Guys, I appreciate your comments and please don't think that I wrote that letter because I was going to do something to myself - believe it or not I am not that selfish. I just can not bring myself to tell anyone, i know it's the chicken's way out but I have explained in the letter why i never told him and i am happy with my explanation. If the debts ever get to a point that they can not be managed then of course i will have to come clean as I will need to approach someone to get a repayment plan but for the time being I am going to continue to fight the fire the best way I can and hope that I can get out the other side without messing anyone else's life up.
Hey,
Not my place to dish out advice but just had a thought - why don't you take letter with you home (hardest bit is done and you put your feelings down in writing) & show him it? There might be million questions to every sentence you wrote but at least you have stated the points which needs dealing with.
I think this is great thing to do, you already made a huge step by writing it out.
You are honest person, take that honesty an extra mile, get worries off your shoulders.. as far as i have read, it makes the world so much brighter place to be.
Of course it's down to you but surely knowing that problem is shared is far better than daily reminder what is hidden in the draw every day you look at your desk.
Wish you well, keep working recovery one day at a time.
Shorty,
To tell or not is your decision but don't kid yourself that you're doing anyone around you any favours by keeping quiet. You're not. Not even you.
My husband gave me some nonsense first time round about about wanting to protect me. He persuaded himself as such but it was an addict rationalisation, totally selfish on his part, it took no account of me, what I would want or how I would feel. He lived a lie because he didn't want to face the fallout.
The fallout happened, as sooner or later it was always going to. It still infuriates me to think of of the extent to which I was taken for a mug but an honest life all round is a whole lot better than what went before.
CW
Day 53...over half way to 100 days now 🙂 had an absolutely crazy weekend am totally exhausted and extremely glad to have nothing planned until July now. Some much needed sleep, gym, family time is on the cards. 2 weeks until pay day...things are pretty tight at the minute but I have enough for all my bills which is the main thing. Focused on keeping to my debt repayment plan and not having any available cash to be stupid with....this has really worked over the past 53 days and if that's the way the recovery has to be then so be it.
Go Shorty ! , sorry it will stop soon I promise ? Just stopped off to say Hi and that I'm glad your still building up those days , stay positive Shorty and have a great day . X
Day 56...so tired today I wouldn't gamble even if someone handed me a free million quid! Takeaway, movie and an early night tonight followed by a lie in tomorrow as the kids are at the in-laws tonight! It's the simple things in life that make the most difference!!!! Can't wait to reach 100 days now....in previous attempts at quitting I would have massive urges by this point but happy i'm still going strong xxxx
Hi there, I have read all your diary, you sound a lovely person, just a victim like me of the gambling industry . I'm sorry you are so tired, gambling stress's hey, just a thought - if you have £K50 in savings why can't you use some of that to pay off your gambling debt ? Or are the savings in joint names ? just a thought .
Hey...I wish I had 50k in the bank...if I die my husband will have 50k in the bank once all my debt has been paid off haha!! Hopefully it won't come to that and I can get this debt cleared and potentially have 50k in savings one day!! We can dare to dream can't we 🙂
shorty1966 wrote:
Day 56...so tired today I wouldn't gamble even if someone handed me a free million quid! Takeaway, movie and an early night tonight followed by a lie in tomorrow as the kids are at the in-laws tonight! It's the simple things in life that make the most difference!!!! Can't wait to reach 100 days now....in previous attempts at quitting I would have massive urges by this point but happy i'm still going strong xxxx
So right shorty. The simple things. Enjoy the weekend. Tri x
Day 58...definitely had an urge today but no access to money so didn't entertain it for very long. Been watching the euros and thinking how much I would have bet on matches...would have won some, would have lost more for example both Portugal games would have put at least a few hundred on Portugal winning and they've draw both!!More money would have been thrown down the toilet. Thank god it's bedtime soon and tomorrow is the start of a new and busy week....have a good feeling about this week 🙂
Day 62....clocking up some good time now!! Been absolutely engrossed in the Euros....what a tournament and it makes me SO HAPPY to be gamble free and watching all these crazy games and results knowing that I was in the thick of a gambling binge I would be literally BROKE right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeeeeeeeze, it actually scares me how much money I could have lost on that tournament and we're only out of the group stages! Thank you thank you thank you people for giving me the strength to continue on this road of freedom and sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 66....properly down in the dumps....brexit has me very worried I hope everything settles down soon 🙁 on the plus side no urges to report...payday tomorrow...going to pay my bills off and leave myself minimal money so even if an urge decides to rear its ugly head I can't act on it xxx
Day 70....ten whole weeks since my last bet 🙂 perked up a bit since my last post managed to navigate my way through payday got enough in the bank for bills and a couple of planned nights out. Booked a couple of nights away with the OH and kids in August which will be lovely if the weather is nice and then our proper holiday abroad in october 🙂 lots of things to look forward to and all affordable if I don't c**k it all up again. The only thing I can say about the last 10 weeks is that having minimal money in the bank is the way forward. I literally have barely any access to money and I'm the sort of gambler that if I don't have at least a few hundred quid to bed with I don't see a lot of point because I need to win big and it's very unlikely that will happen off twenty quid.
Have a great weekend :)xxx
Good plan Shorty, keep those barriers in place even when you think they are unnecessary. For me the urges have never gone but they have eased. Time and active recovery does help! Keep up those posts. Tri
Day 75....up and down at the minute....one minute I think f**k the debts and the next I am stressing like never before. The one thing I do know is that they would be a lot worse had I not got my act together in the past 75 days. I think leaving myself with minimal money in my bank account adds to the stress but the alternative is that there is money in there to do bad things with so its stress and stay gamble free or stress and don't stay gamble free......so I guess I'll take stress then haha!! At least I can keep a sense of humour about the whole thing!
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