Help (1965) Starring the Beatles

No prizes for guessing what the topic is

I've shared this in a meeting recently but it's really got me thinking and I would love to know if this resonates with anyone else or if it's just me.

It's more than the subject of isolation or at least runs alongside it. When I was gambling, over the years I built up this alter ego a bit like a super hero. Not only did I not want anyone to know I was gambling but whenever asked how I was I would say ok. Basically in the middle. If I let on how much pain I was in them there would be more questions and someone might find out. The same goes for saying I was doing really well which would have been met with a "Why" and how could I explain winnings. So it kept everything tight and no one was the wiser. Over time two things happened, both not good. 

Firstly I began to convince myself that everything was ok. So feelings were getting numb and I could cope with the pain and the lies. 

Second thing that started to happen is they I looked from the outside as someone who was strong and could handle problems so people would lean on me. I let them so that there were no questions asked and how could someone ask me what's wrong I was the one helping them.

So a long winding road to ask a question. Is this why I couldn't ask for help and support to stop gambling. All I needed to do was ask the way. I know I didn't know anything about what recovery looked like or where to start but that concept of reaching out to speak to someone that could help was simply something I didn't do.