Hope

Morning,

Great to hear you had a good week. A sence of achievement , if only we could bottle it.

Thank you for you post earlier in the week about drinking, I hope to get to a stage when one day , I can drink socially, so as much as I will never have another bet, not so sure I will never have another drink. But I do believe I have a lot to sort out in my head before I get to that stage.

As for you , you summed it up when you wrote just generally be good to myself. Make sure you are, achievements should be rewarded. Giving you a good footing in the starting blocks of your next working week

Take care,

Dusty

Hi SA,

Good to hear from you my friend, I'll try and catch up with your diary and see how you have been getting on since I have been away from here quite a while - but it's good to be back.

Keep Strong!

Weldy

Thanks for your support Dusty and Weldy.. my I make you sound like cartoon characters lol 😉

Ive been up with the larks once more. I Been debating with myself whether to go for my usual long Sunday run. Shall I shant i shall I shant i???.. need to test out a new gel thing for my marathon coming up.. however i got as far as getting my kit on and then i just felt cold and i thought... nah not this time. I will stay in and watch the London marathon and then go down the gym. thats the plan folks. In any case i dunny wan a risk injury.

No gambling problems and to a large extent ive been able to switch off from the pressures or work.. which is good. I almost broke into a smile yesterday.. ya know one of those spontaneous smiles that happen for no particular reason other than one is feeling totally chilled out and stress free. I don't get them very often but hopefully they will happen more often as gambling free time builds up.

However I gotta be on my guard.. cos usually what happens with me is that after a few months off it I suddenly and seemingly out of the blue sabotage myself and go off on a gambling binge and so my cycle of problem gambling completes itself... and I am under no illusions that am still on it.

Until I break free of the stressful stranglehold my current job has on me and until I get back to being more social and having more things going on in my life besides running.. then am always gonna be prone to further gambling. Its not rocket sience really. I notice that for the most part people that go for years and years without gambling do so because that have alot of support in life and varied outlets.. usually they have a support partner/family.. not exclusively though.. cos at the end of the day it does all come back to self.

Not that am being hard on myself.. it might read that way.. but am not.. am just being realistic of where i am at. Am doing just fine just now and I have every intention of keeping going on a positive path without gambling. Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble 24th December 2011

Hiya SA ...thanks for popping in ...yep....nothing like a bit of SmoothFM to start and end the day...I wouldn't be without it.

So true about the varied life and having a support network especially when your on your own as its easy to start isolating and going back into yourself...

If your smiling again as you say then your getting your soul back too its great feeling.... Remember when I actually had a good old belly laugh for the first time in yonks...it was so unusual that it scared Dotty as she had never heard me laugh out loud.

Obsessions of any kind rob us of our spontinaety dont they?...and you feel so enslaved being controlled by outside forces.

Good on you for the running....people i know that do it say it gives them mental strength as well as physical...I admire anyone who can do that as my confession is that I drive to post box in my jim jams and reverse back and its only 200yards down the road!! ...shocking.

The Marathon by the telly sounds like the best plan...dont know if its biofreeze your using on muscles but they reckon its good.

Thinking a career change to something in sports may be an idea??.

Your doing great and more variety always always comes as the weather picks up ...get cabin fever being cooped up in the house all night..

Well my friend ...crumpets call and time to refill the coffee cup...

take care

Rach and Doo xxxx

Hiya SA

Things sound a lot more positive in your life. I thought you may have been doing the London Marathon today but sounds like you have your own one to do at some point.

Stay focused on the objective of abstaining from gambling. If you feel its about this time when your gambling comes full circle on you, you need to do something to break the chain but that's really down to you. Like you said with people having partners for support...although i don't get much support from my partner, i do have the pressure from her not to do it as i have to pay for my family to live. If it wasn't for my family i don't know where i'd be, but the same goes for these pages and also the GA rooms that have helped me out along the way.

Wish you all the best SA

Keith

Hi S.A

Its good to read that things with you are ticking along ok..

I've been pretty much the same in the past reguarding the no gambling for a while and then BANG..

Off i go all over again so keep your guard up mate, you are doing so well..

You have a good week

Stay positive

All the very best

Thanks cyber buddies 🙂

4 months gambling free today.. again! Am still feeling the need to post regular in my diary depite having been here for nearly 4 years. Stress levels still high much of the time and depressive anxious moods come and go. However am even more determined to stay stopped this time whatever life may bring my way.

My life isn't really that bad. Just a casual read on the site and i see people in much worse states than i am. And in the real world I see the same. The police battered down my neighbours door and took the fellow away in cuffs.. class A drugs is his thing so am told. His door has been boarded up. I am happy that i have a secure roof over my head. Rent and bills up to date.. thanks to not gambling.

Onwards to another gamble free day. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Really well done on 4 months 2day S.A thatz a great achievement. I an relate 2 so much in ur last post gambling leaves me depressed and anxious at times but wer fighting it hard which is the main thing.

For years i found it easy enough after a real sickener with gambling 2 get 2 12 or 14 weeks and then get complacent forget the pain few pound maybe again and then go esape again 2 the bookies but i woz escapn 2 hell and sadly kept doing it.

Gud luck with your marathon that will be a great achievement.

Hope you stay bet free a day at a time

Morning,

4 months , good for you. I know how hard the battle has been at times. Your job is sooooo stressfully without the added pressure of having the boss from hell.

In the 4 years you have been on this site, I know that you will have helped lots of people in making the right choice that day, but you show that this addiction never leaves us even though so many try to kid themselves that they are cured.

I have so much respect for you, i do not think that I could of coped as well you, should I have been in your shoes. ( I did have the a boss from hell and my life became so unbearable, my addictions were my only means to escape)

I wish you well my friend, and truly hope that the daily battles in your life , become a bit easier, because if there is one person on this site who really deserves a break it is you.

Take care

Dusty xxx

Hiya SA,

Congrats on the four months...:-) Keep on writing for however long it takes...when I see people moving on I think..I wonder when that will happen for me, I've tried to force the issue in the past, leaving, rejoining as you know...but I reckon it will come naturally one of these fine days.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Love Del xo

fantastic news SA....keep on keeping on and writing on your diary....Its all good xxx

Hi SA.

I have read your diary from time to time.And i know you have been here for a good while-4 years!

Haven't posted much on your diary.Doesn't mean i don't read up on others though.

Anyway,i just want to say that you are an inspiration on here.You have had your fall backs but you have come through!

Want to wish you well mate and hoping we all stay on the path to recovey!

Viggo.

Well done on four month SA. Love your diary reminds me alot of yourself.

Thank you all.. your thoughts help alot. Strangely i feel in quite a good mood today even though objevtively ive had a rubbish 24 hours.

I took a client to the gym yesterday evening.. and cutting a long story short he lost his jacket.. a trendy addidas jacket and he being autistic it was a big deal and me being the carer ive had to take the can.. so ive had a verbal warning... which is fair enough.

Anyway there has also been loads of other s**t going at work (isnt there always lol).. and endless driving in appalling weather but today ive been strangely immune form getting angry or upset about stuff. Ive let it all bounce off.

It makes me think that despite the relentless pressure i feel and the re-appearnce of my friendly mouth ulcers I am feeling rather ok. If I was gambling or getting drunk of an evening it would be a different story... but am not.. and i feel the difference. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Last gamble 24th December 2011

"I've let it all bounce off."

I like this!

And I can certainly relate to this too!

NT