you NEED to break that triangle, but need is not WANT, this is your choice my friend, you really have to want recovery more than anything else.

This addiction wants to bleed you dry, emotionally, physically, never mind financially..

Blow this candle out for good, and throw it as far as you can, and start walking the other way, remember slowly but surely you can do this, recovery is waiting you just have to want to start making that right choice, back to basics, and abstain and maintain,

Nobody wants to be a slave to gambling, but when we are in the grip of this, that's what we are, abused, slaves. But you can break the chain, I know you can Mark, walking with you all the way,

Keep posting, start abstaining, and start to win your life back for real.

Suzannexxx

Reading these posts is so upsetting....I've been in the same situation so many times, stopped, but then 'pretending' I actually enjoyed gambling, I blamed my genes, (as my father was a compulsive gambler) my wife (for letting me know my PIN number and letting me have my bank card) I've blamed everyone and everything for my own weakness, my own shame, guilt & stupidity.

I'm the 'freeist' I've ever been because this time, I've decided, enough is enough. I've took the resposibility to admit to everyone I know, my boss, wife, (she knew the majority of the time, but ALL gamblers are LIARS!) my mum, auntie, (you get the picture!) and everyone ON HERE, this site, that I AM GOING TO STOP from the date I joined this site. I've drawn a line in the sand and said from 22nd February, I am no longer gambling...IN ANY FORM, it is the ONLY way, it's hard, after the 180 days so far, EVERY day is a battle! YOU MUST WANT to really stop, cold turkey....DO IT! block any form of gambling onto your computer (K9 works for me, obviously get someone else to put the password in!) stop the lottery, bar yourself from bookies, casinos, even the amusments if you have to....everyone has a different weakness! SHARE your success, WRITE it down DAILY-I have a large chalkboard and everyday it changes...IT DOES WORK, but you must want ti to work....for your own sake, stop!

I never end with 'good luck' there is no luck involved, just hard work and determination!